


Brokeback Mountain

by Minikah



Category: Far Cry (Video Games), Far Cry 5
Genre: Abuse, Alcohol, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Bliss (Far Cry), Blood and Gore, Canon-Typical Cannibalism, Canon-Typical Violence, Captivity, Cute, Dark Past, Dehydration, Drama, Drugs, First Meetings, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Genocide, Gore, Graphic Description, Gun Violence, Humor, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, M/M, Mental Breakdown, Mental Instability, Murder, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Past Abuse, Past Child Abuse, Romance, Shooting, Slow Burn, Starvation, Swearing, Violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-18
Updated: 2019-07-12
Packaged: 2019-07-14 02:50:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 75,592
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16031432
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Minikah/pseuds/Minikah
Summary: When Junior Deputy Benjamin Deans meets the infamous pyromaniac - Sharky Boshaw - his life changes forever, though it takes lots of time for both of them to notice how much they actually mean to each other, and that each of them, with no doubts, would die only to protect the other.Long story short - those two are lovable Dorks.





	1. Open Water

**Author's Note:**

> The first chapter to welcome all the things that are soon about to happen! Hope you have a good time reading about those two, also following the story of my dear Deputy through the game which was full of humor and, of course, angst. It's very self-indulgent but writing and thinking about them makes me happy, so I hope to share this happiness with you! 
> 
>  
> 
> \+ English is NOT my first language so please keep this in mind or let me know about any unpleasant errors.  
> \+ HUGE THANKS to my lovely beta who is always there for me, reading through my horrible writing and making it all seem more readable.  
> \+ HUGE THANKS 2 to the best Space Babe in the universe whom actually made this thing REAL! If not for you this story wouldn't even exist, so thank you for staying around and inspiring me so much! 
> 
>  
> 
> Enjoy~!

“Deans. Benjamin Deans.”

“Yeah?”

“Behave, son,” the older man with an enormous mustache sounded in the quiet, gloomy room, and he let a frustrated sigh go at how recklessly Benjamin reacted to his calls. Looking from under his glasses at the much youngerーbut obviously tallerーboy, the older man impatiently tapped his signature with his finger that stated _Sheriff Whitehorse_. “Luckily for you, I’m not Lieutenant Hank, and I believe that you know well that he likes to be mean to Rooks like you.”

Benjamin froze finally realizing who had actually spoken those words to him and he looked over at this person to immediately correct himself, though the other man continued with his speech, not allowing him to talk at all. He saw that Sheriff Earl Whitehorse was leaning on a deskーhis own deskーholding a pile of papers while his other hand was occupied with a cup obviously filled with freshly made coffee. Benjamin realized that he was _staring_ at the Sheriff and he tensed, straightening up his body, and clearing up his throat in an intend to speak.

“Of course, Sheriff. Excuse me, Sheriff.” He stuttered a bit, unable to keep it all together as he watched Whitehorse drink the beverage that Ben knew was mixed up together with Staci Pratt’s saliva. “What are your commands, Sheriff?”

Whitehorse took a small sip, licking his lips afterward at how tasty and hot it was, and luckily didn’t notice the huge smirk that spread on Benjamin’s face. Whitehorse wasn’t truly mean to him, he actually treated Ben quite equally since Benjamin wasn’t a _bad_ junior deputy. His best friend, Staci Pratt, on the other hand, was regularly mistreated by the Sheriff which didn’t please Ben at all. Though Ben was always trying to help Staci with his mischievous plans, he, of course, remained loyal to Whitehorse whenever duty called.

“We are going to Hope County soon. Go tell your friendーStaci, yes? Go tell him that he must go with us, we gonna need a helicopter for that.” Benjamin, at first in a light-hearted mood, right now felt how a shiver went through the whole of his spine. _Finally._ Happiness was all he felt when he heard that Staci could come with them. With _him._ From the beginning, he treated Staci like his younger brother, most importantly making sure nothing wrong happened to him but also having the time of his life whenever he was around.

“Don’t be so happy about that, Dep. We’re going to get that crazy cult leader, Joseph Seed.”

* * *

 

Benjamin abruptly sat up, grabbing and throwing the covers away in order to escape if needed, and with that, he realized that he had dreamed of his past again and that there was actually nothing around to be called dangerous. The sofa on which he slept creaked loudly as he did that fast motion and he sighed silently, searching for his bag where he found a bottle of water only to drink all of the liquid that was left there at once. He then proceeded to lay down comfortably again, looking up at the ceiling of this abandoned house he had found on his way to help just another civilian in oppression.

God, how he wanted for those peaceful times when Ben and Staci could just hang out, to come back.

Every day he had to fight for his own survival, fighting his way out of many situations, he had to fight for the resistance that didn’t want the cult to destroy their County, he was helping people that needed aid or just another gun. He was killing Peggies in the name of freedom and the resistance, also for his colleagues from work and, most importantly, for _Staci_. But he always had to remember that all he was doing was killing _people_.

And at some point, he started to do it with ease.

He knew that John Seed was right in a way, it was _wrath_ that was driving him forward, that was making him so determined to kill every Peggie on his way to release his colleagues and to save everyone who was oppressed by the cult. But at the same time, he hated this idea that he became so ruthless, that his only purpose in life happened to be _murder_ because he had no other choice in order to survive and to stop the cultists.

Benjamin tried to justify himself and his actions during every evening right before going to sleep. Finding an abandoned house or just sleeping in the woods, he just waited for his thoughts to do the job for him, to tell him that he was doing nothing wrong, that whoever he had killed _deserved_ to die. Usually, it ended up so that Ben couldn’t sleep at all, the nightmares and thoughts, in the end, had been haunting him until he realized it was already dawn. But gladly, right now Benjamin had two friends that were helping him through his unending journey in Hope CountyーNick Rye, the famous pilot and his sniper buddy Grace.

As he could find no peace anyway, he sat up again, groaning loudly as he looked over at the two sleeping figures, one nearby on another sofa, the other on the bed in the bedroom that was not far from the living room, with the door opened. He was happy to see that at least his companions could find a pleasant and calm sleep. He thanked God he was able to save them and their families, but at the same time, he knew that their company meant they could get hurt at basically any given moment, and Benjamin was blaming himself for every wound they had got during their journey.

His eyes slowly wandered towards the sleeping figureーNickーthat he knew was sleeping on the sofa. He had already promised himself that tomorrow he will order him to go home, back to his wife and their unborn child. Ben couldn't deal with how easily it could be for Peggies to shoot Rye’s plane down, and when he had had to once watch the other man be forced to perform an emergency landing he had thought it would be his end, and heーBenjamin himselfーwould _need_ to be the one to tell Kim that her husband was gone. Living with the thought that because of his _desire_ for Nick to be his companion he would die and thus his wife and his child would be left alone…

_No._

Blame was further becoming bigger as he stared at the covers that were hiding Grace. She had done her part, and he was sure she wished to be done with it just as he did but the more he thought about it, the more he didn’t want to force her to follow him as well. He had helped them and they already had returned their favor so they were even. Both could leave him, and he could continue his journey on his own with no fear that something would happen to them.  

As he sat and thought about how they were going to part the following day, he could see the sun slowly rise from behind the forest he was able to see through the window. _God_ , so the _following day_ already happened, and their time together was coming to an end faster than he hoped it would. Ben couldn’t say he didn’t enjoy their company, on the contrary, he was the happiest to have them around when times were harsh to him. In a way he didn’t want to say any goodbyes to them, he didn’t _want_ to be left alone with his own demons but he _had_ to do this, now or never.

Sighing once again, he stood up to recover his shirt and pants from the ground and he went to the bathroom to dress up and ready himself for his journey. While getting up, he could hear Nick move in his dreams, babbling some nonsense that the Deputy couldn’t understand as he maneuvered as silently as possible towards the corridor. Once Ben reached his destination, he changed his sleepwear into his favorite red plaid shirt to later put on his black jeans, and... _oh God._

Ben only now noticed his reflection in the mirror. He couldn’t see at first the top of his face from how low the window was hangingーthough truth was it probably hanged on the right levelーBenjamin was tall enough to nearly brush the ceiling with his dark curls, and the stubborn hair was everywhere except on its right place. He lowered himself a little and saw now more clearly the tired, gray eyes that stared back at him, also noticing the countless freckles that somehow happened to be more visible whenever he wished they weren't that obvious.

He looked around the bathroom to find a hair comb or at least a hairbrush to do something with his horrible hair when the door swiftly opened.

“ _Oh, man,_ sorry Ben.” Nick entered, looked for a few seconds at the Deputy with a puzzled expression, babbled the apologies and left while Ben only laughed in response because he could see that the man was clearly yet not fully awake. He finally found the thing he was searching for to at least make his awful curls more tolerable to his own eyes, trying to calm the mess on his head he always had in the morning.

After he was sure there was _no way_ to control that chaos that he kept calling his hair, he left the bathroom and bumped into a half-asleep Nick, and the other man mumbled another _sorry_ because he stood in the way. Benjamin again only laughed in response because this man was a _mess_ in the morning. With that Nick went into the bathroom right after Ben, closing the door afterward while the Deputy slowly walked back into the living room where they earlier had slept.

Grace was already sitting on the sofa that Benjamin used as his bed, munching something while watching the sunrise that was now lightening up the whole room. She, as the only one, slept in the bedroom even though she had insisted she could just sleep on the ground but Ben had been determined she took the bed while the door was open. And so she did.

“I’m going to Henbane River today but you two can’t follow me this time,” Ben, with nothing else, stated, though he felt his guts twitch at the thought he would happen to be alone as he once used to be. Grace shot him a glare he knew he would never forget, then she smiled in response to what he had said as she continued to eat, munching now much louder. It frustrated the other man and he went over to a counter where he, the previous evening, had left his hat before going to sleep. He put it on now, glad that most of his curls could be now hidden underneath it. “ _Grace,_ it's an order.”

He turned to look at her from under his hat that gave him a much more menacing look and he noticed that Nick had already left the bathroom, fully dressed, shooting him a confused glare. Grace was standing now too, not far from Nick as they both just clearly had written on their faces that _no,_ they were not leaving the Deputy like _this._  Ben let out another sigh full of frustration because he didn’t truly want to deal with all of this, and he regretted right now that he hadn't left without telling them that he had had to travel on his own, though truth was he would feel as if he had betrayed them if he had done something like that.

“Ben, like, why would we want you to even go there on your own? I meanーwell... if you really want to, then fine, but...” Nick tried to form a sentence, though it was clear he in a way _wanted_ to use his given freedom and to go back to his wife. Ben was glad that the pilot offered him his help and his plane but in the end the Deputy was certain about the fact that Rye would rather stay and be close with Kim than run around and shoot Peggies with Ben, especially because she was nearly at the end of her pregnancy, and Ben just allowedーeven orderedーhim to do that, to go back to her.

Grace on the other side was different. She and Ben weren’t as close as the Deputy happened to be with Nick since theyーBen and Graceーweren’t companions as long as he had been with the pilot, but as Ben had taught her a lot about how to be even better with her sniper rifle, she tolerated him enough. She wasn’t bad company though, it would be easier to say that it was Ben who wasn’t good company to _her_ but truth was they still liked each other, though if given the opportunity, Grace would rather leave than stay. Still, she yet remained in place.

“You go live your lives, you truly helped me more than I wished and I can’t thank you enough,” Ben stated, and he looked own, hiding a little behind his black cowboy hat at the same time. He could feel a little blush form on his freckled face because truth was, he felt awkward with how often he actually had _used_ them for his own purposes and for his fights. And he still would probably need to call them again at some point, being aware of the fact that if he ever needed their aid, they would come. “Though when… _if_ I ever need help again and find myself in need of your company, I will let you know.”

“Sure, Deputy. You know where to find me. See you, Nick. Ben.” It was all Grace had said before she grabbed her remaining stuff and her rifle, smiling one last time and leaving the house with no more words. Nick, on the other hand, was yet not ready to leave, though it was clear that once he felt like it was his time to go, he would leave as well, and Ben decided he would stay here until the pilot safely flew away.

Nick Rye was still standing in the same spot, biding his goodbyes to Grace and then staring at that man that had helped him and Kim out of oppression, also saving his plane from Peggies. The pilot would never be able to thank him enough for what Ben had done to him and his family and he knew that the Deputy would still gladly come to lend him a hand if only needed. They both could rely on each other, and they both had it clearly hard to say goodbyes to each other in such a sudden and unexpectedーespecially to the pilotーway. Nick could now clearly see on the other man’s face that Ben wouldn’t intend to leave this place as long as the pilot was here, so he had prepared himself, took his rifle and finally bid his goodbyes to the Deputy as well.

“Good luck, Deputy. Hope to see you again in Fall’s End for a beer or something.” Benjamin nodded, with that simple motion promising the other man that _yes_ , he would for sure come back to see him and his wife. Ben wasn’t able to tell any more words besides another _goodbye_ and Nick finally left, and the Deputy was standing now completely on his own in the middle of the living room of this abandoned house, hearing the pilot start the engine of his plane from afar. Once he was sure his companion was gone, he exhaled loudly, and thus Benjamin Deans was the last to leave the building, with his sniper rifle ready to be used at any given moment.

He was done with John Seed and his bullshit and he decided to leave Holland Valley the moment that freak tattooed the sin on his skin. Ben knew no good would await him at the Henbane River anyway, but all that was better than being forced to look at the youngest of the Seed brothers.

Walking down the path, he quickly found an abandoned car so he got inside it, putting the sniper rifle beside himself and preparing his gun in order to quickly shoot if something went wrong. He started the engine and again exhaled loudly, looking at the road in front of himself. _Where will this path lead me to?_ His thoughts were giving him images of his past, how he had left his home in order to start a new life somewhere else. Remembering how much it had changed him and how it had affected his life, how much one simple sitting in a car and just _driving forwards_ had changed him, he right now started to drive, just like that one particular day from long agoーonly this time he was heading in the direction of the huge statue of Joseph Seed.

Thanks to the car that Ben in a way stole, he managed to cross the borders much faster, all the time hoping for the Peggies not to recognize him while behind the wheel. He maintained to sneak quite well, even though he was pretty visible, and if only someone recognized him, he would be for sure immediately shot down. At some point, unsure of where to go now, he made a short break to eat and to look over at his map to where he could drive, finding himself quite close to the Moonflower Trailer Park where a crazy man was apparently doing a barbecue with angels.

Ben giggled at the sheer thought of that. _Who could be this crazy?_ Curiosity wasn’t his best trait but considering he didn’t have anything better to do, he started the engine to meet with that particular man and to see where all of this would lead him. He made sure the path he chose was less busy, trying to avoid Peggies as much as possible. As the Deputy was driving, he was checking the map again a few times because he lost his way from how close he was to being detected by some cultists. Although he was still seeing enemies everywhere, he tried his best to act normal, as if he was just driving by, as every other Peggie would.

When he spotted the Trailer Park in front of himself, he could already see a man on a rooftop that clearly _hadn't been_ lying when he said he would be doing a barbecue, shooting flames with his flamethrower everywhere he could while he showed off his middle finger, as the Deputy assumed, because he was far enough not to be able to tell such a thing. This dude was fucking _insane_ , and this was only driving Ben forward to get to know him better.

Benjamin left his car close to the entrance to the Trailer Park, leaving his sniper rifle inside and slowly walking towards the rooftop where that crazy man was standing, shouting some words into the air that again made the Deputy giggle. As Ben correctly assumed, this pyromaniac was indeed showing his middle finger while the other hand was occupied with the flamethrower, and the man was loudly singing with his headset on, yet unaware of Ben’s presence. The closer the Deputy was, the less he could stop smiling because he only now realized the huge smile spread on the pyromaniac’s face along with, well… a _boner_.

Feeling his own face warm up from how close the fire was and from that ridiculous sight, he actually nearly wanted to walk away before the man would notice him and realize he had been watched all that time but Benjamin gathered up his courage and climbed on that rooftop to let the other man finally know about his presence, smiling brightly to make a decent first impression.

Till now the Deputy couldn’t fully see the face of the man that he had assumed was for sure insane but as he finally gave him a proper look, he realized that this person wasn’t that ugly as he at first had wrongly assumed. Actually, Benjamin had his special type of men he thought were more attractive than othersーespecially rednecksーand he honestly _wouldn’t_ consider this man as not interesting at all, though at the same time he wouldn’t regard this man as handsome, too.

The pyromaniac didn’t stop to show off as he noticed a stranger climb up the rooftop, though he stopped to use around his flamethrower like crazy, _hopefully_ aware that he might hurt an innocent by doing that in the way he usually used to do. He shot the Deputy a glare, and his expression was completely changing as he was looking at the stranger’s face hidden by a shadow that the hat cast. No more than a smile on his face was visible, as the pyromaniac was first of all annoyed that some guyーprobably policeーjust came here, and secondly, he was startled by the fact how _tall_ the other man appeared even from so far. _A fucking giant._

“ _Fuck off,_ dude, ya ain’t gonna arrest me!”


	2. Disco Inferno

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After meeting this crazy Pyromaniac Ben tries for a split second to be just as crazy as he is, though is it worth it? Ben has to find out for himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome to the second chapter of those two trying to get along, hope you enjoy it and hope that you like the beginning of their insane relationship!

Benjamin had a strong urge to loudly laugh at the other man’s reaction to his appearance but all he did was look away from him, noticing how crazy all the construction around the Moonflower Trailer Park actually looked like. Most of the buildings were connected by plates made of aluminum that were placed on the rooftops, impressively huge speakers all around this place, though silent, and, _well_ , there was also this quite _big_ amount of explosives, that Ben assumed had something to do with the upcoming Angel barbecue, along with the flamethrower that was being held by the pyromaniac. Another weapon of this kind that was lying near Ben and the Deputy shot it a killer smile thinking that perhaps the arsonist expected someone.

Showing off must have been the other man’s _thing_ because now Ben, as he glanced back at this dude, could see him kind of unconsciously put his palm near the still hot place of the flamethrower. He noticed many rings that he had on his fingers, along with two golden bracelets on both his forearms to fashionably match the rings. Also, the golden necklace that glanced around his neck didn't go unnoticed, though it was a little hidden behind the huge green hoodie. Only now the text on that clothing of his that proudly stated _‘What are you smiling at?’_ came to Ben's attention, which made the Deputy cast a shit eating grin at the other man, and the confusion was only rising on the pyromaniac’s expression as Ben did nothing but _stare_. Another thing, though the Deputy decided not to admire it yet from this far, was the fire tattoo on the arsonist’s right forearm, peeking a little from under the hoodie’s sleeve.

The overall _redneck_ look of this man was quite appealing to Ben's liking, especially _this_ type of beard that wasn’t recently as popular as the Deputy sadly noticed, though it was the _second_ man with such perfectly styled goatee he had seen in the last few weeks, with the first being _Dutch,_ the man whom he owed his life. He couldn’t deny that he always felt a thing for men with this particular appearance, though he never would publicly admit that for many personal reasons, not even to himself, and _especially_ not to those men. With girls his personal favorite type was different, he wouldn’t even say that he had a special _type_ he preferred over others, Ben would rather admit that _th_ _is_ exact type—a girl with black curls and freckles as his own; basically his lookalike—would be a definite _‘no’_ to him.

 _“Ya there?_ Seems like I’m talkin’ to a tree or somethin’,” the pyromaniac started with a little frustrated tone that indicated he was slowly losing his patience while the giant man was only standing there and staring, like a way too stoned dude would do. He couldn’t deny that he was glaring as well, because _man_ , _this_ man was something with this impossible height of his and since he wasn’t replying to his question at all, he was forced, kinda, to stare as well. The arsonist was also always feeling like someone who could be without any doubt called _tall_ as well but right now he felt particularly _tiny._ He yet couldn’t see a lot under that dark hat of his but that _freaking_ grin he noticed made him in a way feel somewhat unpleasant in his guts. Maybe this man wasn’t actually here to take him to jail? The pyromaniac alone had no clue why this man was truly here but he hoped for the best. As always.

“I’m not here to arrest you,” Ben’s low voice through the never-ending smile finally sounded, and it nearly startled the other man, though the arsonist quickly recovered his facade by trying to show off and assert his dominance over the man that visited him. This was _his_ place, his little kingdom on Earth, and nobody could say _shit_ about what he could and what he couldn't do, especially not when the Seed bros were doing way worse things in all of Hope County, ruling here as if this was their own place on the world. In a way he also felt so incredibly annoyed by how small he felt by the cowboy that he wanted with his stance and whole demeanor to show him that he was the one in charge here, though failing a little since the cowboy man didn’t seem to be amused by whatever the arsonist tried to achieve at all. “I heard that there’s a barbecue here. The invitation still stands?”

The smile that just spread on the pyromaniac’s face would be one of those Ben would, for fairly long, remember. His whole attitude changed nearly in a second as the Deputy stated why he actually came here, confessing to him that he didn’t come here to take him away at all, and it was clear that the crazy pyromaniac even wanted to jump up through the heavy flamethrower and the fuel tanks on his back made it nearly impossible.

 _“Hell yeah!_ Man, we gonna _burn_ some peggies!” He yelled loudly, God, this man was insane and Ben started to wonder if this was truly a decent idea that he had stopped by but if any regrets would come to haunt his soul for what he was about to do, they would haunt him later. But, what he already noticed, though he kind of tried to calm his own mind down about that matter, was this particularly strong accent the man spoke with. “Uh, name’s Charlemagne Victor Boshaw, tho I prefer _Sharky_ for short.”  

His extraordinary name was now the thing that startled the Deputy to the point the smile disappeared from his face for a split second as he was trying to memorize both the short version of his name as well as the longer variant. _Charlemagne Victor Boshaw_. It didn’t sound like something the other man would call _fitting_ for the pyromaniac, God, he could actually easily say this man could be some kind of royalty, even though the redneck demeanor and looks were telling him differently, and he wouldn’t know until too late.

“You can call me Ben.” The Deputy only said deciding not to share the full variation of his name yet, though truth was that he, exactly like Sharky—though for reasons obviously different—preferred the short version of his name.

“Grab the flamethrower man, gonna put on some _really good music_ that is so _fuckin’_ good that even the Angels come over to dance.” Whatever Ben expected to hear was totally different from what he heard loudly coming from the speakers all around the Trailer Park. _Disco._ It was fucking disco and Ben was about to die from laughter as he grabbed the flamethrower since through the loudness he still could hear the Angels approaching their position quite fast.

Sharky was having the time of his life, shooting flames at all Angels running at them, while Ben was yet figuring out how the weapon worked, though he had to be quick from how _fast_ and how damn many enemies were out there, already all around the building on which they both stood. The worst part was that some of the attackers started to climb it. The other man, in the meantime, was yelling and singing along with the song while Benjamin started to be stressing out about how they were going to even survive this barbecue. _God, this man is plain crazy and I am just as crazy._ Finally, the Deputy managed to shoot flames and get rid of all the enemies that already crawled on the rooftop, and God, the pyromaniac was right, it was _something._ Seeing the flames consume all the enemies made him _yell_ along with Sharky, and the whole scene happened to be a huge mess of flames, burning Angels, and their yells together with the loud disco.

Of course, something had to go wrong. Of course, _something_ must have made Benjamin groan so loudly he actually wished he had never come here. Sharky couldn’t stop the damn music and since the Angels kept coming at them, surely not just them—Ben was certain he could hear even some cars obviously filled with Peggies approaching the Trailer Park. _Great._ The pyromaniac asked him to, well, turn off the speakers before shit went down completely, so the Deputy, not really willingly, left the flamethrower behind and jumped down of the quite safe rooftop to run around the whole place only to stop the raging music. It wasn’t easy since damn bullets were now flying close to his head as he tried his best not to _fucking_ die on his way to stop the music, finding—thankfully—a bat, and crushing a few angels’ heads with it before they managed to approach them. The Peggies were a completely different matter though, he _had_ to take them down with his gun, though right now he wished dearly he had taken his sniper rifle with him to take care of them from the rooftop before he rushed to the speakers.

Once all the enemies were down, this eerie and the unnerving silence fell upon this place, and while some fires were still burning all around the Trailer Park, Ben never felt more tired as he did right now. He regretted dearly he hadn't decided to smoke earlier because now he was dying to just take out a cigarette and light it up to calm himself down a little but he thought that there was _enough_ of fire and smoke all around them already. _God._ This was exhausting but at the same time, he couldn’t deny, whatever they just did was entertaining and it was definitely _something_ he was not going to forget so easily _._ This _man_ was also something, for sure.

He again approached the rooftop with he pyromaniac on top of it and climbed it to talk with the other man, seeing that Sharky was right now performing the _happiest_ dance he'd seen in a while. If not ever. It amused him, so he was staring, _again,_ letting the other man have his little while of joy that the two of them just burned half of the Henbane River’s unwanted residents.  

“Man, _shit_ , that was _awesome_. It was _hella_ close to bein’ fucked up but _fuck_ , am turned on as _fuck_ right now, ain’t even denyin’ it,” Sharky spoke while still presenting his dance because it was damn true, the last time he felt this amazing was when he and Hurk nearly blew up his own house. Okay, _this_ for sure hadn't been as entertaining and as safe as what he and this Ben just did but it was in a way comparable, though he had to admit it was the best action he had done with anyone in a quite long while. That was something else, something insanely fantastic, and he was seriously glad the man he thought that came here to arrest him turned out to be nearly as crazy as he was—as the pyromaniac assumed. A thought just flashed through his mind, a thought that he caught and decided to hold onto. “Y’know, if ya will ever need me or somethin’, just hit me up. Ya already know where to find me.”

Sharky wasn’t the man who would call himself the best company to other people, especially to people like Ben. He had a feeling this man wasn’t what he at first considered he was, there must have been something more behind that constantly smiling face and it made him curious to get to know him better, to meet the man that was still hiding under that damn hat. He only hoped that this Ben wouldn't forget him as fast as other people usually did and at least visited him once a year or something. Actually, he wouldn’t even deny it—it was scaring him greatly that he developed so fast such a feeling but he wanted to be able to call him his friend and... for Ben to call him his friend too.

“Sure. You may come with me even _now_ if you want to.”  _No_. _No, what are you doing?_ Ben didn't come here to recruit another person to later feel regret by doing _exactly_ this, he came here because he was curious, he wanted to see what the pyromaniac meant with that barbecue, he—the way the other man reacted to his statement made Benjamin’s line of thoughts be interrupted to the point that he totally forgot about whatever he was thinking about. Sharky smiled widely, and since his flamethrower was now replaced by a much smaller and much handier shotgun, he jumped up into the air and danced some more, yelling ‘ _hell yeahs_ ’ he was sure even Joseph Seed could hear.

This man was seriously something.

“Think about this, Sharky. I’m a Deputy. _The_ Deputy,” Ben’s voice of reason decided to speak, even though the soft side of his was cheering inside of him as much as the arsonist openly did, but he had to let the other man know that whatever he just agreed to, would mean the pyromaniac would be at constant risk. Also, he would be put under great responsibility, fighting in the name of the resistance, and in a way, this man didn’t feel—in Ben’s opinion—like someone who would bother about being a freedom fighter at all. The Deputy shot him a reassuring smile because he saw the other man was lost deep in his thoughts, staring at him with an expression that Ben couldn’t truly read. “All I do is warn you, I’m not saying that I don’t wish to have your company around.”

Sharky exhaled in relief. This wasn’t what he expected to hear, this also wasn’t what he expected from this man here at all. He had had a feeling this man had something to do with the police, and _hell yeah,_ he was not wrong, but still, he didn’t expect for this man to be the already pretty much known _Deputy_ , the same man that started destroying the cult and whatever Broseph achieved in no time and, it seemed, with total ease. _Fuck_. Now the same man just burned down like a hundred of Peggies and Angels together with him, and, _well_ , he wasn’t really kind to him at the beginning, actually telling him to fuck off, while Ben did nothing but laugh.

What a day.

 _“Noted._ Still, am stayin’. Well, I mean, I'm with ya— _I mean..._ as your pyromaniac for hire or whatever ya wanna.” Sharky tried to speak though it was clear he had a hard time forming a proper sentence because the Deputy _again_ shot him such a smile the arsonist wished to be over with it already. He wasn’t dancing anymore for a while now, looking around not to be dealing with that cowboy right now but the cowboy seemed to have other plans.

Ben approached him with slow steps, and only now the incredible height of this man became truly visible to Sharky while he stared at him wide-eyed. _Fuck_. He had to look up because his own cap was _kinda_ in his way as he tried to find the other man’s eyes. It was the first time he actually could clearly see his face even though the shadow was still covering most of it, and man, that wasn’t the sight he imagined that the hat was hiding. This man for sure had all the pussy in the whole damn Montana.

“Junior Deputy Deans, at your service.” Proper introduction by the giant was what made Sharky harshly wake up from the way too many thoughts that flashed through his already overused brain. Ben with one hand gently touched his own hat, nodding to greet the other man while he extended his other arm towards the man that stood in front of him. Sharky immediately took it into his much smaller palm—as he _damn_ noticed—to shake it, trying to put as much strength into it as possible for the other man not to think of him as just some another redneck pussy, while smiling up at him.

“Lord Broshaw the Sharkmaster, at yours.” He said and this made the Deputy giggle pretty loud and, _fuck me_ , was this giant just trying to _hide_ under that huge cowboy hat of his? It seemed as if this particular answer Sharky chose to use flushed the other man dearly, the unexpectedness and probably the ridiculous nature of it made him chuckle so much he had to somewhat hide from Sharky’s stare. It looked so bizarre, this _huge dude_ just trying his best to cover his face— _wait, are those freckles?_

“I have yet no clue where to go now though, I kind of… have no plans for the rest of the day,” The Deputy quickly stated before Sharky comprehended the incredible amount of freckles he noticed when Ben moved his head towards the sun and before he alone could form a question on his own. _Man_. He had seen a lot in his life but this dude, a dark-haired dude to be exact, had more freckles than any other ginger person he had ever encountered, not that he met many people in his life anyway. “Any ideas? Propositions maybe?”

“Uh… I dunno man, we can just walk around and hope for the best,” With all honesty Sharky neither had any idea of what they should be doing now, especially not as he happened to suddenly be a freedom fighter now, _fuck,_ if he knew this day would be as crazy as it turned out he wouldn’t believe even if this was Hurk telling him this while he was drunk as heck. His life happened to have quite the turn considering _no_ plans at all, and he wasn’t truly mad about it. On the contrary, he was excited of what could possibly come next, though still with big hopes that nothing would go wrong on their way to whatever they planned to do. “Tho, uh, not gonna lie… am kinda hungry.”

Ben, even though it seemed that he ignored Sharky’s statement about his growing hunger, went over to the edge of the rooftop, and while he supported his hat with his hand for it not to fall down, he jumped gracefully down with a loud thud as he reached the ground. He turned to look at the pyromaniac, encouraging him to follow him with a barely visible motion with his hand.

Sharky needed no more. He, not as gracefully as Ben, but as fabulously as only he could, _kind of_ nearly fell down, saving himself in the last moment before he crushed his whole body into the still quite amused Deputy. He looked up at him, the height of this cursed man again startling him, and all the freckles and the bloody hat of his were _not_ helping at all as he tried to kind of show him that he was alright, that _this_ was executed just as he planned. So he loudly cleared his throat, giving the Deputy a confused stare.

“Uhh okay? _I mean_ —ya okay?” The pyromaniac asked, though he mentally slapped himself in his mind because well, first of all, he _fucked up_ , secondly... Ben _was_ okay, as it seemed by the way he stared down at him. Maybe. _Fuck._ His human-to-human interactions were worsening the more time he was spending alone or only with his cousin _Hurkules_. _Man_ , how he actually missed him, last time he saw his favorite family member—not counting auntie Addie of course—was like a week ago, if he wasn’t wrong about that matter because he was horrible with dates. Still, it was enough for Sharky’s loneliness to deepen and for him to become the talking mess he was right now, the arsonist being unable to form a proper sentence because of a freckled cowboy man was standing in front of him.

“I don’t know, are _you_ okay? Can we move on?” Benjamin carefully asked through a smile on his face—he didn’t actually answer his question—and he was very well seeing the struggle and awkwardness clearly visible on Sharky’s face. His expression was actually changing as his line of thoughts must have been switching with every passing second but the Deputy only stared, waiting for the right moment to ask his question.

Sharky after Ben simply wanted to make sure the pyromaniac didn’t hurt himself by nearly falling off the rooftop, shot him another confused glare, as if his brain wasn’t working at its best today, trying hard to comprehend the meaning of every word the cowboy was saying. The pyromaniac scolded himself in his mind, _fuck,_ he actually had no idea if it truly was so _bad_ with him that he must have made everything so awkward _this_ fast, and from all of things right now he didn’t want for Ben to believe he was a worthless idiot. _Tho ya fuckin’ are one heck of an idiot, Sharky._

“ _Hell yeah!_ As _Shurky_ as one can be, man! Lead the way, Deputy Ben.”

With that, Sharky followed this cowboy man to—what he assumed—not actually his own car since it actually wasn’t of the best quality, bullet holes here and there, and secondly… _no_ , it for sure wasn’t the car the Deputy owned. There were other cars around as well, the ones with which Peggies drove in here only to turn their little, crazy barbecue into a mess of flying bullets, _Disco Inferno,_ people screaming, Ben running around to actually stop the music, and later lazily burning bodies, with fire slowly turning them into ash. Not that he alone cared, he would burn all the damn Peggies in the whole Hope County, also the Seed bros—maybe even their little sister—with no hesitation if that meant he could be freely driving to Fall’s End to drink beer in peace or to eat some good pussy again with no Peggies bothering him during his way there.

As he noticed the Deputy didn’t speak a word till he opened the car’s door, ordering him silently to take a seat so that they could plan out their route, also keeping in mind to later find a place to sleep. Ben already sat inside, taking something from the other front seat away, and only then the pyromaniac opened the passenger’s door to get in as well. Sitting comfortably down with a loud thud that shook the whole vehicle, he released a little, satisfied moan because _hell yeah_ , he didn't have to be driving since he knew that if cowboy man ordered him to drive instead, _boy_ , Ben would for sure immediately regret having him around.

Breathing in, Sharky sucked in with his nose new smells that weren’t corrupted by the fire and smoke. For a second he regretted he had such a nose that damn worked as a drug addict that didn’t get his dose in a while, and all the new smells were hitting his mind so fast and with such great force, he felt as if his head spun a little. This must have been Ben’s personal smell that the car was already entirely filled with, though he couldn’t and _shouldn’t_ be so sure about that matter.

He turned around to put his shotgun on the backseat noticing by that what actually the Deputy put there before he got in. It was his sniper rifle, and _man_ , this weapon was seriously something. It was huge—first of all—taking the whole width of the car and even having to be laid so that it actually could perfectly fit in there. The wooden stock of the rifle with carved out patterns made Sharky actually stop whatever he was doing for a second to give them a proper look. He blinked a few times while still admiring this insanely good-looking firearm and exhaled as he finally carefully put his _boring_ shotgun beside this weaponry masterpiece.

“Man… where did ya get this thing from? Some museum or what?” Sharky decided to ask about the rifle while turning back to give the Deputy a look and only now he noticed how the other man’s whole demeanor changed once they were settled in the vehicle. Ben was holding the wheel firmly, staring blankly at whatever was lying in front of the car, and his expression at the same time was saying everything and nothing. The pyromaniac blinked a few times _again_ while comprehending the fact that Ben was deep lost in his thoughts while he admired and talked about the weapon, so he probably didn’t even hear his question about that matter but this wasn’t important right now anyway, he could ask about it later. Looking over where the Deputy’s eyes were glaring at, he faced the Trailer Park, with smoke all around, some places yet burning.

Benjamin was looking at all the bodies that yet were recognizable as _bodies_ , he also saw some ashes that he was sure were once humans or likely Angels—still, normal people to him—and pain about that subject made his heart heavy. It was all his work, he did this, again mercilessly killing and burning people that all did was blindly follow the Father. Ben wasn’t even sure if they actually deserved such fate, especially all the Angels that actually had their mind under the control of drugs. Those people were unable to act as they used to do and maybe deep inside they still were real personalities, people that used to have families, hobbies, waiting now patiently in that horrific cage to be released from the Bliss’ hold but all the Deputy did, was to burn them.

Those were people he promised to help.  

He sensed that Sharky asked a question, also perceiving now that the other man was staring at him while he shamelessly ignored his presence in his own damn car. Taking a deep breath to calm his mind and all of his thoughts down, he turned to give the pyromaniac a look, observing now how Sharky was staring at the burning mess in front of them just as he was seconds ago. He wondered if he too did see what they had actually done, regretting that they killed those people just for the fun of burning Angels alive or, on the contrary, feeling quite well with this, as Ben actually wished he would feel too. It wasn’t long since they met, maybe just minutes, but as he assumed before starting all of this madness, the regrets would eventually come, and they came way faster than whatever he guessed.

Still, he realized that this man was _something,_ he was crazy, he was a _damn_ pyromaniac for sure, listening to loud disco while burning down countless Angels, dancing an incredibly ecstatic dance afterward and not caring about the fact that the Deputy was watching him at all, being just himself no matter what, and...

Before he even alone realized that, Benjamin was smiling while still staring at the pyromaniac that sat on the passenger’s seat.

His voice of reason gave him an idea that he should regret meeting this man, that he should be aware of the fact that Sharky for sure would turn his quite calm life into something insane and loud. Ben couldn’t tell if he actually was ready for such a turn in his life, even in a way a desire was growing within him to tell Sharky that maybe they actually should part, he would only drive him home wherever his house was but… something else, something deep inside of him was yelling at him the same way Ben yelled earlier while burning Angels just as the pyromaniac did. Ben regretted many things in his life but from all of things, meeting Sharky Boshaw wasn’t a thing he should regret at all.

_Fuck it all._

“Sorry, I was intensively thinking about some… _things._ Did you say something?” Benjamin asked because he was unsure about what actually Sharky wanted from him, and the other man jumped a little on his seat as the Deputy suddenly spoke when he all that time was plain silent. Ben apologized him again for scaring him, shooting him an apologetic smile and again leaning down to make the hat hide his face a little. He didn’t want for the other man to see him like this… so _weak_ , like someone who was not capable of killing people when the resistance actually expected from him exactly that. He was _the Deputy,_ a freedom fighter, for fuck’s sake, he should show even to this man that he knew what he was doing, be an authority all the residents of Hope County deserved.

“Doesn’t matter, Dep. Ya thought about where to go maybe? ‘Cause I got an idea.” Sharky wanted to tell him the truth but as he was kinda used to being ignored, to being moved to the background, he decided not to push the other man too much _not_ to show him how desperate he actually was to stay around the cowboy. Even though Ben asked him about that matter, Sharky kinda felt that talking about the sniper rifle now would make things furthermore awkward. Something was also off with how Dep acted comparing the Ben here to the Ben Sharky saw earlier, though he yet couldn’t tell what all this behavior meant.

“Your orders, Lord Broshaw?”

Now it turned for Sharky to be the one who wished to hide under his cap as much as damn possible, not expecting for this fucking cowboy to play his game so excellently, cursing himself for telling him this silly nickname that he had felt Ben would be using now only to mock him. He cleared his throat to at least make sure his voice wouldn’t betray him while he tried his best to sound professional to show the other man that he _damn_ knew what he was doing, though truth was he had no idea of what the hell he was doing. “Uhh, gimme your map, will show ya where we can kick some more Peggie ass.”

Benjamin with a smile on his face handed him over the map, carefully listening to the other man’s plans as he started the engine to begin the craziest journey of his whole life.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading~!


	3. The Angry River

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Benjamin still doesn't know what to exactly do with the pyromaniac, the question if he should keep his company or not still haunting his mind. Though Sharky, as Ben himself realized, lives his own crazy life that not even the Deputy can interrupt.

Benjamin Deans, the Junior Deputy, whose mission became fighting in the name of Hope County, protecting people from the cult and eventually taking care of the Heralds to get to Joseph Seed, would never say that meeting this particular pyromaniac would make this mission so entertaining but at the same time _dangerous._

It’s been _only_ a couple of days and Sharky became more comfortable in Ben’s company, and this mouth of his was just never shutting up even when Ben told him to be quiet and to focus because enemies were ahead. He had already shared with the Deputy stories Ben had never heard anyone say, and he wondered deeply if any of them were actually true, though, with days passing and, as a result of this meeting the arsonist more and more, he realized that Sharky was the most insane person he had ever met.

Right now, as the sun was slowly setting, Ben was having a smoke, leaning lazily on a tree and looking over at the outpost that laid beneath, down the hill. He was trying to figure out the best approach, thinking about all the possibilities that would come with each of these methods he tried to analyze. None seemed quite safe considering that there were not many trees and bushes from his side where he—as tall as he was—could hide in case Peggies became aware of the fact that he was shooting them down from this particular spot. Any other case was the same, it all seemed just too dangerous and Ben started to wonder if they shouldn’t just give up for now and wait for the night to come.

Finishing the smoke, he picked up his sniper rifle that was placed leaning on the tree, and he extinguished the cigarette by throwing it on the ground to step on it, picking it up afterward. Stepping closer to the branch were Sharky was awaiting him, he laid his weapon beside and hid the used cigarette in his trash bag, while the other man was already finishing his beer, swallowing the liquid loudly and releasing a soft burp afterward.

It wasn’t safe here, they couldn’t just light up a fire when the darkness would eventually consume all the land, but at least they could have a little pause to chill out from their distressingly intensive few days.

“Hi homie, you done with them Peggies?” Sharky asked though he knew the Deputy had done nothing since from time to time he kept glancing over at the tree by which Ben quietly stood, and smoke was leaving his mouth each time the arsonist’s eyes were wandering towards him. It would be the first bigger outpost they would—or rather Ben would—attack and clean from those stupid Peggies that thought they could do whatever they wanted. The Deputy, sadly, preferred silent approaches for the enemies not to realize there is someone around that’s trying to take them down, even believing that once they were detected, their mission was in danger, which—of course—in Sharky’s opinion, wasn’t true. He was kinda bored with how Ben handled all those situations though he understood—and learned the hard way—that this was _his_ way so he obediently waited beside, watching Ben shoot from his sniper rifle, which was quite impressive.

“No, though I wish. They seem kind of aware that something must be off,” Ben sat beside him, though on the ground and not on the branch to use the fallen tree as a not so comfortable support for his back. Sharky, once Dep was settled, handed him over a bottle of beer and Ben smiled up at the pyromaniac, grateful that he had decided to share. He took the bottle from his hand to take a huge sip, and just the cold beer was already making him feel much better. Ben licked his lips after swallowing the fluid, looking blankly at the trees that stood in front of them. “I don’t think this is a wise idea for now. Maybe we should go on.”

“Uhh wh—why not? Ya got your rifle.”

“Yes, I know, just… I don’t feel like it. I rather relax with that beer in my hand.” Ben stated, looking up at the pyromaniac to again give him a smile because he knew very well that Sharky would not mind if they were lazy for a bit.

Sharky glanced over at Ben, squinting his eyes because he didn’t recognize this behavior of his. It was true that they didn’t know each other for a long time, both were yet having _a lot_ to learn about each other, though they were already slowly able to recognize some bigger or smaller things that were shaping their personalities. Like Sharky had noticed that the cowboy man wasn’t really pleased with what he was in a way _forced_ to accomplish as the Deputy here in Hope County. It became clear to him that Ben tried his best to avoid all fights as often as it was only possible, though yet he had to _kill_ in order to rescue innocent people and get back their homes. Also not to get killed himself.  

The arsonist had managed to only _once_ fight arm in arm together with Ben (not counting that one time when Ben shot from his sniper while Sharky was in the middle of a fight and the Trailer Park barbecue), showing him that he damn knew what he was doing and that he actually could be proper help in Dep’s mission to destroy Broseph and his little—not so little—cult army, but still Ben was rather planning all the approaches, making sure that Sharky was most of all safe.

Their first day together, on the day they actually met, was also the first day that Ben _yelled_ over at Sharky for the pyromaniac to calm down and for him to listen to his orders.

* * *

It was a quite unexpected attack. Peggies noticed them while they drove to one of the places the arsonist had recommended could need help the most. Ben silently ordered him to act as if they weren’t who they truly were, forcefully grabbing Sharky’s arm when he noticed that the man in the green hoodie tried to reach his shotgun that was lying on the back seat.

The tight grip startled him and he yelped while he locked his eyes for a second with Ben’s that shot him a warning glare indicating they shouldn’t show they are armed to make it easier to just sneak by. Sharky needed no more because the death stare that the Deputy just gave him was honestly enough for him to understand this man _knew_ things and could be dangerous if he only desired it.

Still, it was too late to properly avoid them since they appeared from behind the curve and one of those Peggies noticed their strange behavior and the way too obvious car Ben had stolen during his stay in Holland Valley. The white vehicle they used, in fact, had the Eden’s Gate cross but the number of bullet holes, that the front was gifted with by accident during the barbecue at the Trailer Park, must have increased the enemy’s awareness. Or, _well,_ maybe it was just their faces that caught their attention, though Ben tried to believe it was the car.

It was the driver who noticed those two freedom fighters, yelling loudly and forcefully turning his car to stop those sinners before they could escape, but Ben acted faster, his instinct did the job for him—the Deputy pulled up the handbrake while working on the gas pedal and turned the wheel to drift gracefully which avoided crashing into the other car that, by that motion Ben just performed, crashed into a tree.

“Fuck!” Sharky yelled through all the noises, and he couldn’t tell if this was because of the Peggies detecting them, even though they tried so damn hard to act normally, or because of how smoothly Ben just avoided crashing into them, drifting and doing a 180° turn. Before he could come to any realization of which situation made him loudly curse, he cursed again, because bullets out of nowhere were flying towards them.

Ben knew that he in a way fucked up by whatever he just performed because now they were facing the other car, and the enemies were aiming straight at them. Even though the car crashed into a tree it apparently hadn’t been dangerous enough for those Peggies to die, and those motherfuckers were now shooting at them as the Deputy instinctively put his hand on Sharky’s back, making both of them lean down so that they didn’t get shot.

The windshield shattered and pieces of glass fell all over them as they heard the enemies scream at them some babbling about atonement.

The pyromaniac was now nearly completely covered by Ben’s body and he was unsure about how to feel about that matter, and such closeness of another human was startling him to the point he forgot about the danger, though he honestly couldn’t tell if this wasn’t because of the fact that Ben had just protected him with his own _fucking_ body. When the glass scattered, all the noises harshly came back to his mind, waking his brain up. His hand slipped towards the back seat, and he grabbed the shotgun as he heard Ben already unlock his gun.

“Open the door, and hide behind it. Don’t _fucking_ stick out your head.” The Deputy ordered, though there was hearable nervousness in his voice as he loudly spoke. He moved over to open the door on his side to do what he hoped the pyromaniac would do as well because the shattered glass inside the car was scaring him that they might end up hurt before being shot.

Sharky didn’t even nod when he did exactly what Ben _forbid_ him to do, quickly straightening himself in his seat and shooting with his incendiary bullet, killing and putting the closest Peggie on fire. With that he basically kicked his door open, running out and yelling some more curses at the ones who had attacked them.

Horror was on the Deputy’s face as he heard first that one Peggie being set on fire, screams filling the whole scene, then seeing this crazy pyromaniac just run out of their car straight at the other two remaining enemies.

Since there was no more time to think about how to handle the situation best, he also left his safe cover and shot the closest Peggie, missing her head and shooting her right under her collarbone, and the enemy fell back before managing to shoot Sharky down.

The one remaining Peggie, the one Ben recognized as the one who detected them, was already burning as well as Ben sighed and finished him off with a shot to his head.

“Fuck, man. That was—that was like _hella_ close, but the drift you pulled there was damn _awesome_ ,” Approaching the still alive Peggie girl that was trying to stop the bleeding, though the bullet for sure had hit her artery, the woman praying silently for her life, Ben shortened her agony by shooting her right into her head. He hid his gun in his holster once he was sure that all those Peggies were dead and that they—the Deputy and Sharky—were relatively safe. “And like how ya _avoided_ that crash by that, like, _dude_ , am fuckin’ impressed.”

Ben had lost his hat by their car when he tried to cover behind the door, so his hair was now all over his face as Sharky finally glanced over at the cowboy that was turned with his profile to him. All that time the arsonist was staring at the yet burning body, and the flames were as always hypnotizing him and making his dick twitch a little, though when he saw Ben without his hat, well _that_ was new. The cowboy looked fierce, the sweat on his forehead gluing some of the curls to the skin and it was clear that he was breathing heavily, certainly from the sudden adrenaline rush. Suddenly he turned to give the pyromaniac a glare, and his left hand moved through his hair to brush the unwanted curls away from his eyes.

“I told you… to fucking _stand down_ behind cover!”

Ben spit each word at him, the fury he was storing behind worry to get rid of the danger, it lost its hold, being released with great force at the pyromaniac, while Sharky only stared at him wide-eyed, startled by the sudden outburst.

“Uhh… well I mean, it turned out pretty _neat_ in the end, like—like man, life with zero risks would be uh, _boring_ ,” The pyromaniac stuttered a bit but still tried to save the situation somewhat since nothing wrong happened even though he didn’t listen to Ben’s specific orders, which may have—obviously—angered the Deputy. “Sorry Dep, I, uh... not gonna lie, am pretty _direct_ in fights, and uhh… not the best in listenin’ to orders, I guess.”

The cowboy blinked a few times as he watched the other man stare at him and gulp loudly, and it was clear that Sharky was being quite unsure to what outcome this would lead them.

He was most of all afraid that the Deputy would happen to be unhappy with his company, with how he handled the situation and that he would order for him to go home which the arsonist seriously didn’t want to happen. _Fuck_. From all of things he truly didn’t want to lose, a friend that he had met barely today just because of the stupid action he just performed, disobeying a _fucking_ Deputy.

He watched Ben how he hanged his head, sighing heavily as if trying to calm down a little before speaking up, with his voice as serious as earlier, though not that loud, sounding less annoyed.

“You just… try not to do this again, Sharky, please, don’t be this reckless, otherwise, I would—”

 _Blame myself._ This is exactly why Ben shouldn’t be recruiting this man in the first place, the regrets of that he may get hurt because he had wanted his company was happening to haunt his mind even before the pyromaniac would get hurt. Ben didn’t dismiss both Nick and Grace to now run around with Sharky as if he meant nothing to him because truth was he cared about his well-being dearly and he didn’t want for this man to end up dead because Ben couldn’t just say _‘no’_ to him.

Another thing was that this man wasn’t careful, not even _trying_ to be, as Ben noticed. Sharky had run straight at those Peggies like on rampage, not caring about the flying bullets while the Deputy had been hiding, like a coward, behind the car’s door. Eventually, he had too left his safe spot to shoot those enemies down while the adrenaline had been making it easier for him to gather up courage to do so but still, the fact how much boldness the other man had shown was quite impressive, but at the same time scary.

Ben shouldn’t be blaming Sharky for his own demons haunting his mind, it was quite selfish he was yelling at the other man for his actions because mostly he cared about his _own_ mind that was afraid of the blame that would come with it, rather than being scared of the arsonist’s well-being in the first place.

It should be like this, Ben should be worried about the other man and his life, it fucking couldn't be more simple than that.

Scolding himself in his mind, he breathed to calm down a little, trying to figure out how to handle this awkward and nervous situation that rose between them. He already yelled at him, this couldn't be undone, but he _had_ to settle some things before shit would go terribly wrong.

If anything was here to blame, it’s Sharky's disobedience to his clear orders, not Sharky _himself._

“Ya _would_ what…?” The pyromaniac carefully asked as he stepped a little bit closer to have a much better look at his face, _finally_ , since the sun was now shining right at him because the hat was no more in the way.

The freckles he had already noticed earlier were now perfectly visible. The dark dots were all over his cheeks and nose, with some also being present on his forehead and chin, though it was clear that the beard of his was possibly covering part of them anyway.

_Shit, how did I only now notice he has a damn beard?_

Benjamin was gifted, so to say, with a soft beard that shaped his face into this strong and fierce appearance, possibly giving many the idea that he might have something to do with the cult but the smile that was usually widely spread on his face, was always softening his shapes. Not to mention all the freckles that made Ben appear softer than he would want to be.

“I just don't want you to disobey my orders for things not to end up way too fucked, and…” Ben carefully thought about what to say now. The way this man stared at him _again_ made his line of thoughts be interrupted, those blue eyes were just gazing at him in a way that made him think of something he shouldn't be thinking about, not right now, not here. He cleared his throat, smiling a little as he suddenly remembered what the other man had mentioned while they still had been at the Trailer Park. “...and I promise that we will get you some food.”

Sharky couldn't tell if the breath he just released was because his body was so tensed that he didn't realize he was holding a breath or because the other man was making jokes of him and he just attempted to laugh along with him, failing miserably by only exhaling.

He watched how Ben looked away with a smirk on his face, though his features yet indicated the man wasn't pleased with Sharky's actions. This only made the pyromaniac sure as heck believe that it was pretty easy to disappoint Ben, yet still, Dep couldn't and wasn't truly mad at him. That could be a dangerous combination if the man would truly lose his patience around Sharky, though still, he couldn't tell to what it would lead if this happened.

He honestly didn't want to find out.

“Hell yeah! And uh… promise to listen to ya, at least Imma try. Ain't a thing I like to do but since you're a Deputy then I guess I gotta try.” The arsonist with all his heart hoped that the man yet didn't see all the posters indicating that he was actually wanted for arson, and since Ben was a cop himself, he would have to take him to the jail, no doubt. _Fuck_. It wasn't a thing Sharky had thought about till now, though he already assumed that Ben had come to the barbecue to actually take him away, but since he hadn't… once he would get to see any information about Sharky being a criminal, then he _might._  

Ben nodded as an answer and walked over to the destroyed car, picking up his hat and placing it strategically on his head to hide most of his curls. Sharky watched him carefully do that, also walking over to the car, though the vehicle looked now quite useless, the windshield was gone, and some liquids were leaking out of it.

The Deputy opened the door to the back seat, reaching out to his sniper rifle and his backpack that was hidden under the seat.

“We are going to walk on foot, and maybe we will be lucky and find a new car or something…” Ben ordered while putting on the backpack, adjusting it properly so that he was comfortable, and checking the magazine of his rifle, preparing it just in case of need. Glancing over at the arsonist once he was ready, he smiled. “Now you may show me what you are capable of, Sharky. Still, try to listen to my _orders_.”

Sharky with those words loaded his shotgun with a huge smile on his face, and they walked into the woods, side by side, with Sharky's mouth not closing even for a second as he started to share all of the stories of his life, and Ben was listening to him with a smile on his face, commenting something from time to time, or murmuring to show the other man that he was listening.  

They didn’t find anything special on their way, besides an abandoned house where Sharky found his promised food. Even though the building was empty, Ben could feel a sting of guilt as they entered it, claiming whatever could be useful for their little journey. Ben was a Deputy, his honor was forbidding him to do whatever he was doing right now, and he nearly stopped Sharky before the man opened the door, later also going through all the stocks of food, parting it so that both could get enough to fill their stomachs. Ben hesitantly yet gladly accepted his portion, though still left what could be stored for later in order not to be hungry during their way. Though he had a feeling it would still be Sharky who would be hungry first.  

The pyromaniac also found a few bottles of beer, beaming that in the evening they could have a little ‘welcome’ party, and with _welcome_ he meant that they could just celebrate the fact that they had met. Sharky most of all believed that the coincidence that they actually met would for sure lead them to something much bigger, greater.

The Deputy laughed at his ideas, yet didn't say a thing when Sharky packed the alcohol. Ben also found a few letters someone had left, saying that they had been leaving and never coming back which made him feel at ease that whatever they took would be more at use for them than for anyone else.

The rest of the day was calm, they continued to wander, avoiding the main road as much as possible and hiding in the forest until they found another car with some Peggies nearby. Ben smirked at the thought he could steal it, leaving the enemies with nothing, yet his Deputy-self was yelling at him that he had done enough of crimes today, that he shouldn't, that it was wrong, that…

“Hey uh… can we—can I shoot ‘em?” Ben heard the other man say while they were hiding in the bushes near the completely empty car, and the two Peggies were occupied with a sign on the road, decorating it with Bliss.

The Deputy wanted to just run up to the car, start the engine and escape, yet he knew this wouldn't be so simple since he was certain the enemies hadn't left the keys inside, so Ben would be forced to try and start it differently, which would obviously require time he wouldn't have if he did that.

Sharky's proposition wasn't that stupid, though he would rather use his sniper rifle to take them down, still, even though he had already seen the arsonist's style, he wanted to see more. It was unusual for him to see someone so willing to just run up to the enemies only to set them on fire with nothing but his shotgun, and even though Ben feared that Sharky might end up hurt or that this was plainly suicidal… the Deputy was here, he would back him up in case something went wrong.  

“Alright, Sharky. Show me your skills,” He whispered back while he prepared his sniper rifle as Sharky's eyes literally lit up, little flames dancing in them. “Just, be careful, please, and don't get yourself killed.”

“Dyin’ ain’t on today’s menu, Dep. Let the _Boshow_ begin!”  

With this the arsonist swiftly ran up to the enemies, setting one of them on fire before the other had even noticed that his friend started to burn out of nothing. The sudden outburst, scream and the hotness coming from the cult girl's companion made her jump away, only for her to be shot down as well and her body was being consumed by the fire that made the pyromaniac yell into the air as he felt his dick grow hard. _Fuck_. There it was again, the beautiful flames making him hella horny.

Benjamin watched all that, his rifle aimed just in case, but the pyromaniac handled the situation so well that he left his cover with a satisfied smile on his face.

He patted Sharky on his shoulder, the little touch startled the other man a little, unsure of what Ben meant by that but when he looked into his eyes he saw… relief, maybe? He couldn't tell, _fuck,_ he actually wished that he was able to read his behavior because the tension became _real_ after he had disobeyed him during the attack. Though now he didn't do anything against his words, he believed.

Unbreakable truth was that he wasn't really the best to follow any rules, especially orders, but at the same time, as it happened right now, it seemed best to actually _listen_ to the Deputy as he seemed to know what the heck he was doing. At least, he thought, to listen to what Ben proposed and what might have—or might not have—something to do with Sharky's actual safety.

Ben commended him, and Sharky could feel pride rising within him.

After that, they got into the car with satisfied smiles and continued their journey, not meeting any trouble until the next day.

They slept in the car, as both thought it would be best since they couldn't find any safe place on their way, so the car was hidden deep in a forest. Ben left the window a little open to make sure he would hear any footsteps before any enemies approached them to blow them up or simply kill them in their sleep.

Ben woke up a few times, quite harshly, dreaming about his companion getting hurt, and the Deputy was the one who accidentally shot him in his dream.

At some point he decided not to sleep anymore, seeing that the sun from afar was already slowly rising.

He looked over at the deep in sleep figure, a curled up together Sharky that looked more peaceful than ever while in slumber. He fell asleep with his cap, his current position making it lopsidedly lie on his head, and thanks to that the Deputy was able to see more of his brown, messy hair.

A sudden urge awoke in him to take the cap away and to ruffle his hair but God, he couldn't just do that to a man he yet couldn't tell if he could even name him his _friend._

Looking away to what lied before him, he thought about all of this. About why he actually had decided to have Sharky around and why he wasn't feeling that willing to let him leave. Honestly said, he did want to inform him that they should part, that Sharky could go home, even though he was sure this would be for the best to still let him be around. Now again was he contemplating this idea, believing this man wasn't suitable for his fighting style, rushing to attack all the enemies and not caring about any dangers coming from that and in the end setting people on fire, watching them burn while yelling loudly into the air. Truth was that Ben found it impressive and in a way entertaining, he couldn't even deny it.

_What is even my problem?_

The more he thought about it, the more he saw that whenever he was thinking about any arguments against having Sharky around, his mind was unconsciously giving him images of Ben being just _happy_ , smiling along with the pyromaniac as they together, hand in hand, had burned angels at the Trailer Park. He couldn't even remember the last time he was this chill, at the same time adrenaline had been rushing him forward.

Boshaw was _fucking_ crazy, and Deans was easily affected by that.

He could—even _should_ —continue the journey on his own, and guilt was nearly eating him alive as he thought about Sharky staying, yet he had decided not to dismiss him. For now.

Ben, while thinking about all this, was again unconsciously smiling, and when Sharky woke up, the smile got only bigger.

The plan for the present day seemed quite easy. They were about to take down a few Peggies near a Bliss field, also to destroy their stocks that were loaded on a truck along with one car that played this horrific music to lure in more Angels. The Deputy decided to take down the Peggies, one by one, trying to work so that the others didn't notice that one of them was suddenly down while Sharky was about to, as silently as possible, approach the truck to set it on fire, maybe throw a grenade at the other car, and to run back to Dep as Ben made sure nobody shoots him.

This was only the plan, but once they reached the field, Ben was overwhelmed.

He had felt and smelled the Bliss before, mostly because of how John had handled him, throwing him into water filled with that damn thing, but this seemed different, much more powerful.

The flowers were nearly everywhere, and the smell was attacking his nose, also his mind and senses, the Bliss was violating him so badly and so suddenly he could feel his legs weaken. Gladly, there was a tree close to him, to which he stumbled over, afraid he might fall if he didn't support himself.

Suddenly, stillness came. Such an eerie feeling of something calm, something that he wanted to embrace. He didn't remember John's Bliss be this powerful, and now he totally let this feeling consume him. This calming silence, the silent calmness.

 _Faith_.

“Ben, _holy shit,_ you scared the shit outta me.”

A voice from afar, yet from very close woke him up from whatever state he was currently in, and the Deputy was staring at the man that was supporting him and helping him slide down to sit on the ground, which Ben greatly appreciated, whispering him some thanks and assurances that he was okay.

Sharky wasn’t looking in Ben's direction when the man was barely able to stand on his own, the arsonist noticed that something was wrong the moment he realized Ben wasn't listening to his bullshit. Not that _anyone_ was ever listening to his bullshit, just that with the Deputy it was kinda suspicious since Sharky had already noticed that he had always been in a way commenting whatever he said, or at least releasing a sound to indicate Ben had been listening in amusement.

Now that he was silent, way too silent to Sharky's liking, the pyromaniac looked over at the place where he thought Ben would be standing, and he surprisingly noticed that he wasn't there. This scared him to the point he actually, for a few seconds, believed this man just abandoned him in the middle of nowhere, Sharky again would become alone in such a horrible way.

Suddenly— _thank Hurk's Monkey King_ —he noticed him, this giant cowboy man was just clutching to the tree in the shadows it cast. His eyes were empty, staring blankly at nothing.

Sharky immediately ran up to him, unsure of what was actually happening to the other man, but then the smells hit him as well, and, as he had been quite used to it, he didn't react to it in the same way as the Deputy did.

“Bro, come on, let's get ya outta here, Bliss can fuck up your mind if ya stay here for too damn long.” The pyromaniac spoke, though Ben was already on the ground, looking now up at the redneck's face.

What Sharky saw on his face, man, it wasn't what he had expected to see at all. Ben was damn scared, first of all, secondly, he was _damn_ dead ass tired which he only noticed now. They were forced to be on feet again because in the morning, as they had started to drive, the vehicle had basically died. Sharky wasn't a specialist, yet he had looked upon the engine only to see that the car had been at its worst days already and that they were actually lucky it had only stopped in the middle of the road, not blow up on the first occasion.

So they walked, and walked, and walked. Sharky himself had enough at some point, begging the Deputy for a little pause and only then Ben actually stopped to sit down with him. They ate what Ben had left yesterday, handing over the pyromaniac the bigger portion, and himself he mostly filled his stomach with water. The beer wasn't touched yet, they had been about to drink it the previous evening but they had stopped the car when it had been around two in the morning so they had not been in the mood anymore.

It wasn't only the Bliss that had affected the man so badly, it was the fact he just hadn't taken care of himself properly, now the tiredness and perhaps even hunger made Ben be nearly completely vulnerable to the Bliss’ effect.

“Come on, big man, stand up. Will help ya, _promise._ ” His voice betrayed him a little, oh, great, how fitting it was to sound like a damn pussy in such a moment.

The arsonist couldn't tell if Ben obeyed because he truly wanted to leave this horrific place or because the Bliss had fucked him up so bad that he would listen to whatever Sharky would tell him. Still, he was glad that Ben somewhat managed to stand up, supporting his weight on both Sharky and the tree, trying his best not to lose balance. He breathed harshly a few times, staring like a crazy man into the pyromaniac's blue eyes.

“No, we have to… we have to burn the field. Otherwise, every fucking time I come here I will be like… like _this_.” Ben managed to speak, though his voice wasn't really as strict as it had used to be when he had been giving his orders. Yet, he tried to sound like someone with authority, like someone who the pyromaniac should listen to but he knew already that Sharky Boshaw wasn't a man who liked to listen to orders at all. Thus the pyromaniac slowly forced the Deputy to the other side of the forest, far from the field to at least take a little break before they go on.

Ben—even though the Bliss was yet doing shit out of his brain—realized that he was being carried away from the goal of their mission, and he lightly pushed the arsonist away, still nearly making him fall.

“Did you _not_ hear me?! We have to fucking _go_ and destroy that field, Sharky. We _must!_ ” Ben wasn't a man that was used to giving orders himself, but as a Deputy, as a man of law, he hated disobedience dearly, and Sharky happened to be a damn definition of that.

“Woah, _fuck_ dude, calm the hell down, we ain't goin’ anywhere when ya barely standin’ on your legs, Dep.”

“Listen, Charlemagne Boshaw, I say that we do this now, and we damn do this. Right. _Now_.”

Sharky felt shivers go through all of his damn body as he heard the other man speak up his full name. It sounded so special on the Deputy's lips, so different, yet so natural. There weren't many people who called him this. Actually, there were nearly _none_ who used this variant of his name even in situations like this one, so the fact that Ben just did it startled him but also embarrassed him—as he believed—as he felt sudden hotness on his cheeks.

Another thing was that because Ben had just said his full name, Sharky couldn't simply say ‘no’ to that, it was too much, yet he had to somewhat try to solve the situation differently.  _Try_ to.

“Okay, okay. Listen, but dude, fuckin’ _listen_ for once.” He again approached the Deputy because the Deputy was already attending to walk back to the tree where he must have left his sniper rifle—Ben was not even able to remember _when_ he had let go of it.

Sharky stopped him by putting both of his hands on his chest, and the tensed muscles underneath the cloth were way too fucking perceptible under his fingertips. _Fuck._ Ben's voice saying his full name was still ringing in his head, and now he could feel that this man, this fucking cowboy man—that had just looked down at him, and Sharky unconsciously locked his eyes with his—had a damn impressively shaped chest, and the muscles were so hard he would easily break his bones on them if he decided to punch the Deputy back to reason. _Shit_.

“I uh… Listen, I’ll go there on my own, and uhh… burn them Peggies and their Bliss, okay? I mean…” Sharky tried to speak up with his hands yet on the other man's chest which was way too distracting for the pyromaniac to form a properly sounding sentence since his voice became suddenly so _stutterish_ he couldn't believe it. _I wonder if he has freckles on his chest too,_ he thought, quickly glancing over at his hands that looked so ridiculously tiny while resting on Ben's body. “Ya wait here while I take care of that, Dep. Ya uhh, ya don't fuckin’ dare to move.”

Benjamin looked down at the crazy man that put his hands on his chest in order to stop him. He could easily just push him away, maybe even fight his way out of this ridiculous grip but all he did was _stare._ He could see how Sharky’s expression changed, how that little blush that had appeared colored his face and which he could see even though the cap was covering most of his face. The other thing that made him not push Sharky away was this silence that fell between them when Sharky was most of all thinking about Ben’s freckles.

“Okay, just… come back in one piece.” Ben was surprised himself that his mouth just spoke up those words and not something completely else, because deep inside he didn’t want this man to go there on his own, but he unconsciously was scared of what would happen if Ben was completely overtaken by the Bliss’ hold.

He honestly didn’t want to know.  

Ben sat on the ground by another tree far from the field, trying to restrain himself while Sharky walked away to grab his shotgun that he left beside the tree where also Ben’s sniper rifle was lying, gently picking it up and putting the Deputy’s weapon against the tree so that it was not forgotten by him later. He hesitantly, yet determined, and with a huge smirk on his face went to destroy the truck, killing with the explosion a few Peggies that stood nearby. After that, he rapidly set an Angel on fire while the other approached him way too fast to react in an appropriate way, a sudden shot into their head made the enemy fall just before they attacked Sharky.

The pyromaniac looked around, seeing Ben aiming his sniper rifle in his direction. It angered him a bit that the fucking Deputy didn’t just stand down and wait there for him, again coming close to the field and by that putting himself and his brain in danger.

Once the area was clear, Sharky again with a huge smile spread on his face, set the growing flowers on fire, later watching the flames consume all of the drug plants while he heard the Deputy silently approaching him. He was deep in admiration of how quickly the fire was burning down whatever laid on its way, the smoke, that the plants meeting the warm element were making, filled the whole sky, coloring it and making it appear as if a thunderstorm was about to strike. Only after a long while he turned to look at the Deputy, now—thankfully—seeming more awake and alive.

“Dude told ya to wait there for me!” Sharky snapped, though he couldn’t deny that he was thankful that the other man shot that Angel before they got him, and he could bet that his eyes were showing that he was damn glad about that simple fact. “Your brain could melt, ya know that this damn Bliss and that blonde, gorgeous, and tempting woman Faith are fuckin’ dangerous!”

Ben only smiled, then laughed and looked down, and the hat was covering most of his face, just not this fucking killer _smile_. Looking up again, Sharky noticed how he bit his lip trying to—perhaps—stop smiling so fucking badly, but it was clear that the Deputy had problems with that. The pyromaniac stared at him with pure confusion on his face, and a slight blush was covering his cheeks because fucking _hell_ , this man’s smile would stop all of the cultists and Joseph Seed himself for sure.

He kept glancing at the Deputy, and he nearly felt bad with it, at the same time feeling quite unsure and nervous about why the other man actually laughed at what he had just said.

“Sharky… you sound just like _me,"_ Ben confessed, and the pyromaniac suddenly remembered how barely yesterday it had been the Deputy who had been mad at him for not listening to the clear orders, and right now Sharky was yelling at the cowboy man for doing exactly the same. The sheer thought of that, the realization that he had just basically fallen into a damn trap made his blush only deepen. Sharky forced himself to look away, laughing awkwardly to somewhat ease the tension that just rose within him. _Fuck._ “But you did well, we both did. Though… we better avoid Bliss fields for now. Come on, let’s go.”

So they continued their journey, and Ben was trying to avoid Peggies but mostly he was being forced to actually kill some more Peggies with his sniper rifle while Sharky quietly watched him until night fell upon Henbane River. Only then the two of them luckily found people from the Resistance that offered them a place to stay, a cozy lodge, which they accepted, even though Ben was a little hesitant. They could finally sleep in some proper conditions, Ben in the next morning helped those good people deal with whatever they needed help with, until both left, bidding them goodbyes and wishing best luck.

The pyromaniac and the Deputy weren’t lucky though, finding nothing interesting on their way, besides some more Peggies they—again—either avoided or were forced to strike down, finding at some point a proper looking car to get faster to the outpost that they were about to retake.

Right now, a couple of days later, they were sitting, Sharky on the branch, Ben on the ground, both sipping beer in peace. Ben remembered all these moments he had shared thus far with the arsonist. He realized, only now, how actually tiring those few days had been, how much work he had done, and how much he actually deserved to rest with a beer in his hand, sitting beside a man he could easily call his _friend_ now, a companion that would jump into the damn flames he alone created only to help the Deputy, which Sharky actually kind of had done.

Ben still was hesitant if he had done well offering Sharky to work with him since his company was giving Ben nightmares at night and he was feeling incredibly guilty in the morning, but he couldn’t deny that he knew how to handle some situations and that Sharky most of all knew how to defend himself. He knew it would be best if he offered Sharky a trip home, ending their little adventure, but Ben wouldn't be where he was right now if it hadn't been for the arsonist, sitting now happily and enjoying the evening, while Sharky was again deep in another monologue that Benjamin excitingly commented, the night was falling upon the land and Ben forgot about the outpost nearly completely.

Benjamin couldn’t even lie anymore. The pyromaniac became the best definition of entertainment he had ever met in his whole damn life, these two became a team with Sharky happening to be the companion that surprisingly suited Ben better than any other person ever had.

And most importantly—they became friends.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading, my wonderful peeps!
> 
> \+ again huge thanks to my AMAZING beta reader and my LOVELY space babe who pushed me forward to finish this chapter.


	4. Catching Fire

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Benjamin can't keep it quiet to himself anymore.

“So basically your cousin, this Hurk, he was already everywhere, yeah?”

“Ya bet! He is so fuckin’ cool dude like he was even some kinda warrior blessed by uh… Rakija… or Rakkoons... I dunno, fuck. Somethin’ like that.”

Ben laughed, hardly able to believe Sharky, yet he found his stories about his cousin and himself fascinating, he was even somewhat encouraging his friend to speak more about his own crazy ideas or his cousin's adventures. All of these stories had this specific bizarre feeling, the same thing he could easily sense in the pyromaniac from over a thousand miles. Wondering if this cousin of his was just as crazy, though it seemed from all these stories that he was insanely close to Sharky with that, he imagined those two doing literally anything, and mostly, as an outcome, he saw the world on fire.

They were gathering their possessions; Ben was packing all the half-full and empty bottles, food containers, putting also the trash into his backpack, in the end picking up his sniper rifle while Sharky, in the meantime, was taking care of the bonfire, putting it off by stepping on the lightly burning twigs. The night was at its best. The light of the moon and stars was brightening up the land and the soft sounds of nature that was every time waking up during darkness, making the whole scene appear more serene as Ben looked up into the sky with a silent prayer on his lips.

He had often been praying, though he had been aware of the fact that survival wasn't something he could ask God for. It was a thing he needed to take care of on his own, knowing well that He wouldn’t help him during the way He alone already had chosen for him, no matter how often and how much he would beg. He stopped to ask God for any direct aid, he had used to do that as a child, later as a teen, even as an already grown up man, yet God had never made any of his sufferings easier, and, at some point, he had realized that praying for any kind of help was useless.

Yet he still prayed. Though not for himself, but for the people he had to kill, and for those that already had died from his bullets.   

They were about to sleep in the car, again. Ben had to pull over because he could feel that any minute longer before the wheel and he would fall asleep, and since no houses were in close sight, he drove into the forest to hide there. When Ben turned the engine off, Sharky decided they should eat what they had found earlier and drink the rest of the beer they had, and thus they started a small bonfire—much to Ben's dislike—preparing some warm and surprisingly tasty sausages that Sharky had decided to sneak out of some house. Legally, of course.

Once they were ready gathering all their goods, they wandered towards their parked car, putting everything onto the backseat, and Ben, as always, sat behind the wheel. He started the engine while Sharky, with a satisfied groan, made himself comfy on the passenger seat, propping one leg on the dashboard and adjusting the cap on his head so it covered now most of his face. The Deputy tried to mess with the radio, trying to find a station more suitable for himself, and not to make Joseph's religious music fill the vehicle, though he couldn't deny, those tunes weren’t the worst.

Sharky was already used to this little ritual. They had to sleep in the car quite frequently after days full of shootings and running away, and Ben always insisted on putting on a bit of the heating before they would decide to fall asleep since mostly they were entering the cold car waiting for them. Sharky couldn't even deny that fact because he was shivering and making a loud ‘brrr’ sound with his mouth whenever they safely entered the vehicle. The Deputy always laughed, feeling—of course—the cold himself, and thus this small habit of giving them both comfort before falling into slumber started to exist.

Ben put on the music not to sit in complete silence as he glanced over at Sharky, seeing that this man was actually ready to be consumed by dreams, yet he still could without any doubt tell that the pyromaniac wasn't close to that because his fingers were furiously tapping on his own arm that he tightly held. The Deputy cleared his throat loudly and gathered up thoughts.

“So… where is this cousin of yours now?”

Sharky jumped a little because the voice of the cowboy startled him. “Hurk? Uh, should be home. Ya know... _there_ where my uncle lives—I mean, my ex-uncle.”

Ben took this under consideration while he hoped, truly hoped, that nobody heard the engine now steadily roaring in the dark forest, and he wished for no fucking Peggies to come to check on that noise. He still left the car running only to warm it up a bit and to make sure that it would be not too cold and unpleasant for Sharky, but it was always a dangerous thing to do since they were about to sleep and be at their mercy. Benjamin yearned he packed a blanket while they had been at that outpost because he could tell that the arsonist, even though wearing a hoodie all the time, was freezing during nights.

“And where is this _there_ where your ex-uncle lives?” He reached towards his backpack while he asked that question, seeing Sharky pout a little that Ben decided right now, as he was about to fall asleep any time soon, to have a talk about his damn cousin.

“Uhh… at Fort Drubman in the Whitetail Mountains, north from here.”

Shuffling around, Ben with his long arm finally reached to his backpack to open it and to take out the bag with some clothes inside. He took out one of his flannels of which fabric was thicker and much softer, and he covered the other man with it. Sharky mumbled something about him being okay and not needing the provisional blanket but he still accepted it, hiding even his mouth underneath it so that right now his whole face was nearly completely hidden.

Ben smiled at that adorable sight, and with this, he turned the engine off which made his soul finally be at ease that nobody would hear the noisy car. He could feel that the tiredness was slowly taking over his mind and body, and the sudden silence that fell upon the vehicle made his eyes become heavy. Yet he still wanted to end their conversation somewhat, and to make sure they have proper plans for the upcoming day, which they had not.

“Okay, good. What would you say if we paid him a visit, huh?”

Sharky, as comfortable as he already was, with his eyes closed and his body curled up together while he was doing his best to use Ben’s shirt as a blanket, right now nearly jumped on his seat, startling the other man by accident.

“Dude, _shit,_ ya’d make my fuckin’ life if we did! Didn't see my cuz in a damn long while.”

The Deputy chuckled at the sudden outburst of pure happiness as the other man started to babble about all the craziness related to himself and his cousin again. Ben was honestly glad to see how cheerful Sharky was becoming when he could talk about himself—or just simply overall _talk_ —and a wide smile was always appearing on Ben’s face at the simplest positive change of humor in the pyromaniac.

At some point, Sharky finally went quiet, and he cast the Deputy a glance because he at once realized how much he had babbled, and thus he mumbled a silent ‘sorry’.

“Don’t be. It is decided then… our next target—Fort Drubman, but now we sleep.” Benjamin exclaimed while he took off his hat, putting it on the dashboard. Then he made himself comfortable on the seat as he heard Sharky shuffle on his own place too.

Ben leaned his head to the side, studying the small figure next to him that was hidden underneath Ben’s own shirt, smiling again at how cozy the pyromaniac looked even though the place in which they slept wasn't of the best quality.

Again, nostalgy hit him from barely a couple of days ago as he had remembered how they finally had taken care of that outpost that Benjamin had been about to retake anyway. As they had cleared it, as they had made sure it was again safe, both had gotten their well-deserved rest in one of the buildings there, both becoming their own rooms and bathrooms where they finally could properly wash and sleep. The Deputy had slept for so long he couldn't believe in it, nevertheless, he still had been waking up often because of some noises he could hear from afar. Sharky’s sleep hadn’t been as intermittent as the Deputy's sleep had, thus he had slept shorter, and had been way more well-rested than Ben in the morning—which actually had happened to be an afternoon. Later as a reward, they had taken a car the Peggies had left and they continued their way, taking care of some trucks filled with Bliss, also taking down a couple of Angels and Peggies that had interrupted their journey until they had happened to be where they were right now, trying to sleep in a damn car.

Ben couldn't tell when he had fallen asleep when he harshly woke up during the night, seeing that the sun was slowly rising, though it was yet dark enough that he could tell it was perhaps 4 in the morning.

He had dreamed about something from long ago, about something that he had wished to forget about, this unbearable pain his father had left on him while Ben had been still but a child. The Deputy unconsciously touched the place on his right forearm where a burn scar from a cigarette used to be, today completely faded.

Staring idly at the trees before him, he suddenly heard something or someone move not far from where their car was currently parked. Ben, of course, assumed the worst as he reached to his holster to get out his gun as he glanced between all the trees and leaves, waiting for the enemy to reveal themselves.

He opened the window from his side, careful not to make too much noise by that motion, and he stuck out his left arm to aim the gun as he heard the shuffling along with his own heartbeat be louder with each second.

Suddenly, a tired and half-asleep Sharky went out of the bushes, and Ben released a relieved but tired sigh as he quickly proceeded to hide the gun, though the pyromaniac in time noticed the awake Deputy that was moving in the vehicle in an attend to hide his weapon.

“A wild Boshaw appeared, a _dangerous_ creature, I assure ya,” He cast Ben a shit-eating grin as he approached the car and only now Benjamin noticed that he had left the passenger’s door a little open, perhaps not to wake the Deputy up with the sound of closing it. “Went to take a dump, didn't want to wake ya up, ya know.”

Ben was actually surprised at how quiet Sharky had managed to act that he hadn’t heard the pyromaniac, first of all, open the door, and secondly, to slide out of the vehicle to later also walk towards some bushes without waking the Deputy up. Or, what he considered as a way worse option, is that he had slept so hard he simply hadn’t heard anything until, basically, too late.

The mere thought of that the Deputy could let them die just because he wouldn't hear the enemy approach them was scaring him to the point he knew he wouldn't sleep anymore today, at least not in this car and not in this exact place in the woods. This was just impossible, he usually was waking up at the slightest sound because his sleep was light enough that he didn't have to worry about anyone surprising him, but right now, he didn’t know anymore.

Waiting for Sharky to again seat himself, Ben noticed how the man was shaking subtly as he tried his best to again warm himself up beneath the shirt that worked as his blanket. The Deputy himself could feel right now that the Spring's usual cold nights were being here in Hope County at their best, giving him shivers as well.

He turned the key, and the engine roared in the dark and silent forest while Sharky cast him a confused glance, unsure of what the _heck_ the Deputy was trying to achieve now.

“I already told ya I’m okay bro, ya don’t need to put on the heatin’ again.”

Ben smiled, ignoring that statement as he put the reverse gear and pressed the gas pedal, thus the car slowly moved backward out of their hidden spot between the huge trees and bushes.

“What're ya… Dude, I wanna sleep some more it's way too—”

“Then sleep if you can, I just… I am feeling awake enough to find us a lodge or something, I’m done with sleeping here.”

Sharky crawled out of his blanket into a more suitable position to look around as the Deputy reached the road, unsure if this was a good idea to move on while both—for fucking sure—were yet way too sleepy to eventually deal with anything Peggie related if such an unwanted situation occurred. Not that his whole being wasn’t the perfect definition of bad ideas and not that he actually wasn’t the main reason they often had to fight back even though it could be dealt less noisy, bloody and... _fiery,_ but since the Deputy was now the one to have this bizarre idea, he was fucking worried.

“Ya sure? I mean, that's cool but uhh, but m’fine with the car, ya know. It's pretty comfy, and uhh.. _warm.”_ Sharky was incredibly grateful for that the other man had thought about covering him even though he actually pulled a face about that, feeling as if the other man had judged him as weak and as someone that needed care. Fuck. In a way he enjoyed that, suddenly having someone who was first of all his one and only friend, and secondly, he had now someone who was just watching over him, making sure Sharky was okay. He couldn't even deny that he would be actually dead without Ben at his side, this man just carrying in his backpack everything they both—mostly Sharky—needed.

After the day when Ben had nearly passed out because of exhaustion and the closeness of Bliss, Sharky had noticed how much pressure he was putting on the Deputy without even really realizing that. Ben, when they hadn't had a car, had had to carry the heavy backpack into which Sharky even put a few bottles of beer not even asking the other man if he could. Ben had been also constantly carrying his heavy sniper rifle while Sharky had been wandering only with his shotgun in his hand. No wonder, as it finally hit the pyromaniac after that incident, that Ben was so fucking exhausted that the Bliss had fucked with his mind so bad, but since then when needed, the redneck was offering his own back to carry the heavy belongings of theirs.

Right now the Deputy was once again doing it, pushing himself to the point when Sharky was scared that Ben might just overwork himself, fucking die out of tiredness or simply not even notice that someone shot him until it's too late.

“I know, but I don't feel safe here anymore so we have to move. Besides, don't lie to me, you are freezing.”

“I ain't that cold, I swear! And it ain’t damn winter anymore, I'm seriously—dude just, fuckin’ pull the car over, ya gotta be fuckin’ kiddin’ me!”

Sharky kept furiously babbling and cursing about how much he didn't believe in the shit the Deputy was just performing, reaching towards his shotgun and by the way throwing the shirt that Ben covered him with onto the back seat to use the weapon in case enemies spotted them, but before he even properly loaded his weapon, Ben slowed down and actually did what the arsonist wanted for him to do, though when he looked at what laid before them, he could see a small wooden lodge from afar.

“Let's just hope it's empty.” Was all Ben said as he parked the park pretty much far from the building. He turned the engine off, dressing up his hat as he exited the car to grab the backpack and his rifle that both were put on the backseat—also packing the flannel before leaving the car. He rushed Sharky who was way too focused on that little building that was hidden between the looming trees, mumbling a ‘yeah’ as he as well left their vehicle, obediently following Ben.

Since the Boshaw style wasn't what Ben would call silent at all, he whispered to him to at least try to keep it quiet and to do it as silently as possible because if any enemies were inside, they must be sleeping. The best approach would be to surprise them and to take them down while they would be deep in sleep, but Sharky had never liked and enjoyed this kind of ways to kill Peggies that just all deserved to be burned down, together with the house. Twice. Yet the Deputy had a point that he respected. If they managed to handle this exactly like ninjas would, then no blood—at least not theirs—would be spilled.

“Yeah, sure thing man, we are like Bond, like uhh… some kinda _Mission_ _Impossibro_... or like ya know, this Hitman that gotta—”

_“Sharky_.” The redneck kept babbling while they were already close enough to the wooden cottage so Ben warned this man that he was acting just too loud merely with how the pyromaniac loudly breathed. Sighing, Ben knew that if anyone was inside, they would be aware of their presence by now, thus he took out the gun out of his holster in case the enemies would now want to try to outsmart them. He noticed the slightly open door, though the locks seemed undamaged, still, the Deputy glanced through the window to see if there was anything that would indicate someone was hiding inside. He was already damn sure the lodge was completely abandoned, yet he remained relatively cautious in case he was wrong.

“Yeah, yeah dude. I know. We gotta work silent. As silent as Hurk would be if he started to watch lesbian—”

_“God have mercy…_ you're infuriating, you know?.” Ben laughed, nudging the other man with his elbow in a joking manner. This redneck just kept acting so reckless, so out of control and _so_ unpredictable that the Deputy couldn't help himself but smile whenever Sharky was doing the complete opposite of what Ben would do in situations like this one. It was driving him insane, but at the same time it amused him to the point he just wanted to grab the arsonist by his shoulders to shake reason into this insane mind of his, simultaneously himself laughing like crazy because he couldn't deny it anymore, he enjoyed the way how Sharky behaved when he would basically shit himself from fear that something could simply go wrong.

He was seriously jealous of how chill Sharky usually was.

“Ain’t gonna lie, this is the only thing I'm good at, amigo. Makin’ people angry.” The pyromaniac whispered, and his stance was still indicating that he was deep in concentration to make this silent approach work out in the best way possible, but Ben, as he had noticed the other man’s focused expression, couldn't stop himself, and his sweet laugh filled the whole area.

Fuck. Whenever Ben laughed Sharky tried hard to prevent his face from casting a smirk of satisfaction because this sound was just so fucking pleasant that he couldn't believe that he himself was—mostly—the cause of Ben's laughs. Right now he nearly immediately looked down because the Deputy just stared right at him, and the smile that was spread on his face was causing for his freckles, even though it was quite dark, to appear much more visible, a sight that was making Sharky’s face go unbelievably hot, though he couldn’t tell why exactly this was happening to him and why would the dark dots on the other man's face be the cause of that.

_“Infuriating_.” Ben slowly repeated as he pushed the door open, aiming the gun and slowly stepping inside, going now completely silent. If the enemies were inside, they would for sure be now in complete confusion since they for sure could hear the Deputy's laugh, but he had assumed, positively, that nobody was inside. He put his sniper rifle by the wall, feeling now much more movable as he walked to check the bedroom, ordering Sharky with just a nod to go check the bathroom.

“As empty as my balls after a good fuck… which makes me remember that uhh… will be right back, Dep, gotta jerk off.” Was all the pyromaniac exclaimed as he locked himself in there, and, by all means, Ben was glad that he at least had closed the door, shaking his head because he just couldn't believe that Sharky was sharing with him such personal info.

While the redneck was deep in work, Ben first of all hid the gun in his holster, then stepped over to the kitchen that was connected to the living room, leaving the backpack by the sofa. He shuffled around all the cupboards, searching for anything edible and useful. Most of the jars and cans were looking quite appealing which he prepared to pack into their bag, and some of them he parted to prepare in the morning as breakfast, minding that Sharky loved to eat right after waking up. Ben also found a few bottles of water along with some juices though they sadly seemed to be expired.

While he was going through all the food he found, checking the envelopes to make sure all was yet edible, Sharky left the bathroom with a satisfied sigh while still working on his belt. Ben didn't even cast him a glance while the other man approached him, looking at what the Deputy was doing and noticing the many food containers.  

“Gonna take the sofa to sleep a lil more.” Sharky announced and the cowboy finally looked over at him, and the number of freckles as always startled the pyromaniac, and something within him yelled at him that he at this point should be used to the friendly and dark dots on this even more sympathetic, pale face. Especially that it happened again in such a short amount of time.

Suddenly he had noticed that Ben's lips moved, and thus he realized that the man just spoke to him and he didn’t listen. _Fuck._ From all of moments Sharky wished he would pay more attention to anything around him, this was the moment he greatly regretted, hating to death the fact that the cheeks and freckles of this fucking man made him be so distracted. “Uh, what?” He mumbled, pulling the most stupid face.

“You hate listening to me, huh?”

“Yeah _—fuck I mean,_ fuck, no,” The pyromaniac could swear that Ben for sure too heard the facepalm he had just mentally performed, fucking up every damn important conversation he had with this cowboy man. He wished he had had better social skills he could use right now, believing deeply that he would feel much better and way more manly around this walking definition of handsomeness and manliness. “I mean, I just... _yeah fine,_ I didn't listen to ya, bro.”

Ben looked away and laughed. “I said that you can take the bed, I will be fine with the sofa.”

“Dude no way, I’m takin’ the sofa, ya ain't orderin’ me now,” Sharky mumbled, awkwardly scratching himself on the back of his head, then he adjusted the cap on his head and blurted out, and with this, he made his way towards the bedroom. “Uhh… be right back, will go find some covers.”

Ben, as he still stood there holding a can of baked beans in one hand, walked with his eye the other man to the bedroom. From his own perspective, all of what had just happened between them was… weird, even _awkward,_ at the same time the thing of which he had been thinking about a couple of days ago came back to him with such an enormous force that it frightened him to a huge extent.

When the arsonist had announced that he would take the sofa, Ben had turned to face him, and since they hadn’t been so far from each other, he had been now looking straight into those blue eyes of Sharky’s that he had noticed moved down, probably counting the horrible amount of freckles on his cheeks that he could feel had been now gifted with a slight blush. It had taken a huge amount of time before Ben had decided to actually speak up, and the thing the Deputy mumbled gladly hadn’t been heard by the other man since it had taken another while for Sharky to process the fact that Ben had just spoken, and at least, thanks to that, he could correct himself and sound way more decent and confident, declaring that the redneck should take the more comfy furniture.

Still, the feeling that flew through all of his body, it made Ben feet shivers on his spine, and it made him now stand like an idiot in the middle of the small lodge, a can of fucking beans in his hand as he looked how Sharky made his way towards the bedroom. The _way_ in which the other man had just stared at him right before that, how he had glanced at his face, at his countless stupid freckles, it had awakened something within him, something that already had been there but Ben simply had kept ceasing it, scolding himself that it was naive to think of Sharky this way, that it shouldn’t and wouldn’t work like this, that it was plainly... _wrong._

He shook his head, putting both the can and his hat down as Sharky loudly announced that he had found thick covers and that he would try to sleep a few more hours, if that was okay, of course, right on that damn, comfy couch. Ben turned away to face the cupboards, not daring to look at this man anymore. The Deputy was simply ashamed of his feelings and of how embarrassingly quickly they had evolved. The pyromaniac kept babbling, about Hurk right now, about how much fun it would be if his cousin joined their party, about all the Peggies they were going to burn and about all the shit that was going to explode. He then babbled how Ben should impress his cousin with his badass sniper rifle, and that he just _had_ to show off his amazing skills…

“Did you lock the door?” Ben interrupted his gibberish with his demanding tone making Sharky go completely silent, though after a few long seconds of stillness he nervously mumbled.

“Uhh… yeah, amigo, I did.”

Ben gulped loudly at that answer, thinking about what to say now. He exhaled, staring at the white, emptied cupboards.

“I… I’m sorry, I know that you want to talk but… we need to rest before we go to meet with your cousin,” Sharky had a puzzled expression when Ben out of sudden had just cut him off changing the topic completely, but the Deputyーas alwaysーwas right. Their rest was interrupted during the night by Boshaw wanting to take a damn dump, and right now the same Boshaw was talking about pure bullshit while Ben just probably wanted to sleep.

The pyromaniac was just making himself comfy on the couch as Ben gave him a look and he had noticed that his redneck friend didn’t even bother to undress.

“I offered you the bedroom so that you can sleep as long as you want to but since you chose the sofa, then well, I will probably wake you up later.” He added with a sad smile, and then headed towards the bedroom, leaving Sharky in the living room.

Upon locking himself in the other room, Ben closed his eyes and stayed by the door. Fuck. He just hoped with all of his heart that he hadn’t sounded too harsh on Sharky because the other man had seemed surprised by Ben's sudden change in demeanor. Truth was that the Deputy simply reacted in a certain, bitter way to any men trying to flirt with him. Not that the pyromaniac did flirt with him, all he had done had just been fucking _looking_ at his damn face and horrible freckles thus Ben because of that had imagined so many scenarios about to what could this stare lead that he had reacted with nothing but pure ignorance.

He shook his head, hiding his mouth in his palm as he remembered the pain he had felt the last time he had been close with another man. It hadn’t been something he would feel ever again, he knew that, he was damn sure that nothing that had happened to him in his past would even come back to him, at least nothing that had to do with his father making from his life pure hell, including Benjamin happening to be of sexuality that his parent just couldn’t get over of. Ben wasn’t gay, but that hadn’t stopped his father from believing that his son had been a disgrace that he would forever be ashamed of, making his own son go through unbelievable pain and devastation that he had never forgotten, not even after so many years.

Breathing harshly, he wandered towards the huge bed, now thinking about how much better it would be if he could just cuddle Sharky and forget about all the fear he had of that feeling of desire to hug another man, and the irony of that made him nervously giggle.

He undressed, leaving on only his pants and underwear. Not bothering about the cover, he just laid himself on top of the bed to sleep on his belly, holding the pillow close.

When he woke up he didn’t remember how he found himself in this huge bed with dark, wooden walls all around him. Facing now the ceiling, Ben stared at it idly for a longer while, thinking about Sharky and his own sudden outburst of emotions that had scared him so much he nearly had left the pyromaniac with no words, later the Deputy had been having a flashback from long ago that kept haunting him whenever there was a slight chance a man could have feelings towards him.

The thing was that Benjamin wasn’t sure. It just had been simple and innocent stares, the pyromaniac had been so distracted and probably tired that he had just focused on Ben’s cheeks, nothing more. This was what the Deputy tried to reason all of this with, trying not to think about any particular feelings hidden behind the way the redneck sometimes was looking at him.  

Ben got up, deciding the best to calm himself down would be toーsurprisinglyーactually go and to talk with Sharky, and this man just appeared to work as best therapy for all kinds of stress or nervous moments he was going through, just like this one. Sharky wasn’t even aware of how much help he was for the Deputy because Ben was just simply calming down and putting less pressure on himself when Sharky was deep in babbling about his life.

He even felt that the pyromaniac wouldn’t really mind that because this meant that he could speak as long and as much as he wanted toーand Ben had noticed that this man totally loved to talkーgoing quiet only when some serious shit was happening. So basically both were satisfied with this little agreement nobody from them had ever agreed to.

Putting on his shirt, he didn’t bother to button it up as he had decided to try and sneak towards the bathroom before he would wake Sharky up. In the need for a shower, he opened the door, immediately looking at the sleeping figure on the sofa and by that noticing that half of the blanket this man had brought himself was on the ground. Ben bit his lip trying to fight with the urge to approach him and to properly cover him, fearing that this might wake Sharky up because, as he looked now at the deep in sleep figure, he truly wanted for the other man to sleep a little more.

Cursing himself mentally, he stepped closer to grab the blanket into his hand and to swiftly cover the other man, Sharky only mumbled something under his breath as he did it.

Ben crouched beside him, looking at how peacefully this man was sleeping as he adjusted the blanket by his neck. He still was thinking about how to part with him, about how to tell this man that he should leave because the Deputy needed to work on his own, with the truth behind this being that he just wouldn't be able to stand Sharky's pain or worse—his death.

Standing up, he quickly moved towards his backpack, taking out the bag with all his cosmetics. He stepped into the bathroom, quietly closing the door behind. He sighed loudly, putting the bag on an empty counter as he again took the shirt off, also working on his belt and pulling the pants off when he finally looked at his reflection.  

There he was again. The tired, conflicted Deputy that had found himself in the middle of a huge mess of a war that was going on between the residents of Hope County and Joseph's Seed people. Where would he be now if he wouldn’t be sent to Hope County's Sheriff Department together with Staci? Would Staci be safe? Would Ben be at peace?

There were many questions on his lips he wanted to say out loud, that he wanted to ask God, but only one kept creeping up on the back of his mouth that even his mind couldn’t even properly arrange.

_Sharky._ From day one he felt sympathy for this crazy mess of a man, and the sheer thought that he could get hurt was scaring him to the point he had basically yelled at him when shit went out of control but at the same time he was unable to just tell him they needed to part ways because the Deputy was having the time of his life around him, feeling happiness he had never felt before, though still Ben was just lost in this endless wheel of thoughts, questions, and no answers.

Then had he started to feel something, mostly because he had noticed the way in which Sharky had been staring at him, and this had awakened such negative emotions in him, making him remember something he thought he already had forgotten but at the same time, he _wanted_ for something to happen, hoping that this time it would work out better.

Still staring at his own reflection, he hadn’t noticed when he had unconsciously started to play with the two necklaces he always carried. His eyes were focused now on the two nearly the same stones, two celestites with only a few distinguishing features of theirs showing off their difference, one being more damaged than the other.

He cursed loudly and he stepped into the shower as he was finally naked, taking way too long to wash his body and hair, nearly as if desiring to wash away all the damn freckles and to magically make his hair be straight. Once done, he stepped out and dried himself, shuffling his hair to make most droplets fall off, staring again into his own gray eyes in the mirror. He needed to shave, and he needed to cut his curls but he just didn’t feel like it right now.

Sighing loudly again, he properly dressed up and left the bathroom.

“Hi, homie.” The pyromaniac still was lying on the sofa, though his head was turned towards where the door to the bathroom was located and where Ben was now standing. The arsonist cast him a smile, yawning shortly after as he stretched, and as his mouth released a loud, satisfied sound. “How’s the water? Haven't washed my ass in two weeks I think.”

Ben, as if completely forgetting all that had happened yesterday and all the struggle he had dealt with in the bathroom, smiled brightly at the sight before him.

“Sorry I woke you up.” Ben said as he threw the cosmetics bag at Sharky, and the other man captured it with a loud ‘oof’ as the Deputy continued to walk towards the kitchen counter to prepare a meal for them.

“Ya didn’t wake me up, bro.” Ben took out a can opener and a pan, turning on the stove as Sharky slowly made his way towards the bathroom though he cast a look at what the Deputy was doing. “Man, _beans_ again? Can’t be fartin’ all day long again.” He joked as the Deputy was already pouring the beans on the pan with a huge smile on his face as he thought about their plans for today.

Getting to Hurk would be the most stupid decision they would make and Benjamin was damn sure of that, yet as he was cooking the meal, he thought about how this would be a sort of _thanks_ towards the pyromaniac that he deserved because Ben, if he wanted it or not, was _using_ Sharky. They would pay this cousin of his a visit, though it’s quite far and not on the way for what the Deputy was actually planning to do here in Henbane River, soon with the intent to go visit the jail where help was needed… but he thought that this would be the best way to show Sharky appreciation for his duty and just simply dismiss him when he’d be with his crazy cousin.

But did Ben want this? The answer was still _no,_ but he shouldn't be risking Sharky's life more.

Soon after Sharky left the bathroom, his hair a wet mess that Ben gave a short glance as he put the plate with the meal on the table before the sofa where the arsonist earlier slept. The arsonist made himself comfy, making more disgusted noises at the sight of beans as the Deputy sat beside him and punched him playfully, telling him to enjoy the wonders he had prepared, and Sharky laughed.

They ate, though not in silence as Sharky was in huge excitement about going to Fort Drubman. Ben, of course, shared this excitement, smiling brightly while he was eating and asking him a few more questions about this cousin of his because the desire to just _see_ Sharky smile was becoming his daily routine.

Once done with the beans, they first unpacked all the trash, empty cans, and bottles, to later put on their place all the food containers filled with food, also the water that the Deputy had found. Sharky offered he would carry the backpack to their car, at which Ben only smiled, but agreed nonetheless. Upon grabbing all the rest of their stuff along with their weapons, they left the lodge, walking toward the trees where Benjamin had parked the car.

It was somewhere around 10 at least, the sun was high up as Ben stopped in his tracks and looked around while loading his sniper rifle. He could sense that something wasn't right, that something or rather someone was out there, watching them. This realization made him nervous since if there was an enemy, Ben—or Sharky—for sure was on their aim.

Suddenly, something hit his nose, something he remembered well but at the same time wished he didn't know. He could hear a distant giggle, and the sun was blinded him as if it was much closer as a girl approached him with a smile on her face.

Sharky saw that scene, he waited for Ben to approach the car and for him to open it up but since the Deputy wasn't any closer, he looked in confusion at the man that still stood near the house. _Fuck_. It was too late, it was way too late because the huge mist that rose all around him nearly completely made the huge cowboy disappear. He could hear her voice as well, and shit, it wasn't a good sign and it wouldn't end up good if he too suddenly appeared to be under the control of the madness of this woman because he knew how dangerous she could be, so he hid behind the car with his shotgun ready just in case.  

She chuckled again, and her voice sounded so soothing, so known, so incredibly similar to that one voice Ben thought he had already forgotten, that the Deputy completely let her do whatever she desired, and the Bliss completely took control over his senses.

“Welcome to the Bliss, Ben.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank ya for reading~!


	5. Lost at Sea

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What the Bliss can do to one's mind...

The sensation of her honeyed voice was going deep into his mind, piercing into his brain and penetrating all of his senses which strongly made him feel numb but, at the same time, alive. It wasn't just the voice itself, it was also her whole demeanor, the way she walked, the way how soft and childlike her face and expression seemed. Those innocent, blue eyes were staring so intensely into his gray own, though she was so small, so _tiny_ compared to him, that she had to look up to lock her eyes with his.

Benjamin could swear in that particular moment that he would follow her and her orders with no hesitation, that he would do whatever she would desire him to do, Ben was even willing to take out his gun to shoot himself into his scalp, and the sheer thought of that made him clench his fists as she genuinely smiled up at him, nearly as if she read his mind and right now craved for him to do just as he thought.  

“Don't be scared of me, Deputy. Don’t trust their lies, you're safe with me.” She approached him, beaming softly while she took his hand into hers, and the contrast between the size of their palms made Ben stare with his mouth open.

This tender touch awoke some emotions from deep within him, some memories that were old, but at the same time yet so fresh to him, came flooding back as Ben unconsciously, with his free hand, touched his chest where he believed the two necklaces underneath the shirt would be. Suddenly, through the eyes of his imagination, instead of blonde hair, he saw a long, charcoal cascade of curls, nonchalantly jumping up as she walked, guiding Benjamin forward.

He knew who this blonde girl here was—the young woman known as Faith—he was aware that she was recognized for all her unbelievably realistic and monstrous lies, for her manipulative voice and touching stories which she used to lure in people with weak minds, but still, as much as he thought he was mentally strong, he just couldn’t simply resist her and her charm. Not when she just by her whole demeanor made him remember about his older and one and only sister in such an insanely vivid way.

Suddenly, she turned around, grabbing his other hand as well. She was now facing him, though she was still taking slow steps backward, guiding him through a landscape he didn’t even recognize.  

“You don't understand,” she said. “You will _never_ understand if you just don't open your eyes and see.” Faith shut her lids as she finished her sentence, and Ben obediently followed her guide by closing his tired eyes as well.

After that, he was again able to see her, he could observe his divinely beautiful sister Magdalene standing there before him. _Maddie._ The name was on his lips and a hoarse whisper left his mouth as he wanted to reach out, and her smile and her arms appeared just so welcoming, so _there_ , meant to be, waiting for Benjamin to just approach her and to let it all be, for Ben to allow her to embrace him, and to…

_No._

The Deputy quickly opened his eyes again, finding himself in a completely different place. It was just as weird and bizarre as the previous location, and Benjamin was again not able to recognize it at all. The lights and pleasant colors made the area appear so serene and so welcoming he could feel his legs basically _want_ to carry the rest of his body forward. Since there was nothing else he could do in this exact situation, he let his legs do whatever they wanted and Ben moved as the strong smell of Bliss dug into his mind, making it hard for him to think straight.

“I know what you’re thinking. I know what they have told you about me…”

Upon hearing that cooing voice again, he stopped in his tracks and turned around, breathing loudly at the sudden fear that unreasonably attacked his senses. Ben searched for the source of this voice, though nobody was around.

After a short while, he continued his walk only to realize that he wasn’t certain if he had taken the right direction as previously. Feeling lost and at total unease, he whimpered at the thought that he just got lost in this unending area that smelled with Bliss so badly that he wanted to throw up.

“They told you that I’m a liar… a manipulator…”

This time Benjamin didn’t come to a halt to look around, he continued to step forward as he nervously looked to the side from which the girl sounded, though once again, there was nobody nearby. He desired to run, to just make the Bliss disappear, for this horrific nightmare to end and for this woman to stop fucking with his mind at will but as he tried to make his legs go faster, a butterfly came into his sight.

This peculiar scene of the small animal just appearing out of nowhere made him immediately stop, following its path with his eyes as it slowly made its way towards his right hand, where he out of sudden felt and saw Faith’s small hands. The girl lifted his muscular arm up to analyze his long, thick fingers and to touch the hard and rough skin of his. She kept talking to him, revealing to him what other people kept saying about her, all of that being pure lies.

And Ben watched her, unable to take his eyes off her.

“You are scared…” she whispered. “But trust me, you’re safe with me…”

At first, the Deputy had wished to run, he had been unsure about where he was and what actually was this place, and these doubts were fuelling his fear whenever she had spoken and whenever he couldn’t spot her, and right now he acted as if he totally forgot about being afraid of anything that was all around him, trusting Faith with his life.

Within him grew a huge desire to speak up, he wanted to confess her that _yes,_ he was scared, so fucking scared of so many things that kept haunting him at nights, like losing his friends or fucking up so badly that he wouldn't be able to save people he wished to save… not to mention the existence of the man he recently had met and right now wasn’t sure where he even was located.

Suddenly, Faith pulled him forward, making Ben’s train of thought about his concerns and _Sharky_ completely disappear as she spoke up again, and the cooing sound of her voice reached his ears and immediately calmed him down.

God, he could swear he wasn’t able to feel the Bliss all around him anymore, he could feel that it faded and finally cleared his mind, and thus Benjamin was able to think properly about the hideous situation he had found himself in as the Deputy in Joseph’s church so long ago. With these thoughts, he followed the girl before him that just had let go of his hand, and he looked around to watch the nature all around them as the beautiful, calming colors captured his attention. The smells of flowers and grass filled up his nose and Ben breathed in the scent as Faith spoke again, further confirming that she wasn't whatever others saw in her.

She forced him to sit down, and Ben with no questions did as she desired, looking carefully into those innocent eyes of hers and she revealed the true story behind her individual. Faith told him the tale about an abused girl that had found relief in a needle, later also talking about a blessed girl that had found _faith_ in the Father, and that, of course, Ben should try as well to open his eyes and to see that he could yet be saved by Joseph, if he just would only follow her.

Another giggle left her mouth and the sound of it confused his mind to the point he once again could see with the eyes of the imagination those stunning, fluffy, dark curls...

“Maddie,” he muttered, with a hoarse and unsure tone. There were visible tears in his eyes as Faith looked over at him with a genuine smile on her face. It gave him the idea that the name he just said out loud was known to her, that she had reacted to it as any other person that had used to know his sister would behave.

 _“Maddie?”_ Faith locked her eyes with his for a split second, analyzing the Deputy’s face. She chuckled, biting her lip as she cocked her head to the side. “She's here… with us. With the Father.”

Ben chocked in a gasp as she confirmed that she was here. _My Magdalene._ He had to close his eyes as he tried to imagine his sister by Joseph Seed’s side, a sight that he couldn’t recreate even with the magic of his imagination, a sight that just couldn’t work out and didn't cease to exist no matter how hard he tried but before he managed to protest, Faith helped him stand up, and her voice was still all around the Deputy.

The naked truth was that he wasn’t even listening to her anymore, though she kept talking, mostly about the Father, about the purpose he gave her and about how Ben should join them.

All Benjamin was focused on was how close he was to his sister.

Suddenly, he realized, they weren't even on the ground anymore because Faith with stunning, white wings was hovering above the land with him by her side, though surprisingly this at all wasn't occurring to him as a quite impossible nor weird thing. Even when they were going much faster now, actually _flying_ above the landscape, he didn't care.

_Maddie. She was here._

From afar Ben could see the Father's huge statue, he had seen it before a couple of times but it always had impressed him how _prideful_ Joseph had acted by making himself build such an enormous statue.

They landed on the open book the statue of the Father was holding, and out of sudden, he noticed that Marshall Burke was standing beside him, smiling at him. Ben was… fairly disappointed that it was him who he encountered here, and not his sister.

“Come on Dep, all you have to do is to have _faith,”_ Burke said, breathing in the smell of the Bliss, and with that, he stepped closer to the edge of the Book of Joseph and without any logical reason _not_ to do that he just… jumped.

Benjamin first of all, at least before Burke performed the leap of faith, analyzed his words.

The Marshall had told him to have faith, but even with the Bliss endlessly oozing all around them, with Faith hovering a couple of steps away from the statue with her white, glowing wings, staring and smiling down at both, all Ben could think of right now was to believe that Maddie was here. _Safe._

When Burke jumped, he panicked a little, immediately moving away from the edge.

“Step forward, Deputy,” she silently ordered. “Join the Father… join _Maddie_ in the Bliss.”

Hearing Faith speak up once again, encouraging Ben to simply jump mostly by mentioning his sister again, he slowly reached the edge of the statue and he looked down, unable to even see the bottom of this huge Joseph made of stone. Some voice of reason within him was screaming at him that one more step forward, and he would fall, and falling from such a height obviously meant _dying._

Yet Ben craved to just do that, to let it all be and to simply jump. To do just as Burke had done, to fucking let Faith embrace him and not care about the world's madness, about all the fights, wars, death…

Ben truly didn't want for this woman to give him the peace he so badly desired, he didn't want to show her that he had faith or to do anything she wished he would do... All he craved right now was to just join Maddie, even if this meant taking a leap of faith and possibly crippling himself or even dying a horrific death he himself had committed. Right now as he was deep under Bliss’ hold… he didn't give a _flying_ fuck.

And Deputy Benjamin Deans mindlessly jumped.

 

* * *

 

“Ben, oh, for fuck’s sake, stop doing this! You keep takin’ all the fine booty away from me.” Staci groaned and approached Ben to punch him in his arm, and no matter if this was done in a playful matter or not, Deputy Deans didn’t even flinch, staring down at his friend with a confused expression.

“What?” Ben asked. “Why? I’m not even doing a thing.” Shrugging, he took a sip from his cup filled with warm coffee after the two girls that had just talked with him made their way towards the exit of the police station.

“Buddy, you very well know _why,”_ The younger Deputy grunted. “Your damn handsome face is way too handsome for all the girls that enter this fuckin’ place to notice _me._ ”

Benjamin laughed lowly at this statement, looking over at the girls that had just left. They hadn't even attracted him at all, and truth was that Ben hadn't even thought about flirting with them or any other person while at work. He just wasn’t interested at all in this kind of behavior especially not when he was supposed to be professional, and those women had come here to report a crime.

“You know I’m not into that, right?” Ben carefully started, taking another sip to then put down the cup of coffee while Staci sighed and hovered to his own place to pick up some papers. _"Right?”_

“Yeaaaah, I know, just… just that they always go over to you, not to me. Even guys!” With the papers in his hands, he again approached Ben and handed them over to his desk. He looked up at the older Deputy, and with a pleading expression on his face he spoke up again. “Can you still look over those papers though? I am still not quite… you know.”

Deputy Deans chuckled and glanced over at the somewhat massive pile of papers that the younger Deputy had just put on the desk. “The Sheriff? Again?”

“Yeah... Dude, he just fuckin'  _hates_ me. For no damn reason, I swear.” It was clear that Staci wasn’t happy about that matter as he avoided Ben’s eyes, though the much taller Deputy kept staring at his face.

Benjamin as much as he enjoyed Sheriff Whitehorse’s company, and as much as Staci wasn’t the best Deputy compared to others, Ben still couldn’t understand why Earl was acting so _unfairly_ towards this young boy, giving him way more paperwork than usual and also never actually taking him out in the field.

The cowboy walked around to sit by his desk and take care of the work that the Sheriff left for Pratt, showing with his chin for Staci to take a seat beside him. “Don’t worry, you will Sta _see_ that we’ll figure something out. Both with the papers and with Earl.”

“Oh, fuck you, Deputy Deans.” The younger man laughed, sitting beside Ben to punch him in the arm once again.

 

* * *

 

Ben didn’t feel like waking up at all, he just wanted to continue his sleep and not bother with anything that had to do with standing up and doing his job as a Deputy. He seriously wanted nothing but just one day off because of how tired he felt… maybe he would just… let Sheriff know that he wouldn't go to work today… but only… _today..._

He opened his eyes and took a long, harsh breath, coughing out all the air out of his lungs in an instance. Feeling as if he was about to cough out his whole guts, he tried to calm down his breath, though the yet remaining feeling of Bliss basically penetrating all of his body and mind not so long ago made it incredibly hard.

Not able to remember yet what had happened to him, he still managed to somewhat ease his breath as he touched his neck, feeling that he needed water. His eyes, at last, were used to the bright environment around, though the light gladly wasn’t shining right into his eyes. He took a long breath as he brought one hand up to brush his hair away from his face.

Upon feeling more alive than seconds ago, he noticed that he was staring up—thus it obviously meant he was lying on the ground—seeing the sky all above but also the statue of Joseph Seed which further made him realize that he was _right_ beneath it.

_Oh, fuck._

All the memories from what had happened hit him right at once and he sat up nearly immediately, coughing out more air out from his lungs. He remembered that he had stepped closer to the edge of the book and had actually jumped from the fucking enormous as hell statue but… he was _alive_.

_How the fuck was this even possible?_

Then, cursing again, he crawled away, hurting his hands on the hard rocks on which he sat. _Bodies._ All around him were mutilated corpses that for sure had fallen from the statue and obviously hadn't survived the fall. So how in God’s name was it possible that Benjamin Deans with some quite fresh and not his blood sticking to his clothes—as he had currently noticed and whimpered—from all of people that deceased here, was alive?

Unable to answer this impossible question, he had realized that his sniper rifle was lying beside one of the corpses and even though the whole scene frightened him, he finally got up and stepped over to the dead, _God have mercy,_ young boy, beside of which his weapon was resting.

Picking it up, he carefully examined it for the search of any new damages it may have gotten when he had fallen, gladly finding only the scratches of usage that already had been on the firearm for quite a long time. He sighed in relief, though it didn’t last for long as he realized that neither his hat nor his backpack was nowhere in sight. Ben tried to look back into his memory to try and remember when and how had he left both of these items. He realized though that even while in the Bliss with Faith his sniper rifle _hadn't been_ there, his hat probably hadn't been present there too... and suddenly it hit him why his backpack wasn’t here with him.

_Sharky._

Remembering this crazy pyromaniac awoke so many emotions within him that he at first didn’t know what to do with himself as he just stared into nothing with Sharky’s name on his dry lips.

First came worry because from the moment they had left the house till now… he had no damn idea where Sharky could have been or even if this poor arsonist was safe, and the thought that this man could get hurt when the Deputy was away—God knows where—scared Benjamin to the point he wanted to run towards… _towards what?_

_Fuck. Fuuuuuck._

Ben had never felt more lost in his life and the helplessness he currently felt made him cluelessly walk away from all the dead bodies and from the unnerving smell the corpses were emanating, stepping towards some trees where he sat down with a loud _oof._ He tried to reasonably think of what he should do now and having no backpack and no supplies whatsoever made Ben be at panic since first of all he had no plans of where to go _now._

The first thing that came to his mind was to go towards the place where he and Sharky had slept at night, but God, he had not even the slightest idea of where the lodge was located since they arrived there at night and he hadn't even checked on the map where the fuck they had been. Another thing that got to him was… _nothing._ He could also try to walk towards the Trailer Park where he and Sharky had met but he had no clue if this would be possible for the pyromaniac, if he was okay, to wait exactly there for him. Or if he even wanted to wait for Ben anywhere.

He had no idea what to do and this doubtful stance of his was driving him crazy.

_Calm down, Ben. It’s not the end of the world._

In the worst case, he could call either Nick or Grace, though this was out of option because of how far he was from them. Nick wouldn’t even have where to land since he wasn’t in any proper spot for the pilot to safely land.

He closed his eyes, clutching to the sniper rifle as he out of sudden remembered his sister Magdalene since not long ago she had been quite often mentioned by his own, stupid mind and by Faith. Right now, free of Bliss, he was aware that all of this had been just a lie, this blonde, young girl manipulating him into doing whatever she desired him to do, but… deep down he wanted to believe that this had been true, that she had been there. Yet he knew this wasn’t possible. She just couldn’t be there. She couldn’t...

 _Calm down, free yourself of those thoughts, Ben, it’s going_ —

_Oh._

The jail. Of course. The only reasonable place where he could head to right now was the jail where hopefully some of his colleagues were still stationing. It wasn’t close to where he was situated right now as he knew that the statue was quite far from the jail but not that far for it to hurt. Also, if he remembered right, then on his way there he could even hit on the Moonflower Trailer Park to check if his Sharky friend wasn’t by accident there again.

Again, he stood up, one last time looking over at all the dead bodies, then glancing up at the statue of the Father with an angered expression.

“You will pay for this, Joseph Seed. You will pay for everything you have done.”  

Upon swearing revenge on the man who had destroyed nearly the whole County by his fanaticism, he started to pray for all the poor people that weren’t as lucky as the Deputy and hadn't survived the fall, and many others horrible things.

Ben started to slowly walk towards where he hoped the jail would be, preparing his sniper rifle just in case, and going south where he from afar could already see a road. He just hoped not to meet any Peggies on his way there, at the same time he believed that if he would encounter any enemies on the roadway then at least he would have a vehicle to get to his destination faster.

Luck wasn’t on his side as he reached the asphalt and was forced to quietly take down an Angel from real close that had happened not to be an Angel at all since they had turned into a cougar the moment Ben had been about to suffocate them. This had scared the hell out of Benjamin who had quickly pulled out his gun out of the holster and had shot it right before the animal had jumped on him.

Ben breathed loudly, the corpse of the lifeless big cat resting now beside him as he fell back himself. He wanted to just fucking stay on the ground until this ridiculous war would fucking end but he got up nearly right away, grabbing his sniper rifle and jogging over towards some bushes because the shot hadn't been the faintest since he yet hadn't installed a suppressor on his gun so he had had to hide.

Fuck. The road happened to be quite busy because once he reached a fairly safe spot he saw a couple of Peggies ride here and there, and he didn’t want to risk shooting the driver and failing, especially now when more cars were on the road and others would for sure see one of the drivers die and crash.

Finally, after a couple of minutes of staying hidden, a better occasion occurred where only one car was in sight, coming right at him, only one Peggie inside… Ben aimed his sniper rifle, his old SVD Dragunov that he had been gifted upon becoming a cop some time ago, he took a long breath then slowly released the air from his lungs as he shot, the bullet hit the enemy right in the middle of his forehead.

The windscreen, of course, shattered, though as he hoped for the best, the driver turned rapidly right after he got shot. Ben cursed under his breath as the car stopped on a tree, yet he rushed towards it in a hope that it would still work long enough to at least overcome a greater distance with no overworking himself.

Upon reaching the car, gladly, it didn’t look that damaged as he had thought it would be as the Peggie hadn't been going slow. Ben opened the driver’s door to lay his sniper rifle on the passenger's seat, and he got rid of the Peggie that he had shot down, picking him up and hiding him behind the tree into which he had crashed.

Then, first looking around if no new cars were in sight, Ben pushed the convertible a little away from the tree, again giving the car a look but as much as he wasn't the best in assuming if the vehicle was in a desirable state to drive, he seriously believed that it was alright.

He sat in the car, and he immediately felt much safer than in the open field.

Benjamin brushed the nasty curls from his forehead away, dearly hating out of sudden the fact that he had lost his hat God knows where. He turned the key, making the engine roar loudly as he quickly made his way towards—as he hoped with all of his heart—the jail.

It didn't take long when he recognized the environment he had remembered not from so long ago, the Trailer Park barely behind the hill that he just needed to reach, and the sheer thought that there could be Sharky made his guts twitch in excitement.

The Deputy couldn't even deny that he missed the company of the crazy pyromaniac, his mouth just never closing even when Ben had told him to just damn shut up. He was insane, but this insanity was in a way so calming that Benjamin hadn't been feeling the same stress that he was feeling right now.

_God, please. Let him be there._

He parked nearly at the same spot as he had on the day he had met Boshaw, though this time the same crazy place seemed… empty. It was completely hollow, only some already rotting bodies made it appear more creepy than actually abandoned.

Ben didn't even get out of the car, but he honked—and he knew this could lure some Peggies here, yet he still risked that—hoping to see the man get out of one of the trailers to wave at him and join him again, so that they could continue their crazy journey to meet the cousin the pyromaniac a couple of times had already mentioned.

_Oh._

Thinking about that cousin of Sharky’s made Benjamin realize that the redneck went exactly there where they were supposed to drive before Ben had disappeared, though he had no clue if this man was brave enough to drive there on his own or if he even thought about doing that in the first place.

Sighing loudly, he gave up on waiting and decided to drive back towards the crossroads where the road would lead him to his destination, though upon reaching it he noticed that the straight way towards the jail was blocked by a few cars and a couple of armed Peggies and since he didn't have any company, and since he was only armed with a sniper rifle, he rather would avoid such encounters directly.

Ben stared at them for a while longer and looked around for any ideas to what to do now when he noticed a small lodge—as he thought—hidden behind some woods nearby. Not bad, he thought, considering that he was thirsty as fuck and he felt as if he hadn't eaten in a day or even a couple of days. He missed his backpack and his supplies dearly but right now he was desperate to find something to consume. Also, he maybe would find inside someone to help him out with the road blockade or to even guide him around towards the jail.  

He pulled over near the trees and not far from—as he now saw—a trailer that was in an interesting way completely transformed into a not so cozy house, a grill and a machine gun on the rooftop, some trash and furniture outside, also some burned furniture and… explosives.

Fucking explosives. _Huh._

Ben got out of the car, taking the gun out of the holster just in case but the sight of _burned_ stuff gave him hope that this place was associated with the Trailer Park more than what he had assumed.

Stepping from behind the trees, Benjamin noticed him, and at the same time, the Deputy fell to the ground because the man must have detected him as well, shooting from his shotgun before even warning that he was about to shoot.

“Jesus Christ, it's me! Ben!” the Deputy shouted, hoping for the man to damn recognize him before he would shoot again but as he did it, a sudden and uncontrollable fear that the bullet that nearly crashed his skull had caused came to his mind that maybe the Bliss had fucked with Ben so bad that he had made up his friendship with the pyromaniac, the other man now seeing in him his enemy.

“Fuckin’ hell… _Ben!"_ Sharky upon realizing who just yelled over at him rushed towards this man, nearly tripping on his own legs when it got to him what he just nearly had done. “Oh shit man, I could've shot ya!”

Ben sat up and sighed in relief, brushing his hair away and making the dirt fall off from his shirt and pants, he also gave his own body a careful look if the man had missed or not.

_Thank God, he remembers me._

“Oh, fuck, fuck, _fuuuuck,_ Ben, dude, ya okay?!” Sharky reached him, nearly sliding to sit beside him and to check the man that he just had nearly shot down. The pyromaniac's voice was trembling, his eyes filled with worry focused on searching for any blood on his friend's shirt but he too, just as the Deputy, found nothing on him.

Ben, as Sharky finally looked up into those gray eyes, was staring right at him, and Sharky breathed loudly in pure relief as he saw that the Dep was all fine and fucking _alive._ He could have shot him and he would never damn forgive himself if he killed his one and only friend, the urge to just hug this man became way too tempting.

“I'm okay,” Ben mumbled, the shock and fear finally faded, and with this, he cast the other man the most genuine smile he could. “I'm… I’m actually more than okay, God, you have no idea _how_ happy I am to see you.”

Benjamin, with all seriousness, couldn't believe that he had just out of nowhere found Sharky in a place where had he hoped to find only something to drink and eat. He nearly had given up hope he would find him that easily first upon waking up beneath the statue of Joseph with nothing and nobody by his side, and secondly, after seeing the empty Trailer Park. Ben was just completely unsure about Sharky's whereabouts, and finding him by the biggest accident was so insane and so unexpected that he shook his head, chuckling at the sight of the other man's confused expression mixed up with a tiny—yet noticeable—blush.  

“Ya sure that ya…” Sharky carefully started because the other man's demeanor and the way how he reacted after being nearly shot didn't seem to be _okay_ at all.

“I'm sure,” Ben said with a gentle tone, opening his arms. “Come here.”

Sharky hesitated and with an even bigger confusion written on his face stared at the other man that was looking back at him with a smile spread on that fucking freckled face. He didn't need long to understand what the heck had the Deputy meant by this statement as that man pulled him in for an awkward embrace.

_Holy shit, Ben's huggin’ me._

His mind buzzed with many thoughts yet all Sharky was able to mumble was something so inaudible he himself was unsure of what he just stated.

Ben didn't mind it, as it seemed, since he pulled away from the other man's body and got up, helping also the arsonist stand up, which ended with Sharky stumbling and nearly falling again, though Ben kept holding his arm so that he wouldn’t fall.

“Now I guess _I_ have to be the one to ask… are _you_ okay? Ben had to choke in another giggle as Sharky just stared at him without answering his question.

Out of sudden Benjamin remembered how he a few days ago—though he was fairly unsure if more days, if not weeks, didn't pass—had experienced Sharky staring at him in the same way which had led to Ben's realization about Sharky and himself. It didn't hit him as hard as before, right now the Deputy feeling way too many emotions at once, and all of them had led to the fact that he let his own feelings take over his mind to hug the confused pyromaniac. Now, as Sharky was staring at him, he wasn’t so sure if whatever he thought about was what he thought it was.

_Maybe I am just seeing things._

“Man, I nearly shot ya, how else should I fuckin’ feel?” Sharky exclaimed and coughed, and with this, he finally straightened himself and by accident made Ben let go of his hand, Sharky out of sudden missing that warmth and pressure on his hoodie.

He leaned down and patted on his loose jeans to make the dirt fall, and as he did it, _fuck,_ the realization of why they actually had parted and why Sharky nearly had shot him hit him as hard as Hurk in a truck would hit a Peggie. He started to mindlessly shout out a lot of random words into Ben's direction. “That bitch fuckin’ mother Faith junkie gal got ya, dude like I was so scared I’d lost ya, ya sure you're ‘kay bro? I mean like fuck, she was all around ya and that fuckin’ Bliss shit ass weed smoke just—”

 _“Sharky,"_  The Deputy firmly stopped the other man's unending ramble. “I was scared myself, I won't even deny it, but… I survived, I am okay. Promise.”

“Ya ain't a mindless Angel so that's the best news today I guess,” he said and smirked, relaxing at last.

Benjamin had never been happier in his life to had found this crazy pyromaniac once again in such a short amount of time. He seriously should stop his own emotions from raging inside of him but he couldn't help it but be cheerful about how the events had occurred, mostly to his favor. Yet he couldn't lie even to his own mind that he desired to once more take this man into an embrace to show him not only that he truly was alright but also to express his joy that they were friends and they had found each other.

He stopped himself barely seconds before Sharky invited him _home_ which took him by surprise. The truth was he was about to go in there only to see if there are any supplies then go over to the jail and… _and what?_

“Well, I…” Ben carefully started, the thought of going inside the trailer which apparently happened to be Sharky’s house stressed him out, in a way, the Deputy deep down thinking Sharky had something else in mind than just a friendly invite for a tea. He tripped on his own words as he tried to find a proper excuse. “I should get going, you know, I… you can join me, of course… only if you want me—I mean, if you want to join me.”

Sharky cleared his throat, understanding that the Deputy wanted to go on and to continue with their crazy mission to save Hope County but a short stay at his house wouldn’t hurt, as he believed. Yet he didn’t complain and waited for Ben to continue with his babble, which made him smirk a little, the huge ass cowboy looking extremely cute this way.

When Ben confirmed that Sharky could join him, he smiled brightly. “ _Shurky_ Imma join ya, ya lead the way, capt’n.”

The Deputy bit his lip as he crouched to pick up his gun he had no idea when he had dropped, hiding it in his holster. “I’m glad to hear this, we’re still up to visit your cousin, right?

“Hell yeah!!”, Sharky shouted, making his way towards his trailer. “But come on, let’s sit on our butts for a while, I’m dead ass tired and ya must be tired as fuck too.”

“We did rest enough, didn’t we? And you seemed to be resting when I approached you, too.” Ben followed him, though when he stated his words Sharky stopped in his tracks to look at him, his expression serious and with a frown.  

“Man, no fuckin’ way I'm lettin’ ya go after havin’ met that blonde hot bitch. _No way_.” Sharky's tone was demanding, he even made a specific motion with his hand to cut off this topic, and Ben had a hard time trying to convince even himself he should go with his mission on since he himself wasn't so sure about his own condition after such a great amount of Bliss.

Ben sighed, though as Sharky resumed to walk towards the stairs he followed, looking around to find any way how to escape from such a tempting offer. “I know I should rest but…”

“No butts for ya dude.” Sharky picked up his shotgun that was lying beside the chair on which he had earlier sat and Ben assumed now how this man basically had thrown it away when he realized he had nearly shot him.

The pyromaniac started to talk about his journey here, trying to distract Ben from walking away as he tried to find the proper key from the bunch of keys he always carried around to open the front door. He mentioned how he had burned some people, how he basically had just got here and his place was messy because he hadn't tidied up in ages… he also revealed essential information about Ben’s backpack.

“You got it. My backpack.” Ben stood before the door as Sharky went in after unlocking it and the Deputy smiled, surprised once again that today luck was on his side.

“Yeah dude, took proper care of your baby ‘cause without it, man, we would be dead fightin’ them Peggies like a couple of times.” Sharky was already in the house as the Deputy reached his backpack to first take out a bottle of water and ease his thirst, to later swiftly put it on. With this, he reached the door's frame to peek inside and he looked around the house and, well, his friend hadn't been lying when he had warned Ben about the state of the interior, not to mention that the backyard too wasn’t any clean.

“Sharky, I…” Benjamin started carefully, shifting his weight. “I seriously wish to stay but I should go. I thought about heading to the jail to see if—"

“The jail? Dude, are ya nuts?! No way, over my dead fuckin’ body that I’m goin’ there willingly.” Sharky protested from over his kitchen counter as the Deputy had mentioned the word with which he only associated with cops that were exaggerating with how they saw his passion for fire, locking him up there as if this would stop him from putting shit on fire.

“You don't have to join me, you know,” Ben continued, yet there was a hint of disappointment in his voice that he would have to go on his own. “I can come back here once I’m done with dealing with the jail because they’re at need for sure… then we can continue our journey up north, to your cousin.”

Benjamin deep down scolded himself for sounding how he had sounded, the clear sadness in his voice being a guilt train aimed at the other man. He had used to plan how to make the other man know that their ways should part, and for Ben to continue his journey on his own, and now, after they separated because of Faith Seed, he didn't want that anymore. Now he wished with all of his heart for Sharky to be around with him. _Always._

It was clear that Sharky was giving it a serious thought, contemplating about the Deputy's offer about him going on his own to the jail, to later go on an adventure up to Fort Drubman. This didn’t sound like a bad idea in the pyromaniac’s honest opinion but he still didn’t like the fact that Ben had just gone through this horrible Bliss fuckery associated with that junkie girl.

“Man, fuck. I dunno. Seriously, can't agree to that, ya just... Like, why can't ya stay over here for a bit? Or like… _I dunno.”_ Seeming terribly conflicted, Sharky let go a loud, frustrated sigh because he truly didn’t want to go to that horrific place, but at the same time the thought that the Deputy would be there with him, the same man that had assured the arsonist that he wouldn't arrest him, was somewhat comforting him. Yet, he wanted for Ben to stay and rest.

“If you don’t know then… then I’ll set off,” Ben said, yet didn’t move from his spot. He looked away, his eyes focused on _nothing_ as he was gathering thoughts. “Thank you for… for being around and just…”

Sharky glanced over at the man that wasn’t looking at him at all, his eyes staring blankly at whatever was lying in front of him. He could feel the man wasn’t really the happiest to leave the pyromaniac behind and, if Sharky could be honest, he didn’t want for Ben to leave him too because he was scared he would lose his friend forever if he did. He had to resist the urge to just shout at the Deputy to wait but there was no need yet since the cowboy man wasn’t moving, just _smiling,_ as if he was remembering something.

“You were awesome company, one of the best even, and, well… thank you for being my friend, Sharky.” Benjamin finally looked over at the arsonist, seeing that the other man was staring at him with his mouth open and that sight made him nervous a bit. He could again feel that intense warmth coming low from his abdomen that indicated he should back off and put on his cold facade.

But he didn’t want to.

Instead, Ben wanted to again approach the redneck to hug him, as he had before. Just that the embrace from earlier had been clumsy, needy, and Ben hadn't even let himself truly feel that sensation of this man being held in his arms… but now he wanted that, he just wanted to...

_No._

Sharky kept being focused on him, yet Ben wasn't able to tell what he could be possibly thinking about. It saddened the Deputy that he didn't even say anything to bid him goodbye, and he broke the stare that he held with the pyromaniac, moving a little. The feelings were boiling within him, screaming at him to go.

“Hold up, ‘m goin’ with ya.” Ben turned around to leave when the arsonist’s voice sounded, and as he looked back he noticed that Sharky stepped closer, standing now by the Deputy with a determined expression and his shotgun ready. Sharky cleared his throat, his voice harsh. “Tho I'm not goin’ in there, no fuckin’ way. Imma wait outside or like… nearby. A mile away. At least!”

Sharky was indeed deep in thoughts when the Deputy kept babbling about how grateful he was for his company, and this was what made the redneck be so in shock he couldn't even mutter a word. He wasn’t having many friends, _fuck,_ truth was he had like _no_ friends at all, the Deputy in this very moment, upon calling him his friend, being the only one the pyromaniac could call as his true friend, and he couldn't let again for him to go out there without him. No damn way.

The bright smile, when he exclaimed that he would be going with him, that the cowboy's face was now gifted with, one or two curls covering his forehead, the freckles making it all appear way more adorable than what it should be… well, it all made the pyromaniac blush. _Again._ Ben also said something though Sharky didn't listen or didn't want to listen because hell, he was way too occupied with not appearing too desperate with how he needed Ben to be his friend.

“It’s okay, you don't have to go in,” Ben started, smiling and biting his lower lip. “Though seriously, I won't lock you up there, I already pointed that out.”

“Ya sure?” Sharky carefully asked, following the Deputy outside since he had already made his way there, the pyromaniac clutching to his shotgun nervously. “I mean, uhh, all those murders and fires that I started… kinda a good reason to lock me in, popo.”

“Not to mention I did exactly the same…” The Deputy said, continuing to walk towards his parked car. His face changed at this statement though because it was all true. If standing before court, he could be easily accused for murder and even arson, but given the circumstances, in order to protect himself, he _had_ to kill. He had to. “So maybe, just maybe, they will lock us both in one cell.”

Ben turned around while still walking, smiling at the pyromaniac who let out a laugh imagining sharing a prison cell with a _Deputy_ but Benjamin, once he turned back away from Sharky's stare, didn't feel like laughing at all.


	6. Caught in the Fire

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A simple visit to the jail.

With a half-burned cigarette in his mouth, Ben was driving the car, following Sharky’s guide in how to avoid the blockade—much to the pyromaniac’s disappointment that yet _no_ fires were allowed—as both of them slowly headed towards the jail. Sharky, with a content smile, accepted a smoke the other man had offered him when they had entered the car, and during all the time being the arsonist talked about one stay in the jail of his from a few years ago. He frankly remembered why he had been locked, but he still very well pulled out every detail of his craziness he had had performed while in there.

Ben laughed, of course, at his story, listening to all he said, and Sharky honestly couldn't help but smile as he glanced over at the other man. Those few quite long whiles without him by his side already had made him miss the Deputy’s presence and his devoted appreciation of all the stories Sharky kept babbling about. He was a gift sent by whatever hot fire goddess there was since no other person was ever so willing to stay around him. Not just that, Ben _himself_ had confirmed that they were friends and that he absolutely enjoyed the pyromaniac’s company.

Remembering those words that had left Ben’s mouth made instantly Sharky's face be gifted with a blush, _fucking again,_ and he immediately looked away. This was slowly becoming ridiculous of how often he felt his cheeks warm up but with Ben being so handsome and kind of _out of league_ for him—mostly when it came to the fact that he was a man, also a god damn Deputy, not to mention someone who for sure had many other _better_ friends. Yet Ben _still_ appreciated him and called him his friend… so he simply couldn't hold it back but be happy and blush.

_Not that ya would date a man, fuck no. Remember Boshaw: pussy for life, right?_

_...right?_

Shaking his head, he tried to avoid to think about Ben because even though his mind was now occupied with thoughts about his favorite hobby which was eating pussy, he still with the power of his imagination developed an image of the Deputy in all of his shirtless glory even though he had never before seen that man without a shirt… he only had had a chance to feel through his shirt that fairly muscled chest because his hands, conveniently or not, had landed on his chest.

_Fuckin’ mother._

He shifted in his seat, not just because he could feel his dick twitch in ache from how he again hadn't jerked off in ages, but also because he could see the jail looming in the distance. This, out of sudden, stressed him out mostly because next to him was sitting an actual Deputy whose job was to capture criminals and God knows if he wasn't lying about his promise to not lock Sharky in.

“Man,” Sharky nervously started and loudly cleared his throat, “We're gettin’ close, will ya pull over?”

Benjamin put out the cigarette on the car's upholstery, breathing out the smoke while leaving the remains in the door’s pocket. With this he looked over at the redneck beside him, mumbling an _okay_ and actually doing as told, parking the car by some trees near the road that straight up would lead them to the jail, but, as he did it, as he turned off the engine, they were able to hear gunshots and yells.

The arsonist and the Deputy stared at each other for a couple of seconds as if trying to see what the other was thinking of that, focusing on the distant shots, then both of them grabbed their weapons and quickly left the car.

“Sharky,” Ben muttered loud enough for the other man to lock his eyes with his. “Just be safe.” It was all he was able to say before the pyromaniac smirked and ran towards the sounds of the shots with hope to burn some Peggies.

Benjamin in the meantime prepared his sniper rifle and jogged up to hide between some trees. He first examined the scene unfolding a bunch of yards in front of him, seeing defenders on the jail's walls that were trying to withstand waves of Peggies that were trying their best to find cover behind some cars parked by the barricades. Then, when he saw one Peggie far right that was consumed by flames, yelling into the air which distracted and scared the others, he couldn’t help but smile, though neither he nor the enemies didn't see the pyromaniac anywhere close.

 _Huh._ Seems he had learnt something from the _Deans style_ of dealing with things.

Another thing that made Ben be so delighted was the building itself. It wasn't long since he had been somewhat settled here in Hope County, a Deputy that had been sent to Sheriff Whitehorse because he had been in need of more deputies. Ben had had a temporary room that he had been renting in a house which belonged to a kind, old lady, and he had been carrying out many chores after or before work which miss Brown couldn’t do herself.

Ben had found out later that Staci simply hadn't been enough—words that the younger Deputy had basically cried out in frustration at Ben—though Staci himself had been sent to the police station not that long ago as well, maybe a month or two before Ben had got a call. Benjamin enjoyed the jail and working there, and even though he mostly was sent into the field where his duty was to patrol roads, he still didn't know the neighborhood _that_ precisely yet. There were still many unknown roads and places yet to uncover, and right now, with the jail—the place he associated with work—being under attack, the whole situation itself seemed unknown to him, so _fucking_ bizarre.

The Deputy glanced through the scope, he aimed, breathed out, shot, and with this one of the enemies fell to the ground.

_Two gone. Ten or eleven to go. For now._

Ben always aimed for the head to make the death be as fast and painless as possible, he was also always thinking about his own safety, so he—first of all—had installed a suppressor to make his sniper rifle be as quiet as possible, and secondly, by headshots he obviously avoided any horrific screams of pain, with the only hearable thing being the body falling lifelessly down to the ground.

Benjamin shot again, though the enemy was faster and moved seconds before the bullet managed to hit their head. _Fuck._ Ben quickly hid behind his cover, careful not to make too much of movement, feeling how now all the eyes of the enemies just turned to face him.

The Peggie obviously noticed that a bullet nearly had split his head open, yelling at his companions that they were ambushed not just from the side but also from behind, giving out orders that they all should be more watchful.

 _Fuck._ Ben decided to take the risk and aim again, though the enemy he earlier had wanted to shoot moved a couple steps and noticed the sniper just in time, yet he fell lifeless to the ground what made Ben release a harsh breath, mostly because he wasn't the one who shot.

Gladly, the defenders on the walls took the advantage of the Peggies being now focused on someone who was shooting them from behind, also on a crazy pyromaniac who must have burned one of their cars, that sight making the Deputy smile again, though nagging worry made him remember that he shouldn't be cheering yet.

He leaned out of his cover again, noticing that those Peggies decided to retreat because they had no chances to take over the jail when they were being attacked from so many sides, and Ben smirked. _Wonderful._

When he had been sure that it was relatively safe, he ran towards the jail, and just before he showed the defenders on the walls that he wasn’t another Peggie, he had heard a known voice of someone who he believed had died when the bullshit with Joseph Seed and his apocalypse had began.

“Don't shoot him! That’s one of my Deputies.” The Sheriff’s demanding voice rose to stop everyone who aimed at the man that was quickly approaching the jail. “Everyone, get ready, we’re not done yet, more Peggies incoming!”

Ben's face was now gifted with a huge smile as he looked up at the walls to see the man he believed had been either taken away or dead, and the Sheriff smiled down at him the moment their eyes locked, though he was currently preparing himself to shoot more intruders.

Upon reaching the door, Ben stopped in his tracks to look around with, breathing loudly. Pure worry was written on his face as he tried to find the voice in his throat, unable to form a proper sentence as stress was eating him alive. Only when he could hear enemies slowly approaching, he shoved the fear away and screamed.

“Sharky?! Sharky! Come with me!” His command seemed to feel empty, and Ben was tied up in knots as he couldn’t see his friend anywhere close, not even nearby their parked car behind the trees. He waited, long enough, too long to his liking since one car stopped by close, the enemies already aiming up at the defenders.

“Comin’!” Ben in relief released a harsh breath at the voice he thought he would again need ages to hear again, and the pyromaniac in barely seconds was already by his side. Ben let him go inside first and he himself went through the door to properly lock it afterward, wondering who the fuck left it open in the first place.

“You okay?” Ben, once he was done, asked and turned to the man who was panting loudly, clasping the shotgun in his hands while he examined the whole place all around them, squinting his eyes with a grimace. “I haven't seen you out there at all, there was only the fire.”

With that being said, Sharky glanced at the freckled man who spoke to him, and in return, he only smirked at the cowboy. It was like the best compliment he could ever get, especially since Ben rather preferred silent and stealthy approaches, and with Boshaw not being seen even by the greatest marksman Sharky had ever met, then _hell to the yeah._

It was a relief to see Ben up so close while they were in this horrific place _,_ and he decided not to leave his side at all at least as long as they were in the actual god damn jail he rather _not_ willingly visited. He moved his weight from one foot to another when Ben had asked this question, though upon Sharky not replying with anything but only smirking in return, Ben moved, and the arsonist followed him like a puppy.

The cowboy went towards a ladder to swiftly climb on the wall. Sharky waited a bit and already could hear many gunshots and screams, and people on the walls were running around like crazy as they tried their best to defend the jail. It was a thing Sharky honestly didn’t want to do but nevertheless had to help since he had agreed to be Ben’s—a darn Deputy's—companion, and secondly, he would become a dead fucking corpse if he stood only in place and waited for Peggies to burst in and to kill them all in the name of fucking _Broseph._

Adrenaline made all the work for him and he climbed the ladder so fast he was nearly kicked by Ben, and once he reached the top, he shot right upon seeing an enemy on the ground far down from where he stood.

He hid right away, kneeling by the wall, though sudden, animalistic screams of terror made him be completely sure that his bullet hadn't missed, which made his face be gifted with just another satisfied smirk.

_Hell yeah._

“Rook! They are coming from the west!” The Sheriff shouted close to Sharky’s ear—way too close to his liking—and the pyromaniac flinched, though he too followed those instructions and, after firing his weapon once more and reloading, he ran towards the western wall were two cars full of Peggies were already shooting at the Deputy he considered his best friend.

_No fuckin’ way ya fuckers._

He slid in undercover right next to Ben while the Deputy nervously clutched his sniper rifle close to his chest. He breathed loudly, his eyes seemed lost, and Sharky glanced at him for a few seconds, unsure of what to do besides to lift himself up from behind the wall, to shoot, and to cover again.

The arsonist, upon moving up, felt strong and huge hands pull him down by the hoodie and—with all honesty—he was entirely glad that they did, though he couldn't deny that this action surprised him to the core. He hadn't even managed to look where he had fired or even if he hit someone, but all the bullets that flew towards their position were enough for Sharky to know that Ben had just saved his ass. Though more of what surprised him besides that act was how the Deputy had performed his saving action or rather... how he had ended up sitting half on Ben.

The Deputy seemed not to mind that fact as he even brought him closer since the gunshots continued to sound all around them, and Sharky nearly didn't care about those piercing blasts making his ears feel as if canons kept firing inches away from him as all he focused on was Ben's strong grip on his arm, and he could tell by that hold that this was a man who knew how to workout. Daily. _Fuck me._

“Ben! Take this!” The Sheriff appeared out of nowhere, breaking Sharky's train of thoughts about Ben's muscles and training routine as the Deputy moved and caught a grenade the other man had thrown at him, though not unlocked yet. _Obviously._

The cowboy handed it to Sharky, adjusting himself so that the pyromaniac was now with his ass on the ground and not on Ben anymore, and himself the Deputy knelt down, pressing with his whole body to the wall, though he was still dangerously close to the other man. Both were careful not to get shot by accident as their eyes locked, Ben showing through the wall with his finger where to throw the grenade, and Sharky smirked and knowingly nodded at that.

A few seconds later they heard the Sheriff’s yells to protect the gate at all cost, more screams and gunshots being heard all over the place, but Ben kept staring at Sharky, waiting for him.

Sharky couldn’t stop glaring into those huge, beautiful, gray eyes which just screamed calmness at him even though all that disaster was surrounding them from every possible side.

Upon unlocking the grenade, little sparks in his eyes could be for sure seen by the Deputy, and, with all he _Boshaw Power_ he got, he threw it where both of them hoped would the two cars be located, Ben not even for a second taking his eyes off him, _waiting._

When a huge, incredibly _huge_ explosion filled their ears, both men flinching at that sudden and blaring sound, they smiled at each other. Ben bit his lip as if trying to hold back a giggle of satisfaction, and Sharky choked in a kooky laugh since he could hear one or two Peggies still being alive, screaming some prayers at them.

“Go protect the gate, Dep,” Sharky’s voice sounded through all the yells and gunshots as he prepared his shotgun. “Imma handle this the _Boshaw_ way.”

Ben smiled, again, and himself readied his weapon as he nodded at the other man and weary ran towards the gate. It was too late, though, since some of those Peggies were already inside running around the courtyard, and Ben yelled over at Sharky to watch his own back.

The gate was still up, though from what he just noticed the enemies managed to get in through the eastern wall since it wasn't protected. Ben was now in one of the guard towers, and he knelt, aimed his sniper and shot the first Peggie he saw climbing the wall. The others, the ones who already reached the courtyard, were already shot down by one of the defenders, a girl, as it came to Ben’s attention.

He waited a couple of seconds, shooting two more enemies as he had to leave his post because the Sheriff detected from afar that those fuckers prepared a truck to breach the gate. Ben looked around in search for anything useful as Sharky ran past him yelling that he got an explosive.

Ben, even though unsure of what he exactly meant by that—also hesitant from where he got it—still followed the other man to where the gate above the walls was located, though Sharky slid down the ladder, then ran towards the exit and out of the jail. He planted the explosive far enough from the defenses, but in a place where the truck would freely explode, hoping for this action to save the whole situation.

Sharky was certain this could end up with him being shot since he was out in the open field, and he could hear that Peggies were still running all around. The moment he left the building he felt that he was on aim, though he deep down _knew_ that Ben was on the wall, holding his sniper rifle and, from all of the people there, watching and covering him, making sure he was safe. This thought was comforting him, though he still would take the risk if it meant protecting his friend and his friend's friends. _Still, screw that goddamn jail._

Upon running back, he again locked the door behind himself and shot with his gun the Peggie who somewhat managed to get in who by that action shot one of the defenders. Someone quickly ran to help that man, and the arsonist could feel a little sting of guilt that he didn’t even feel that sorry about this happening.

Sharky quickly climbed the ladder, just in time to see the truck drive onto the explosive as it blew into the air, shooting the truck a bit up, the tank full of gasoline exploding right away, making the scene appear even more fantastic as the fire spread all over the scene unfolding before them.

_Fire. The most beautiful thing._

“Good job, Boshaw.” Staring into the flames, he didn't notice that the Deputy was now standing by his side, though upon hearing his voice he looked over at him. The smile on that freckled face caught him off guard yet he tried his best to keep looking at him, mostly because one, quite big freckle, grabbed his attention.

With this being said, Ben aimed his weapon and shot an approaching Peggie that was yet far from the jail and others’ reach, though as everyone on the walls already could see, with the truck being destroyed, most Peggies had decided to retreat.

The defenders upon realizing there’s no need to protect the gate anymore, no more enemies in sight, slowly started to descend the walls, helping everyone who got shot, also cleaning up all the mess that the fight had left behind. Everyone injured was taken inside where they would get proper treatment, Sheriff and another man shouting out orders.

Benjamin kept staring into the distance, hoping for no more enemies to think about attacking them again. He could already feel the adrenaline slowly pass which made him feel more tired than he had been when he had refused to sit a little bit with Sharky by his house. Right now, as he was thinking about it all, he was glad that he had refused to chill out a little with his friend because their help could have been crucial to how the events in the jail, in the end, would have occurred.

The pyromaniac again focused on the flames as he found it quite creepy to keep looking at the other man like that, though after a couple of seconds his eyes locked on the Deputy that somehow _gracefully_ kept watching whatever was lying on the horizon. If it wasn't for Ben, he wouldn't honestly set a foot in the jail's area, not to think of casually helping all the cops inside.

With all honesty, he would _die_ for Ben.

“Yeah man,” he started with a harsh voice. “Never thought I would be a freedom fighter. In a jail. Ya gettin’ it? Fuckin’ ironic.” Shaking his head, his eyes once again wandered to the yet remaining fire, though he could sense Ben moving his head to glance over at him.

“For someone who is _wanted_ by the Marshall, you fought pretty well for the jail's case.” With this Ben put his hand on Sharky's shoulder, patting him and bringing him closer as he, first of all, put down his weapon, making it rest by the wall. His hand slowly slid towards Sharky’s other shoulder which made Ben basically _embrace_ him. He continued, lowering his voice. “I will make sure you won't go back here unwillingly.”

Sharky tried to swallow the saliva that filled his whole damn mouth but even that was a hard task when he felt the other man’s touch. When Ben was closer now, way too fucking close to still call this _close_ , Sharky unconsciously leaned onto that pressure on his skin through the fabrics of his hoodie, but then Ben murmured those words and Sharky could swear that his heart skipped a beat. _Fuck._ It wasn't just because of the closeness of the cowboy, also not just because of how hot his voice seemed to be so damn near to his ear—the other man's height making quite the impression—it was _also_ because of what he had just promised.

He was shocked. First of all, Ben was aware of Sharky's criminal record—probably—but since he knew that the pyromaniac was wanted for arson and possession of firearms he must have been wise enough to know that Sharky hadn't been the best of people his whole goddamn life. Secondly, because the same Deputy had just assured him that he wouldn't allow anyone to lock Sharky in. In a quite hot voice. Whispering. Fuck. _Fuuuuck._

Unable to even form a proper sentence, Sharky was capable to mumble only a simple _"cool"_ in return, earning a giggle from the other man that didn't let go of the embrace just yet. Not that Sharky minded, he enjoyed that closeness way too much and if he could he would gladly stay like this forever, but what was going on in his mind was kind of worrying him because the way how easily Ben was able to literally shut down his mind was insane.

Suddenly the Sheriff’s voice sounded, informing that he wanted to talk with the Deputy that just saved their asses—not that it was all thanks to Boshaw—but Ben didn't let go of Sharky’s shoulder, even when he confirmed that he was already on his way.

The pyromaniac breathed, unsure of what the Deputy still wanted from him but he honestly couldn’t even move his head to look over at that freckled face.

“You did it. You saved the day, not me.” Ben corrected the Sheriff, though only Sharky could hear that whisper. He had squeezed the other man before he let go of him and left him to his own thoughts.

_Fuckin’ son of a bitch._

Ben approached the ladder, muttering towards the other man a simple order to follow him. The Deputy knew that in such circumstances none of the cops would even bother about Sharky's past nor current criminal activities, yet just in case he wanted to make sure that nobody would trouble his friend.

The fact that Sharky was wanted for arson and also for possession of firearms had never truly become Ben's concern. He was aware of this lawbreaker’s immoral behavior a little before meeting the true nature of Joseph Seed, yet he insisted to focus on other, more important things, since the pyromaniac had only burned his own properties—at least during Ben’s duties—while the cult had been doing way worse things which worried the young Deputy more. Also, when he had arrived at the Trailer Park where he had met his new friend, he had already confirmed his intentions which _hadn't_ included arresting Sharky.

Sharky followed the cowboy after he again tried to swallow whatever the fuck he stored in his mouth, shifting from one leg to another as he tried to also hide whatever his dick had decided to do when Ben’s warm breath lightly touched his face, then he clumsily walked and slid down the ladder, feeling his legs act somewhat wobbly.

Once on the ground, he quickly stepped closer to his Deputy friend as the man was already by the front door of the building, feeling much safer by this huge cowboy man by his side.

The moment they entered the corridor, he adjusted the cap on his head, biting his lower lip and clutching to his shotgun that he had picked up on his way towards the door. At the entrance was a shop on their right which earlier for sure had had another, more _prison related_ function, and Sharky noticed nearby the _cursed_ wanted poster with his face on it, his weird, colorless expression with a little smirk looking back at him at which he gave a long stare as Ben in the meantime said _“hello”_ to someone he probably knew. Or not really.

_They could’ve chosen a better picture, I look fuckin’ worse than in real life. Dicklicks._

Ben gave the impression to know this place quite notably, guiding them both through some corridors and doors to the main room where all the cells were located, though right now it all seemed more cozy and casual than what it used to look like. The cells were decorated, turned into provisional rooms filled with books and whatever other shit people who right now lived here liked. The main hall was oddly smelling like pizza and beer, and not like fear, disgust, and unending wait.

Looking around, Sharky felt something in his guts unpleasantly twitch. Right now the freedom fighters used this place as some sort of refuge but the familiar view of the interior, even tho redecorated, still made him feel at unease, though Ben’s comforting words kept resonating in his soul.

The Sheriff stood by a table with some kind of communication radio on it, trying to contact someone and in the end successfully achieving it, confirming with a satisfied tone that they had triumphed in fighting off the enemy.

“You've done well, son.” Sheriff Whitehorse turned around to face them as they approached him, looking from under his cowboy hat at the two young boys. He was smiling even though his enormous mustache was covering nearly most of his face, making it unable to see his mouth without him speaking. “Without your help, it would've been a mess, and we all owe you, Rook.”

Seeing this familiar face, seeing that the Sheriff was alive, made Benjamin’s heart jump in happiness. He stopped himself just in time before weakness overtook his senses because Ben had to stay professional in front of the Sheriff, though the urge to just hug the old man, to show him how overjoyed he was that Earl was safe and sound, it had grown way too big. It had been tough days, weeks even, without any knowledge if his colleagues were still out there, so seeing one of his coworkers—his chief—be alive, it brought a smile to his face.

Whitehorse clearly noticed that, giving the tall man another huge smile, also coming closer to put his hand on Ben's shoulder.

“I'm glad to see you're all fine, Rook,” he quietly said, his voice soft, though as he continued, his smile faded. “But it ain't over yet, there's still work to do.”

He told Ben about the Marshall and the fact that he had been taken away by the girl known as Faith, information of which the Deputy was already aware of since he had met both the girl and the Marshall in the Bliss, though he decided not to mention that. Earl went on, talking about the Angels and the serious problems the whole existence of Bliss had caused, and that Ben should talk to others because they for sure would have work to give him, in case Ben wanted to help more.

After that Earl with a way more quiet tone asked his Deputy how he was feeling, which caught Sharky’s attention again since he had stopped to listen to their quite boring conversation as he was nervously looking around, recognizing a couple of cells where he used to unwillingly stay. The pyromaniac knew that he wouldn't go back here any time soon, at least only with the Deputy by his side, yet fear and sickness was creeping up on his back the longer they stayed here.

As he was still standing beside those two cops, those two somewhat ignoring his presence, he glanced up at Ben, noticing there a sad smile.

“Tired,” Ben sighed, “also hungry, not to mention thirsty.” Sharky's own belly nervously growled at the mention of hunger as the Deputy touched the right side of his belly with his hand, and as he noticed only now, Ben must have left his sniper rifle somewhere during their short march into this building.

Clutching close to his own weapon, he cursed himself in his mind for letting Ben fight without eating or drinking first. _Fuck me._ That wasn't the smartest move, especially considering that Ben was for sure still weak—as he himself now confirmed—from the encounter with lots of Bliss, though he kept refusing to say a word about that to the old man.

Sharky, with all honesty, wanted to mention that, to make the Sheriff be aware that Ben shouldn’t go out any time soon and that he should get proper rest before they both continue with their crazy redemption mission. What was too much was too much even for Ben and Sharky himself had already lived through his friend's physical breakdown which he honestly didn't want to encounter again.

Thankfully, the Sheriff proposed them both to get something to eat, pizzas lying all around the main hall of the jail as Ben already went toward one table to get himself a slice. Sharky followed, though unsure if he could take a bite too but before he could even properly think of what he should do or not before the Sheriff arrested him, Ben shoved into his hand one slice as well.

“Suit yourself, it's probably your best stay in here.” Ben took a bite, savoring the taste even though the pizza was already cold.

“Pizza in jail? Fuckin’ Christmas.” They consumed in silence, and Sharky found himself some beer which he hungrily sipped and Ben was given water—a girl brought him a couple of bottles which he gladly accepted.

Once they were finished, eating at least three whole pizzas, with Sharky draining two beers and Ben one huge bottle of water, the pyromaniac made himself comfortable on the stairs, prepping his shotgun on the handrail while the Deputy walked over to the Sheriff.

“Feeling better?” Earl asked, putting down the device with which he unsuccessfully tried to reach someone.

“Yeah, lots better. Thank you for the care, Sheriff.” Ben glanced over at the radio, biting his lip and remembering about an important matter, also thinking about how his own walkie-talkie had got destroyed by John's people. “Sheriff, could I please try to contact someone?”

“Dutch, huh? He contacted me a couple of weeks ago, informing that one of my Deputies was wreaking havoc to all Peggies in Holland Valley, and not long ago must have moved over to Henbane River.” Earl started to elaborate with a smile on his face as he looked up at the young man. “I was wondering who it was but with all honesty, I didn't assume it was you, Ben.”

Squinting his eyes, the young Deputy stared at the Sheriff as the old man stepped away from the device, giving Benjamin access to it. He also made sure to find the right canal to contact Dutch right before giving the younger man space.

“Why not?” Asking with curiosity in his voice, Ben didn't move from his spot at all. His eyes were focused on the Sheriff’s eyes, seeing there the tiredness the current events had caused. Benjamin was confused by his statement, though, he was unsure of what he exactly had meant by not believing it had been him who had helped out so many people in need.

“I didn't get to know you for long before this shit happened, but I managed to realize you have a gentle soul, Ben.” Earl put his hand on the young man's shoulder, squeezing it in a friendly manner. “I didn't kill a human being up until now, and I have a feeling that neither did you.”

After that remark, Ben speculated about it because the Sheriff wasn't wrong to say that _yes,_ before those horrific events with Peggies basically going crazy, Ben wouldn't hurt an innocent soul, even people that he could kill in advance of protecting himself always in the end had given up, Ben having zero problems with stopping people before they hurt him up until now. Now killing had become routine. Ben had his sniper rifle nearly all the time ready, and if not that, his gun was.

Though with all honesty, he didn't enjoy that at all, and with this Earl was completely right, and after a long while of staring at the old man, he nodded.

“Dutch is exaggerating,” Ben said, “I'm only helping people in need.” Smiling for the last time at the Sheriff, he took the device to his hand and spoke. “Dutch? You there? It's me, Deputy Deans.”

He talked to the other person, informing him about the current events and what had happened during those days when he hadn't been in contact, also letting him know how he had lost contact with him and why. Sharky became his friend which also was mentioned during this speech, and in the end, Ben asked if there was anything seriously urgent in the closest area that he could do. He gave the Sheriff a look who still stood beside, listening to all what Ben announced—yet both waited for the other man to answer—and all of that, including their earlier speech, was being watched and listened to by Sharky. Not eavesdropped. He just… idly sat there and listened.

Sharky wanted to learn more about the Deputy since he mostly wasn't talking about his own life _that_ much—at least as much as the pyromaniac wished he did—so hearing those three talk was like his only chance. He didn't find out much though, he knew that Ben was… special when it came to handling enemies, and that he rather avoided killing them though sometimes it simply wasn’t working out, yet it was nice to hear that Ben had—how the Sheriff named it—a gentle soul.

Smiling at that and being lost in his own thoughts, he didn't realize when Ben actually left the room with the Sheriff standing now right in front of him.

“Whaddup, Sheriff?” He snapped and scoffed. The Sheriff, well, police overall, were his nemesis and he couldn't help himself but act defensive among this kind of people—except for Ben because Ben was different. The best cop there was.

“Listen up, Boshaw.” Earl started with a warning tone and it was clear he wasn't happy with Sharky running around the jail like this, eating their food and drinking their beer, yet he didn't take out his cuffs yet. _Yet._ “I don't trust you and I'm having an eye on you, you understand?.”

“Yeah sure thing,” Sharky said. “I don't trust ya either, _po po.”_ Leaning forward, he rested his elbows on his knees to look the Sheriff into his old, tired eyes, somewhat confronting him as he fidgeted the rings with his thumb.

Sharky after a way too long and silent while hid his hand in his pocket to find there a pack of cigarettes, pulling out one. The Sheriff quickly grabbed it, taking it before the pyromaniac had the chance to take out his lighter as well and Sharky flinched at that sudden motion, straightening himself with a huff to look at the old cowboy man, eyes wide. His nose wrinkled and he pouted at what had just happened, remaining oddly silent.

“Hurt my Deputy and I swear to you, your damn life here in the jail will get worse.” The mustache man leaned even closer to utter those words at him, adjusting the glasses on his nose. “I have no damn clue of what he sees in you, but you bet that once we're done here you two gotta separate.”

The pyromaniac stared into the Sheriff’s eyes considering how he should answer to whatever he had just declared, glancing down at the cigarette the old man had just crushed in his hand. He stood up, proudly picking up his shotgun that he had left by his side, and by performing that motion he towered over Ben’s mentor, standing one step above ground. His face was still gifted with a huge grimace as he lowered his voice for only the Sheriff to hear his answer.

“Noted, Sheriff.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aw always, thank you for reading, my wonderful peeps~! <3


	7. The River Flows in You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shenanigans in the jail may finally end and the boys decide it is time to head North.

They─the Deputy and the Sheriff─had come to a decision that whatever they would choose to do, it wouldn't be enough. Hope County was crying out for help, many innocent living beings were put to danger, many people were captured, threatened, drugged, murdered… Ben would need to split in half, and even this would make him only be two people against an army of cultist that were day by day ready to die in the name of their leader.

Ben, on the other side, was _just_ a cop.

Many urgent cases that needed to be done as fast as possible hadn’t helped Ben to calm down at all, yet his sleep at the prison had been one of the calmest since a long time. Once well rested, he had planned out his route together with Earl, with Sharky sitting nearby and eating another cold pizza slice for breakfast as both Ben and the Sheriff had come to a decision that the Deputy would first need to be prepared, well fed and rested, to later properly help others. The Deputy couldn't simply end up getting killed while trying his best to save the County, especially while being completely on his own─this would be suicide.

Sharky was already a huge help, much to Earl’s dislike that his Deputy had chosen this exact man, a wanted by the Marshall arsonist, to fight by his side, though Earl had agreed that one more person would be enough to make it all seem more reasonable for Ben to fight off enemies and to bring back peace to their County. Enough people to fight off Peggies and at the same time enough people to run around in a quite stealthy way. Perfect.

Before all that planning, the pyromaniac had gotten a cell to rest there together with the Deputy and he couldn’t even lie… Sharky wouldn't even accept anything like that if Ben hadn’t been with him.

Now he was lying while nervously clutching to his shotgun, not even thinking about undressing neither his pants nor his hoodie, though he took off his boots, at least.

Sharky, all that time when Ben was walking around the place to prepare for sleep, was settled in his hanged bed, having a perfect view at the whole environment which was still not─and would never be─so pleasantly looking even though some posters and other ordinary decorations embellished the cell.

His eyes followed every little move the Deputy, who was now facing Sharky, made. The pyromaniac looked at those huge palms as he was slowly unbuttoning his shirt, fuck, he _waited_ for Ben to reveal whatever was underneath, wondering if he had freckles all over his body. He was so insanely curious to see more of Ben that he bit his lip, shifting a little on his bed to try and hide most of his face beneath the blanket that he was given, feeling his cheeks warm up with each button being unbuttoned. With all honesty, he didn't want for the Deputy to feel that he was being watched, and Sharky deep down thought he should give Ben some deserved privacy, yet he couldn't help himself and kept glancing like an idiot.

_Fuck._

Before the shirt fell to the ground, Ben turned so that his muscular back faced now the two beds in the cell, and Sharky moved nervously. Again. He couldn't get his eyes off of this huge man with those insanely broad shoulders, and freckles indeed were all over his body. He eyed him, noticing that the dark dots, some places covered more, the others less, and with his eyes of imagination, he pictured himself tracing with his fingers some of those freckles.

_Fuck no._

Ben was now busy folding his shirt, his movements were slow and somewhat passionate, though Sharky couldn't see how neatly the piece of Ben's outfit ended up being folded. He noticed though a glimpse of something shiny around the Deputy's neck, probably a necklace or something like that, he couldn't honestly tell, he reached with his hand to his own golden neckwear, playing with it to ease his nervousness.

Suddenly Sharky heard how Ben unbuckled his pants, and he’d swallowed so loud he swore Ben for sure heard him do that. The pants, after some more maneuvering of the Dep’s hands, eventually dropped, revealing more muscles and _more freckles._ Sharky shifted a bit, trying to get a better view and to see Ben _whole._

The Deputy turned around, searching for his backpack he’d left by the two beds and Sharky, like a scared puppy, quickly hid his whole head underneath the blanket, feeling out of sudden like a fucking _teenager_ that just got caught. Sharky though heard a muffled giggle through all the noise he himself had made while trying to cover both himself and his obviously red face.

“Are you comfy up there?” Ben asked, surprised that the other man was completely hidden under the blanket and since he himself was impressively tall, he could see the other man whole even though he was lying on a bed high above ground. “I can give you another blanket... or my hoodie, if you want.”

 _Fuck._ Hearing the other man he realized that Ben must have come to the realization that Sharky was a nasty creep that was watching the huge man casually undress in the cell they _fucking_ shared. He cleared his throat, a little too loud for his own sanity, and he revealed his face that sure as hell was currently as red as the red stripes on the American flag. “'m fine.” He mumbled, unconsciously looking down at Ben's black underwear. _Fuuuuuck._

“You sure? You seem to be, well… cold.” Ben insisted and insisting brushed his curls away from his forehead, doing this motion at least a hundred times a day as Sharky—as the creep he was—had already noticed.

“Yeah, I'm just, uhh…” Sharky started, seriously unsure of what to say. “I feel comfy like that, yeah. I like to, uh… I like to… to cuddle a blanket, yeah, cause, cause ya know, uhh...” _Cause ya fucking suck at explainin’ things while there's a nearly naked dude in front of ya, good fuckin’ job, Boshaw._ His mind yelled at him, and he mentally slapped himself for even trying to reason why he was covered like that.

Ben smiled, revealing his white teeth as he mumbled an _“okay”_ but with all that ended up too flushed to keep staring at the pyromaniac as he picked up his backpack to carry it to his previous standing spot. Folding now also his jeans, he took out his hoodie because he could feel goosebumps on his skin, and then packed all the rest of his clothes. He gave Sharky another look, seeing that this man didn't move at all, staring at him.

He tilted his head, and the smile yet didn’t leave his face. “Enjoying the view?” Finding some odd bravery, because of sudden growth of confidence that he was being watched _like that_ , he threw the question at the arsonist.

Sharky felt now as if it was Ben who had slapped him right into his flushed face. _Fuckin' hell._ He gulped loudly, his eyes wide open, and he shifted once again trying to think of an answer that wouldn't sound too stupid. Clearing his throat a tad too loudly, he moved to hide deeper in his bed where the light wasn't reaching him, hoping for the shadows to cover his blush.

“Yeah—I mean, course not, _fuck I mean,_ you're, uh... standin’ there, and I'm just—”

“Don’t explain yourself, Sharky, it's fine.” Sharky eyed the other man as his hand moved up to brush the curls away, and two fairly distinguishing features caught the flushed man's attention. On his belly, left from his belly button, was a huge scar, and it didn't seem _that_ old as Sharky honestly wished it was. _Damn._ It looked quite serious, but the whole situation was already so ridiculous he bit his lip hard before he spilled more bullshit out of his mouth. Ben's chest, as Sharky also sadly noticed, was gifted with a quite fresh tattoo of one of the seven deadly sins, _wrath._

_John. Motherfuckin’ ass lickin’ city boy._

The Deputy realized that the other man didn't look at exactly _him,_ only stared at the tattoo about which he had nearly forgotten. That made his face immediately drop, remembering the pain he had felt when John had marked him, not to mention that humiliation and that helplessness when Ben had been unable to stop John nor save his co-worker from the hands of this fucker.

Ben grabbed the warm hoodie, slipping himself inside as he felt his blush getting out of control, and he quickly retreated to his own bed once he was done with running around the whole cell only to ready himself to sleep. He took the thin blanket, shuffling around to make himself comfortable only to find out that the bed was a tad too short. Not to mention the goddamn blanket. He grunted, mumbling some curses at how uncomfy this hard bed felt against his back.

“Ya get used to it, spend a couple days here, po po, and ya will see.” He could hear Sharky's whisper from up above, along with a giggle as the pyromaniac for sure registered Ben's unpleasant noises, swear words, and nervous shuffles.

“Shut up,” he snapped back, though along with it laughed which eased his sudden self-conscious thoughts about his scarred and damaged body. “The last house we slept in had the comfiest bed I ever slept on, no joke.” Ben turned to the side, trying to curl up into a ball to at least fool his body into believing it wasn’t that bad here. _You slept even in random cars, Ben. Don't be such a princess._ His mind reminded him, and he adjusted the pillow, turning it to the other side, hearing now that also the arsonist moved around.

“And ya right off the bat threw my butt out to sleep on the borin’ hard sofa, thanks, dude.” Ben smiled even though his eyes were already closed, remembering that day fairly vividly when he had been close to proposing for both of them to just sleep together in bed, yet something had stopped him before he’d opened his mouth. He didn’t regret not saying a thing though; that night hadn’t been easy on him since he had had a nightmare, unable to sleep afterward and the last thing he’d wanted had been to disturb Sharky’s sleep as well.

“Sorry, next time you’ll get to sleep on the comfiest bed there is, promises.”

And with that, silence between them, at last, fell, yet Ben even though his eyes were tired and his body relaxed, couldn’t drift into sleep at all. His mind was giving him images of Sharky squirming underneath him as he pictured himself kissing the warm and rough skin of his neck, touching his broad shoulders as he slowly moved down to kiss his clavicle, their cocks firmly rubbed together, moans filled the cell…

He jumped as if struck by a lightning, a curse on his lips. _Fuck._ He got so lost in his thoughts that he only now realized that his hand was deeply buried in his underwear, stroking his own already half-hard dick with care.

Shame rapidly overtook him, making him turn around to face the wall as he tried to convince himself that Sharky hadn't heard him masturbate, yet he wasn’t so sure if he hadn't accidentally moaned by doing so. _Fuck, fuck, fuck._ He wanted to punch himself, he shouldn’t be imagining himself with another man, especially not with Sharky, his friend, his goddamn companion. He had had a couple of small adventures with other men, he couldn’t deny it, yet he had decided it was over now.

_No more men in my life, no more._

But Sharky… he was making him happy, not only on the physical level, but he could feel butterflies making him feel nauseous─in a good way─every single time they were closer than necessary. He was fairly confused about what he should do with his own feelings going crazy about the pyromaniac, he wanted him, denial was no more an option, and at the same time… he was suspecting that Sharky wanted him too, yet his mind kept telling him he shouldn’t allow himself for his feelings to develop further.

_How in the world am I supposed to stop the unstoppable?_

 

Their sleep had been peaceful. Nobody had bothered them neither during the night nor in the morning and nobody even had thought about waking them up so that they could continue their mission. Once they finally woke up and prepared themselves to leave, they left the jail well fed, well rested and with huge smiles on their faces.

“Sooo… where are we headin’ now?” Once settled in the car they’d used yesterday to get to the jail, Sharky carefully asked, yet unsure of their current plans for the upcoming couple of days. “Gettin’ some beer, weed, maybe even some hoes before we hit the road? Okay _fuck,_ forget I asked, got carried away.” Sharky bit his own tongue firmly, forgetting every so often that Ben was a cop. A goddamn cop to whom he had just proposed a fairly illegal thing─ _things._

Ben, before the car roared, laughed loudly. _God, how could Sharky be so goddamn cute?_ That simple thought made his face get hotter than the currently yet cold engine, so he hid his face by glancing left, also adjusting his hat, away from the pyromaniac who─as he had noticed in the barely visible reflection of the car’s window─also looked away.

“In this exact order or doesn’t matter to you?” Ben asked, driving down the road towards the main way. That question made the other man giggle lowly, a sound that made Ben’s guts burn in something unknown to him… desire? _No._ That was something else. Something… deeper, low in his belly, though not connected to his currently resting cock.

_Love._

That realization wasn’t especially new, though he mentally chided himself for thinking of that again. It couldn’t be love, _shouldn't_ be. It was yet to soon to call it by name. Maybe a crush, at most. A foolish, teenager crush to a person of the same sex that he should cease before he let it develop into something more.

“Ya know, didn’t know ya smoke weed,” his voice gently eased the silence. Sharky, with a satisfied sigh, lowered himself in his seat, putting his cap and one leg of his on the dashboard, with his shotgun placed between his legs. He fidgeted with his rings on his fingers, smiling because of their little conversation. Or so Ben hoped.

“Seriously?” He snorted. “Whores aren’t a thing that worry you?” The Deputy couldn't tell if this was jealousy who spoke instead of him but the simple thought of Sharky enjoying a couple of women was driving Ben’s mind crazy.

_Stop. You can’t be jealous just because you have a fucking crush._

Another giggle.

Sharky adjusted himself on his seat as they’d spotted an enemy’s car on the horizon which right away had made both of them go silent and focus on trying to stay hidden. Tensing, Ben squeezed the wheel, his imagination already handing him a few unpleasant scenarios. They succeeded though, the enemies hadn’t noticed a thing, and these two ended up giving each other a short glance before Sharky snickered, loosening up a bit again.

“I mean,” he started, holding his stare on Ben a tad longer than necessary. “Dude, look at ya, you’re quite the catch.”

That simple statement made Ben choke in a cough and his body tensed again as his head swayed to the left repeatedly. _Quite the catch._ Hearing compliments wasn’t new to him because he had had many partners over the time, partners that had stayed only for a short time, to give him a blowjob, to kiss, just to stay around… they all had called him handsome, and if not by words then obviously had shown it by actions, but Ben himself… he didn’t feel like that, and those words on Sharky’s lips made a huge difference though.

None of those people had been truly close to him in any more or less friendly way. Some were just randoms he had met on the street, randoms he had helped, randoms that had wanted a quick fuck which had ended with Ben refusing, the Deputy unable to agree on that certain sexual act. They had been making out though, blowjobs, fingerings, simple kisses here and there, Ben simply had never left them unsatisfied, but fucking? That was out of topic even if they had called him the most handsome person alive.

Sharky… he was his friend─a moderately close one, by this point. He got caught up in him, caring for the pyromaniac, _wanting_ his happiness, his best and safety. God, he simply had feelings for him, it wasn’t love, _certainly_ not love, though some feelings nonetheless. That made things divergent, and _all that_ made that simple _compliment_ mean way more to Ben.

“Well…” The way ahead was oddly peaceful as Ben again interrupted the blissful silence. ”Whores don’t give a damn about your looks, do they? All they see is your thick wallet.” Stating the obvious, as he hoped, he again gave his partner in crime a look. He noticed a smirk, Sharky’s hand gently brushing against his own pants which made the Deputy quickly glance down.

“Yeah, I guess─so what?” Sharky snapped back, shifting a little in his seat as if trying to hide his growing erection, a thing that flashed through Ben’s mind even though he really tried not to think of dicks now. “Doesn’t change a thing like dude, fuckin’ look into the mirror sometimes.”

The pout that spread on the pyromaniac’s face earned a giggle coming from Ben’s mouth, though after a second he pulled over, noticing a couple of Peggies that were holding someone captive. Not to be spotted, he quietly left the car with not even bothering to close the door, also nodded at Sharky to stay inside. He then aimed his sniper rifle, and with the breeze gently coldening his cheeks, he released his breath and shot. The sound caught by the wind flew towards eastern areas of Hope County, where mountains painted over the sky proudly stood, watching the time pass.

Ben shot again, catching the remaining enemy before they took cover and before they also noticed the parked car and someone shooting them. Hearing a clap coming from the car, he hid the sniper rifle inside, taking out his gun out of his holster to jog towards the tied person.

“It’s okay, you’re free now. Go find refugee in the jail, they’ll help you.” Ben gently spoke, trying to calm down the scared woman as she looked up at him with huge, scared eyes. She thanked him with a breaking voice, finding last bits of courage to pick up an assault rifle one of the Peggies dropped, and right after she headed towards the jail, thanking Ben one last time.

The Deputy collected himself and slowly walked back towards the car and thus he noticed that Sharky left the vehicle, leaning lazily on the door and smoking a cigarette, though his shotgun was ready in his other hand to blast enemies any given moment. He gently waved at the cop approaching him, mumbling a “whaddup”, though Sharky seemed quite… shaken.

Ben looked around. Not far from him was lying a dead person. An Angel, to be exact.

“Jesus, Sharky, you okay?” Ben caught his breath once he examined with his eyes the situation which unfolded before him, fear boiling low in his belly once he also noticed that the window from the passenger’s side was broken. “Show yourself.” His voice was sore.

Ben cupped his face, searching for any signs of wounds the shattered glass could cause. He moved Sharky’s head to the sides, gently brushing with his thumbs on places he could swear something glistered at him, realizing it _were_ little bits of glass, though too small to cause any trouble. He then took Sharky’s cap off, putting it on top of their car.

“Hey… hey! I’m fine, dude _─Ben,_ fuckin’─” Sharky started to properly protest only when Ben ruffled his hair and, just as the Deputy had assumed, a couple of little shards fell down, and Ben, as huge he was, investigated his scalp to be sure if none of those dangerous bits didn’t stick into his skin. Thankfully, nothing had hurt Sharky, and once Ben realized that he again glanced at the pyromaniac’s face, this time with a more conscious expression and a much clearer mind.

Sharky was blushing really bad thus their closeness finally hit Ben, and the fear that settled profoundly in his guts currently got replaced with pure awkwardness and hotness. Gulping loudly, he also realized he kept his hands on Sharky’s sides of his face, and he couldn’t stop himself to once again brush his thumb against that warm skin of his.

Unable to tell what Sharky truly was thinking of that situation and their sudden idle intimacy, he looked deep into his blue eyes, seeing there fear mixed up with unease but also...

_No._

Ben jumped away slightly, mumbling a silent sorry as he collected himself and anxiously smiled down at the pyromaniac. He told him to get back inside of the vehicle, the one with the currently broken window─with no other, better choice─but Sharky kept standing in place, staring at the Deputy. His eyes were wide open, his mouth a little gape, with his face completely red from the huge blush that spread even down on his neck.

Ben only now realized that the pyromaniac dropped his weapon to the ground, and he bit his lip, closing the distance between them to pick it up and shove into Sharky’s shaking hands. “Sharky, you sure you’re fine?” The Deputy again looked down into those lost blue eyes, and Sharky right away got a grip and cleared his throat.

“No─I mean, yeah. ‘m fine.” The smaller man had to clear his throat to even be able to speak up. The silence that again fell between them nervously crept on Ben’s cheeks, and Ben was aware his blush was way more visible to the other man on his horribly pale and freckled skin. “Uhh… I’m, uh─he, that angel... fucker scared the fuck outta me, yeah, but I shot that ugly, creepy face and uh, ya know, he’s deadly dead now. Like, gone. Forever. _Adiós.”_

“Okay, let’s… let’s get back to work.” Ben managed to giggle at how Sharky successfully tried to save the situation between them, the awkwardness becoming nearly too much to handle.

Both settled themselves back into the currently damaged car, the engine roaring in the area as they continued their journey up north, which a couple of miles later made Sharky drop his topic about how mad he was that his incendiary bullet hadn't properly worked on the Angel that had ruined their vehicle.

“Dude, no way,” he interrupted himself, “we’re headed to Drubman’s?!” His excitement rose so much he moved in his seat, and the wind that suddenly flew through the forever open window made his cap nearly fall off, which he was glad he remembered to collect from the car’s roof.

“Is this bothering you? We can go back help some─”

 _“Fuck no!_ That’s awesome!”

Ben couldn’t stop to smile seeing how that news excited the pyromaniac. He should─both of them should─take care of way more important and more urgent cases but even the Sheriff agreed Ben needed more help, another companion, and the closest, proper person willing to do so was Hurk, Sharky’s cousin.

“Maaaan, but…” He’d been babbling like crazy, though finally he sighed and calmed down a bit. “Ya sure ‘bout this? I mean, it won’t get me down if we don’t, ya know.”

“Sharky, drop it.” Ben fished out his phone out of his pocket, glad that he’d decided to use a tad of electricity in the jail to charge it, pulling over only to take a picture of the landscape unfolding in front of them, the beauty of the mountains painted against the surface of the river so vividly working on Ben’s imagination that he had to capture that.

Once back in the car, he smiled at the confused expression Sharky threw at him. “I’m just executing orders, Sheriff Whitehorse told me it’s best to have two companions on my way which I… well, already had before.”

“Ya... _had?”_

“Yes, Nick Rye and Grace Armstrong helped me in Holland Valley not long before us two met,” Ben admitted, and a sting of sadness mixed up with longing filled his heart. He missed his two friends, helping him and just being nice company on the way.

“Damn, had no clue ya met them, even no clue they’re still rockin’,” the pyromaniac exclaimed, though his voice dropped. “What, what happened? Why are ya not with ‘em anymore?”

They were getting close to the place where Hurk currently lived or, to be exact, his father’s estate, and Ben precisely explained to Sharky what had happened that they parted, that he simply couldn’t expose their lives so considerably anymore, especially not Nick’s since he had a wife and a child soon to be born, and this confession made the pyromaniac stare in silence at him.

“It’s… I─” Ben started, his mind yelling at him to clarify more. “I care about you just as much, don’t feel… don’t feel like I’m not scared for your life because I fucking _am.”_

He pulled over not far from the house, yet far enough not to expose themselves to the Drubmans that for sure were guarding their place, and since Ben used a car painted in EG’s crosses, he had to stay vigilant.

“I’m dead worried that I’ll lose you.” It felt like something so easy to say after so many incidents that had already happened, these words just hanging in the void, waiting to get off Ben’s chest.

Ben, after that confession, finally moved his head to look at the pyromaniac who was blankly staring at the dashboard, clutching to his shotgun. He saw him swallow his saliva, focused on that one certain spot, then gently part his lips to mutter only two words out. _“Me too.”_

Just seeing him like that Ben found last bits of courage that he stored inside of himself, therefore decided to shift a little closer, finding Sharky’s warm hand. He took it into his, giving the other man a light squeeze along with a smile once the pyromaniac with a surprised face glanced at him.

“We’re going to go through this, and none will lose the other, okay? We’re going to be _fine._ ” They stared into each other’s eyes for a moment, and Ben’s hold lingered for a couple, long, _lifelong_ seconds, until he knew it was _too much_ and eventually withdrew his hand, getting out of the car and taking along his weapon.

Sharky took a while before he exited the car after the Deputy, clutching to his shotgun even more than before and following Ben like a scared puppy, just like by the jail. They headed towards the house, Sharky taking the wheel and going forth before them so that the Drubmans would see that they were no threat incoming.

At least kind of, as the pyromaniac would joke.

They arrived, and Hurk Sr. greeted them with a couple not so pleasant words, and Ben’s face immediately dropped at how similar this man sounded to his own father. He stared at the old man with a fairly blank face, his fists clenched, and sweat appeared on his forehead as he tried hard to swallow the longing in his mouth saliva.

_Richard Deans. You’ll forever haunt me, right?_

“So, ya two, these Peggies be rockin’ the boat and went a fuckin’ bit too far, annoyin’ me, stealin’ my goddamn possession, so go grab the _excuse of my son_ and bring our gorgeous Nancy home,” Senior’s voice rang in the air again, and Ben with the corner of his eye saw Sharky look around to find his cousin, and he indeed must have spotted his frame since the pyromaniac left Ben’s side nearly right away. “Now, _be gone,_ oh and, don’tcha forget to say a good word or two about me, ya know, election’s comin’, now shoo before more of them Peggies come’ere!”

Ben stared at him dangerously long before be moved away, looking for his companion and his cousin that he─at this point─wasn’t so eager to meet anymore, and he didn’t let go of his clenched fists as he vigorously tried to hold back all the curses that formed on his tongue. _Fuck._ Hurk Sr. fairly too much reminded him of his own father just by the way he spoke, also by how he called his own _son._ It made Ben feel nauseous, memories flooding back to him as he walked towards _something,_ he couldn’t even tell what, thinking and remembering his childhood.

“...and we fuckin’, like, like burned them all, like─dude I swear, we rocked that day,” Sharky’s voice was audible enough for Ben to catch it, though he was yet too numb to register anything. “No, but─he’s cool, like, he’s a cop, _fine,_ I getcha, but man, _listen,_ for a cop dude’s the _best._ ”

“Sharky did ya drink Bliss or what? You’re, _fuck_ you’re friends with a po po now? Jeez you should, Sharky, you seriously gotta see a doctor, guess your brain’s completely burned from the lack of sex in your life or maybe even ya…ya didn’t─”

“Hey, hey ya knock it off, dude, knock it _the fuck_ off! I’m, I’m fuckin’... ya listen here─” Ben finally approached them, seeing those two standing by a weird looking table on which a couple of papers were abandoned, a half bitten and _days-old_ hamburger resting on them, and many bottles of beer decorated the whole place, some empty, others full. Above it a poorly cut board was hanging, an even more poorly _‘Hurk’s Gate’_ painted on it, well, actually, _many_ boxes filled with─as Ben assumed─random stuff were all around them, creating even sort of a wall, with some gibberish written on each.

“Damn Sharky, that’s a fuckin’ giant, not a cop.” Was all the chubby man said upon giving the Deputy a proper look. “Cousin, ya sure ya ain’t drunk? Dude’s like a basketball player─hi big bro, ya─”

 _“I fuckin’ swear to motherf─”_ Sharky protested loudly, though Ben stood beside him, lightly brushing with his hand on his forearm─though fairly close to his palm─to make the pyromaniac drop the topic. Sharky, as if enchanted, right away obeyed.

“Good day to you, Hurk, my name’s Ben,” the huge man decided to interrupt their little conversation completely, giving them out orders right away as the Deputy he was. “We have a car to retrieve, right?”

“Damn right we do, my daddy’s gonna kill me if we don’t get it back like, _A.S.A.P._ ” Hurk spelled each letter of the shortcut which made Ben giggle a bit, though a string of pain reached his heart as he remembered the words Hurk’s dad had exclaimed talking about his own son. Words he so well remembered from his own past.

As the huge cowboy had now a clearer view at them both, he could observe how alike these two cousins were, looking nearly like brothers, just that Hurk appeared to be way chubbier, also a tad smaller than Sharky─enough for Ben to think of him as _tiny._ The Deputy couldn’t assume their exact age, though Hurk by appearance seemed to be older, and, well, they even shared the same, _literally_ the same beard style, which amused Ben, yet he didn’t say a word about his thoughts as Hurk started to babble a lot of bullshit about himself and his daddy, leading them towards a car parked in their huge garage.

Ben sat on the passenger’s seat, forcing Sharky to sit on the backseat while Hurk, of course, took the wheel.

“So, how did ya two meet? No, no, hol’ up, don’t say it, Imma make a bet... so I bet Sharky burned your property, then ya two decided to make Sharky join your team to work off the casualties he’s done to ya and your whole family, killing off your wife and like five children or─how many children did ya have? Nevermind, and you instead of mourning their deaths decided to go together with my cousin _full John Wick_ on the Peggies, all that cause Sharky burned the house cause my cousin thought it belonged to Peggies, tho turned out he wiped out just another family from Hope County, though I never saw ya before so maybe my cousin did it when I was deep in business in Kyrat… so how is it?” Ben ended up being a laughing mess as he already realized Hurk was just as fucked up as Sharky, and he knew by now he would have a lot of fun together with these two, though also slightly worried if their team wouldn't cause more trouble in Hope County than good.

Ben, while deep in laughing, turned back to look at the pyromaniac who sat there, arm’s crossed and with a huge pout on his face, staring through the window into nothing. This made the Deputy stop his laugh, yet a smile remained on his face.

“We burned Angel’s together, turning the whole Trailer Park into the biggest barbecue Hope County, oh, _damn me,_ maybe even the whole _country_ ever saw.” Ben quickly corrected the driver, seeing right now that Sharky’s expression turned into the biggest smirk.

“Damn right we fuckin’ did, so shut ya mouth, _Hurkules.”_ Sharky chided, kicking the driver’s seat that earned a loud protest from Hurk.

They finally sat in silence, and Ben thought about what Hurk had said. He laughed, _yes,_ mostly of how _ridiculously ridiculous_ it all sounded. That man literally had made up a whole crazy story just because he had wanted to babble more bullshit to annoy his cousin. Yet deep down, in a way, it had hurt Ben, anything that was family related made his soul ache for what he’d lost a long time ago, but… last thing he wanted was to ruin the mood, so he nervously bit his cheeks on the insides, trying to focus on their current mission.

 

It all went surprisingly smoothly, to Ben’s surprise, though by all means not without fun because Ben enjoyed every second together with these two cousins, and, as Ben had already noticed, Hurk made no difference in Sharky’s behavior─that man was forever just _himself._

The zip line adventure left them all in giggles, and Sharky happened to use Ben as his support not to fall from all that laughter. Hurk slapped his face on the tree to which the zip line was connected to, making Sharky laugh half of the way down. That touch lingered on Ben’s chest, feeling how Sharky more or less used the laugh as an excuse to feel what was beneath Ben’s flannel. The Deputy didn’t mind that though, not the slightest, he even _wanted_ to feel more, by all honesty. He started to get used to their closeness, he got aware of how much Sharky meant to him, also Sharky had confirmed how much Ben meant to him. It was easier to accept it now, knowing how their care for each other was equal.

At least Ben truly hoped it was.

A crush… he couldn’t tell yet if whatever Sharky was doing, his acts, words, if _anything_ he had done before sincerely meant a thing, maybe Ben was just seeing things and making them up, only _imagined_ that Sharky was closer, that his touch lingered, that he stared... He was unsure, he was so unsure, and he had no idea─especially now with Hurk’s presence─how to deal with his emotions and how to find out what Sharky’s feelings were about. Ben had _no clue_ if he wanted for things to go this exact way as he was believing the things were going, he rather stayed single, especially during such dangerous times, yet… _God,_ he couldn’t deny it anymore. He had an obvious crush and he had to do something with that.

What exactly - he couldn’t tell. For now, he should focus on rescuing Hope from its current biggest enemy.

_Joseph Seed._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for readin, folks~!


	8. Lightning up the Bonfire

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A huge step towards... well, not even Hurk can tell what.

The sun was already setting when the three freedom fighters had decided that it was time to call it a day, finding an empty, abandoned camping field. There were several tents, all left in hurry — because of how messy the environment around them looked like — bottles were lying all around, the bonfire was left with yet remaining grill sticks to roast sausages or marshmallows, some clothes, backpacks, all that camping shit… Nearby were also a couple of buildings, some bigger holiday cottages, as much abandoned as the tents, all of these were the only remains of people who had once chilled here before all that bullshit with the Peggies had happened.

Sharky noticed a corpse, calling Hurk to help him out as he knew that Ben would busy himself with preparing the bonfire for their use, also occupy his thoughts by going through the remains to find anything useful. Also Ben was religious, in his own personal way, a thing the pyromaniac had already caught in the Dep’s behavior, taking ages to even move the dead to another spot to give them there a proper burial, losing himself in that for hours at times. He didn’t judge the Deputy though, he ― as the cop he was ― for sure felt responsible for those people, and Sharky was more than aware of that, yet they were losing time doing such a human thing, losing time they could all use to rest.

Hurk helped the pyromaniac pick up the corpse, grabbing the poor man’s legs as Sharky, with a loud grunt, grabbed the person under his pits. They wouldn’t bother to bury this person though, they only carried the remains someplace far enough from their camp, leaving them there for wild animals to consume. All that deep down haunted Sharky’s mind, his own imagination giving him thoughts how he himself dreamed of the most badass way of dying ― all around fire of course ― while these people just… _rotted,_ left and forgotten.

When Sharky went back to the camp, leaving Hurk behind because he had announced to his cousin that he wanted to take to piss after they’ve gotten rid of the corpse, he noticed that Ben was deep in searching through a backpack, finding there a couple food cans and jars, some bottles with fresh water, beer of course, and also clothes. All of them, of course, too small for the big man.

“Ya poor huge thing, ya would be lucky if some giants or, _I dunno,_ alien basketball players attacked us, not a damn cult,” Sharky giggled.

“Shut up, kid.” Fishing out some obscene thongs, Ben threw them right at the pyromaniac, _perfectly_ hitting his face.

“Oh fuck me,” Like struck by a lightning, Sharky jumped away from the surely used before underwear, trying hard to avoid its obnoxious touch. “What a nasty thing, _jesus fuck,_ smells like Hurk’s pits.”

Hurk, appearing out of sudden and yet struggling to tie his pants after he’d peed, looked at the scene unfolding before him, and both Sharky and Ben gave him a glance as Ben fished out a hoodie, throwing another cloth at the pyromaniac.

The smallest man from all three of them picked up the red thongs, taking a noticeable and quite loud sniff which made the Deputy leave the backpack in peace and go over to another one, cursing under his breath. “Honestly Sharky, _ya wound me,_ my pits smell worse.”

“Hurk, for fuckin’ sake,” The pyromaniac moaned, looking at the hoodie that Ben had shoved at him. He considered it for a second, smelling it and realizing it was fairly fragrant, then tied it around his waist, and once done, he went over to prepare the bonfire as Ben obviously left him the honors to do so. He still glanced over at the Deputy, trying to read anything from his face, though he only observed a smile, directed at him, of course. _Fuck, okay._ With this, he prepared the campfire properly first, gathering around the whole place several sticks, branches, a handful of grass, all of them dry, of course. He hoped this was enough, but with his talent to light up fires, he knew he would manage with ease.

He found his lighter, playing with it a little before he shook himself out of the trance, and a bit later indeed a fire was already burning, warming Sharky’s cheeks up as he kept staring into the flames. Putting his cap beside himself not to burn the beak again, he hadn't even noticed when Ben had approached him. That man with a smile on his face sat right beside, preparing several sausages on the grill sticks that had been abandoned, also carefully setting up a holder to put there a kettle with water.

“Found tea there, would you believe?” The Deputy cheered, showing the pyromaniac a couple of tea bags he’d found in one of the shelves in the house he pointed with his finger at.

This smile again, this goddamn smile that made Sharky break his stare with the gorgeous flames only to look at the freckled man.

“It’s a beverage I know we, Americans, don’t really cherish in this form... but my mom used to love to drink it, preparing always two mugs for the two of us to rest after a rough day.” That smile which enchanted the pyromaniac disappeared, being replaced by a sadder version of the same expression. Seemed that the Deputy was lost in memories, seemed also that he loved his mom, though Sharky couldn’t exactly tell from this simple sentence more than the fact that his mother enjoyed tea.

“Mind if ya prepare one more? Wanna try.” Unable to tell why exactly had he exclaimed those words, it felt like the right thing to do, something the pyromaniac didn’t do often but in this very moment sensed like it was the best he could do to make the cowboy man cheer up, a thing he _really_ wanted to do, though he didn’t know _why._

He guessed right because all smiling, the Deputy shoved the tea bags into Sharky’s hands, also settling the one mug he brought beside them, jogging towards the house. The redneck was fairly unsure of why he ran away from him, though sighed with relief when he saw Ben go back with another mug in his hand. They smiled at each other as Ben again sat with a huff, placing the new mug on the ground next to the first one, also taking the tea bags from Sharky’s hands, and that little touch sent shivers up the redneck’s spine.

During all that time Hurk sat across the fire, munching a cold hamburger none of the boys dared to ask about, though they were aware it was for sure a meal not even Sharky would bite into. He was also busy drinking his second bottle of beer, as Sharky already counted.

Everyone enjoyed the silence till the water started to boil, Sharky forced to hold now two sticks with sausages since Ben handed him over his own, mumbling a silent _‘thank you’_ as he carefully prepared their mugs, placing the tea bags inside. Then Ben focused on not burning himself as he picked up the kettle, pouring the steaming water into each cup.

Sharky curiously watched it all happen, observing Ben’s huge palms so gracefully work on the mugs, the tea, that _fucking_ kettle, and he stared into him as if Ben was those flames that always made him glance into like enchanted. There was something in this cowboy man that just made him want to keep looking, his moves so peculiar, so… _gentle,_ especially for such a huge man.

Ben stole his own barbecue stick from Sharky’s hand after he was done, moving one of the mugs closer to the pyromaniac, and only now Sharky noticed that he had chosen a mug for him with something poorly painted on it ― something orange-ish, against something blue, as if it was the sky, _burning._

“Careful, it’s hot,” Ben warned. “Also… wait a couple of minutes, it has to brew first, then you can take the tea bag out.” After those instructions the freckled man checked his sausages, examining them all around to see if they were ready to consume though he decided to wait a bit.

“Gonna go sleep, folks, see ya tomorrow,” Hurk yawned, scratching his butt as he headed towards one of the houses, leaving behind many emptied bottles of beer.

Sharky frowned at that, counting the bottles, then nodding to himself that Hurk _indeed_ just drank enough of beer to sleep like a bear during winter. It was still fairly odd how silent his cousin seemed during that evening, they did chit chat a little, though with all honesty not as much as usual. Hurk was probably tired, unused to their set pace because Ben was quite fast and insistent, pushing them forward and pausing only when it was truly needed. All of them deserved their rest now, and none truly minded that it was somewhat silent between them.

Ben moved, and this time prepared his sausages and his tea while Sharky finally opened himself a beer. He also, following the Deputy, took off the sausages from the stick to eat them, though he left his tea for a tad later, first filling his mouth with the taste of the alcohol.

“Yo, Ben, uhh, I was thinkin’...” Courage comes with beer (as people often were saying) making Sharky’s mind easier to talk about things he rather avoided. “Well, I wanted to uh, just make sure that… well, dude, you’re a cop, and… will ya lock me up once it’s all done? I mean, all the things I’ve done, that’s some serious shit.”

“Well, I already made my promise about this, didn’t I?” Ben answered, not even looking up from his mug of tea. “No way you’re going to end in jail of my hand, Sharky _B.”_

Ben muttered those words as if he was actually a policeman about to put the pyromaniac right into the jail, making him giggle and take another sip of beer, this exact topic for sure being closed now.

“So… what’re we gonna do tomorrow?” Sharky had asked when Ben took a bite, munching and making pleasant noises.

“Don’t know, I think that I want to find Eli and the whole Whitetail Militia. I’m done with the Bliss for now,” The cowboy confessed, looking over at the pyromaniac with a seriously tired expression. They weren’t sitting so far from each other, and Sharky shifted a little to adjust himself, nearly making his mug fall over. “Oh, careful.” Ben gently spoke, and their hands brushed. The touch lingered for a moment and Sharky could swear this made him forget how to breathe.

_Shit._

Ben did the honors of taking out from Sharky’s cup the tea bag as Sharky busied himself with the sausage. “Man, shit’s really tasty.” He dropped the previous topic though that little incident had knocked him out of the rhythm. “Better than all those fuckin’ beans.”

“Yes, can’t agree more.” Ben took a sip of his tea, swallowing the beverage so loudly that Sharky could hear it. He himself took another bite. “Also… I was inside that home there,” the Deputy pointed the house across the one Hurk chose to go sleep in, the same ― as Sharky noticed ― which he pointed before and from which he got the tea bags. “Inside is a huge bed, comfy… it’s yours.”

Sharky found himself staring at the cowboy with his mouth full. He swallowed it all nervously, regretting right away he'd done it because of how he yet didn’t completely chew the huge bit of sausage. He coughed.

“What… what do ya―”

“I’m true to my word, Sharky. I promised a couple of days ago that you’ll get the comfiest bed, right?” He winked at the pyromaniac, and Sharky licked his dry lips as he reached out to his beer.

“Ya can―where… where will ya sleep?” Sharky took a huge sip to ease his mind, and the Deputy again brushed his hand against the redneck’s rough one, the one which Sharky supported himself with on the ground. He looked down, glancing now at their hands that were on the ground and he felt something deep in his guts bother him so much he had no idea how to react, so he froze, completely forgetting how to breathe.

Ben didn’t take the hand away, the sides of their palms just pressed together. Both again started to consume their meals, and after several silent minutes, the cowboy asked. “This question was serious?”

Sharky gave him a confused expression, taking a tad too long to get what the Deputy actually meant. “Y-yeah, I mean… don’t wanna leave ya to sleep on the ground, Dep.” He took another, huge sip of his beer, breaking their touch.

“Don’t worry,” Ben put down all of his cutlery, emptying the mug in one big sip. “There’s plenty of houses and beds here.” He giggled, pointing at Sharky’s tea so that he doesn’t forget about his beverage. The pyromaniac took the mug, drinking only a bit to taste it. It did taste appealing, it wasn’t something he would passionately drink but it was fairly tasty nonetheless.

He drank it all, leaving the now empty mug beside their already forgotten cutlery, watching the other man stand up.

Doing so, Ben offered the other man the same hand with which they touched seconds ago. Sharky after a thought took the offer, swiftly getting up, though he _of course_ stumbled and ended up in Ben’s half embrace. The pyromaniac didn’t let go of him, feeling as if this was right, as if this was the place he should be in, feeling safety, warmth, as if this was _home,_ the man to whom he belongs _…_ he only now noticed that their hands were still twisted together, and he yet didn’t do anything to withdraw it. He just let it all be because it felt _natural._

They adjusted themselves a bit though, and the Deputy, as close and tall he was, now gently brushed with his beard against Sharky’s forehead. That made Sharky take a harsh breath, closing his eyes at the feeling of Ben’s palm around his forearm. He shivered, gulping loudly.

“You alright?” The hot whisper felt so intense and passionate against Sharky’s skin, so much that he had to choke in an unwanted moan. As if this wasn't enough, Ben’s hand started to wander up, brushing the warmth of the pyromaniac’s flesh, then the texture of the hoodie, putting pressure so that the redneck felt it move up and up, and _fuck,_ he wished to glance and to see what was painted on Ben’s face but that scared him dearly and made him so nervous he knew that by doing so he would end up being the biggest red mess there was.

He still nodded to answer the question, unable to form even the simplest word but he had to let Ben know that indeed, he was alright, or at least he _hoped_ so, though with all honesty he could say that he did feel excellent with their closeness. God, he actually _leaned_ against that pressure and that touch. The Deputy's hand finally ended on his shoulder that slowly moved towards Sharky's hot head and _fuck,_ the redneck’s heart was beating so fast he could swear that the other man for sure could hear it bump even on the skin of his neck that Ben now gently traced.

Ben cupped his face, and that touch felt like something he’d never felt before. He felt so lost, yet so _found_ , and he finally plucked up enough courage to glance up at the big man, seeing Ben stare into his flushed face. Ben smiled at that, this _goddamn_ smile that Sharky so well already recognized, those fucking _gorgeous_ freckles hiding under the wrinkles the expression caused. He whimpered, melting at that such _gentle_ touch on his face, those hands pressing against his skin with as much care as if he was porcelain, like those _mugs_ from before he had watched Ben so carefully and gracefully move around.

Sharky could swear that his dick was hard just by the way the Deputy’s thumbs brushed against his red face ― not the first time during this week. _Fuckin’ mother._

Their stare lingered for a long while, both staring into each other's eyes, trying to find there something, _anything,_ and Ben, without any warnings, closed the yet long distance between them, taking Sharky’s lips into his own. He kissed those already parted lips, bringing the other man closer as he deepened it with each movement. Suddenly, he also buried both of his hands in Sharky’s hair and that tender pull as he closed his palms made Sharky moan loudly, trying to find support by holding— _bruising_ for sure the Deputy's waist.

It lasted for a long time, and Ben's tongue gently pressed against the pyromaniac’s mouth, letting him know he wanted to get inside, taste more, to explore him, to have more…

As if someone slapped Sharky’s mind, it finally hit him _what the fuck_ the Deputy just performed, to them, to _him,_ and with force, anger, and furiously yelling, he violently pushed Ben away, swinging his arms around like crazy to get the Deputy as far from himself as possible.

“Shit, dude,” Sharky breathed loudly, trying to find balance. “Fuckin’ sake, what in―what the _fuck_ do ya think you’re doin’?!” The pyromaniac spit out the words at the Deputy, then actually _spit_ with disgust on the ground, quickly brushing with his forearm his wet lips to get the taste of the other man away. He also lost himself in thoughts about Hurk and his boobies to make his dick go limp, that hardness suddenly bothering him. “I’m… _fuck dude,_ I’m―I love pussy, boobies, _that_ kinda stuff, ya hear me clear? **_No homo._ ** Like, _serious,_ I don’t enjoy dicks, I don’t— _”_

Ben was standing not far from him, staring gaped at the other man, pure shock and fear in those teary gray eyes as his hand went up to his cheek where Sharky with his hand left a fairly massive red mark while trying to push him away. He looked like a little lost kid whose precious candy that he worked for was taken away, making Sharky immediately regret his exaggerated outburst.

“Listen, dude... don’t do it again, like, God _fuck_ , it was so sudden I don’t even―”

“I’m sorry.” Ben interrupted him. “I thought… I must’ve been wrong. Just… let’s forget this happened, okay? Let’s just… let’s... let it be...” His voice was different as the pyromaniac noticed, less cheerful, and it lacked its usual vividness as if Ben’s all life forces had drained just by the way how Sharky had reacted to the kiss. That made Sharky feel even worse with the whole situation, yet his word stood, he didn’t like men. He didn’t like dicks. He didn’t _enjoy_ neither men nor dicks.

_But ya fuckin’ did enjoy Ben._

That wasn’t new to the pyromaniac, the fact that he liked the Deputy and that he craved his attention but… he wouldn’t assume he would go this far with what he truly desired. He had thought it was just his need to have a friend, to have someone around that liked him not because he had a cool cousin or because he was making the best barbecues in the County, if not whole America. Ben was such a kind person to him, and he was around because the Deputy _enjoyed_ the pyromaniac’s presence. Nobody held him and forced him to stay around, at least Sharky seriously hoped so, and that was honestly enough for him to be sure of Ben’s feelings towards his peculiar individual.

The problem was that he didn’t imagine and would never say that Ben would ever fall in _love_ with him. _Fuck._ That thought was simply crazy and unbelievable to him. Such a handsome, fucking _godlike_ person, huge and freckled, with gorgeous, beautiful, gray eyes, tall, with muscles carved so well on each part of his body, and _this man_ was having feelings to the pyromaniac? _No way._ Not in the goddamn world was that possible to imagine by Sharky’s yet fairly excellently functioning brain.

“Yeah, it’s…” Sharky cleared his throat as he tried to speak up. “It’s fine, like… let’s sleep and pretend none of that fuckery happened, yeah, good uh… good idea.” Sharky tried to form a proper sentence, yet it was pretty much difficult to come up with anything as he realized and kept now thinking about how he truly had given the Deputy signs that he _indeed_ enjoyed dicks and that he wanted Ben’s attention. They had been close before, _for fucking sake,_ they had touched, they had hugged, Sharky had been fucking _dying_ out of worry when Ben had been away, savoring the closeness between them whenever the Deputy had stepped closer or brushed against him, and he as well had done these things, he had touched Ben’s chest, not once, not twice… _God,_ he’d already lost count a couple of weeks ago… or was it just days? He couldn’t, _fucking,_ tell.

Clear was that he too had developed something towards this cowboy, yet it was scaring him enough he couldn’t even think of that at the moment. It was new, way too new for him to come to any decisions yet, and his desire to burn something drastically grew.

“I’ll head to bed, Sharky, I… I’m sorry, _again,_ and please don’t… please don’t tell anyone this happened, just… _please.”_ Ben after those words took care of the bonfire, just busying himself with something, as Sharky assumed, not to just stand there and do nothing, a thing he knew that the Deputy hated. These words though, they made the pyromaniac break the stare and watch their fire get extinguished, just like whatever had occurred between them. It felt as if Ben was _begging_ him not to spread any steam about what had happened, and he didn’t quite understand why it was so important for Sharky not to talk about what just happened but he nodded. He wouldn’t talk about that, not even with Hurk, he honestly didn’t want to, not just because of Ben but because of _himself._ The last thing he wanted was to share the fact that Ben had passionately brought their lips together, with his hand buried in his hair, gently pulling, and Sharky with all honesty had _enjoyed_ that. He enjoyed _Ben._

_Fuck me._

The Deputy left him, nearly right away turning to head towards the farthest house in the camp area, leaving the pyromaniac alone.

 

Ben crashed the door behind himself, tears spilling down once he was sure that nobody, especially not Sharky, would register his loud cries. He felt so stupid, so amazingly sick with how that kiss had turned out that he wanted to throw up and he couldn’t tell if this was because he felt so disgusted with himself or because that rejection hurt him so terribly his heart was about to explode.

 _God,_ he wanted to die, he wished to just close himself in the toilet and never go out.

Feeling his legs all wobbly, he supported himself with his back against the door and he slid down, bringing his knees closer as he hid his flushed face in them. Ben sobbed, the ache getting too much for his sanity. He had to let it all go but he felt as if something was about to tear him apart. It maybe wouldn’t be that bad if Sharky had gently said _‘no’_ or if he had stopped him before they had cuddled and _before_ all those touches had started. He seriously, _seriously_ felt as if he was sure of Sharky’s sexuality once their hands had brushed and the pyromaniac had only leaned closer and this was _why_ the rejection hurt Ben so horribly.

Minutes passed and he kept weeping, thinking about his life and how it all just continued to fall apart. He’d lost enough, and he believed God would show him at least bits of mercy by giving him a man he could love and a man that would love him back… yet he didn’t even get his chance to start anything with Sharky, their relationship falling apart before it came into existence.

He got up, wiping the tears away as he stumbled across the room towards the toilet. He found there a mirror which was hanging a little too low for his annoying height so he had to lean down a little to see himself. He supported his hands on the sink, the whole device cracking a little under his weight, yet he didn’t give a damn. Ben glanced at his tired, broken reflection, seeing the tears yet forming in his eyes, his whole face gifted with a red color which enhanced the dark freckles all around his cheeks and nose.

He imagined himself in a different way, with his hair cut and less messy as it appeared right now, brought together in a neat way, looking simply classy and handsome. His freckles were less visible, gently decorating his cheeks and nose, and they were _only_ there, not all over his face, making him seem as if someone had thrown a paintbrush that had plastered all those dots all over his damn body. His new, not so tired eyes, lacked those huge bags, he was just… less tired, more happy, standing by the side of his proud father whom he just announced he had a wife, children, a fantastic house, money… _God,_ he truly wanted all this. He wanted this stability in life, to have a wife or a husband, to have children he could raise and teach, he wished to just not be who he was right now ― a broken man with nothing left but his demons haunting him every single night.

His father. He was still on his mind even though he tried hard not to busy himself with yet trying to make him proud. Ben knew there was no way to make his father be satisfied with him again, not after what the Deputy had done so many years ago. Yet some feelings remained and he felt as if he still should try to make him see his son _was_ worth something. _Anything._

Sobbing loudly again, he could sense that was close to breaking that mirror, so he decided to undress and go inside the shower, finding out that water was gladly still there, though cold. He stayed under the shower for hours, as it felt, and he went to bed either really late at night or seriously early in the morning. Ben didn’t sleep that much anyway, cuddling to the pillow and blanket and trying his best to ease his mind not to appear depressed in the morning. He had to focus on their mission, not lose himself in his stupid emotions.

Once awake, he got up pretty quickly, dressing himself up and making sure he didn’t look like death, though those huge bags under his eyes couldn’t be covered, at least not without makeup which Ben didn’t use and didn't _want_ to use. He took all of his belongings and left the building behind, settling himself by the extinguished fire. Waiting for the boys to wake up, not bothering to break their peaceful sleep, the Deputy started to prepare breakfast for all of them, choosing a boring can with a boring meal.

An hour later, as he had already eaten his part ― though it hadn't been much ― Sharky left his own hut with a loud grunt, doing a little workout to straighten his bones as he slowly made his way towards some bushes.

Ben, upon noticing him, quickly looked down, not daring to look into those eyes he knew would make him go completely emotional again. Not a thing he wanted now, and especially not a thing he wanted for Sharky to notice.

It didn’t take long and the pyromaniac was back, walking towards the Deputy with a fairly slow pace. Ben kept staring at his empty can of food, clutching to his bottle of water and it was silent, _completely_ silent between them. That bothered Ben so much he wanted to throw the bottle that he held at him to make him finally speak. _Fucking say something, tell me how you hate me._

“Hi there, dude,” at last, the redneck spoke and sat beside Ben, just like they did the previous evening. The pyromaniac took the prepared can of food into his hand, busying himself with it. The Deputy let him read the envelope and later also eat in peace, though he felt his own body refuse to stay close to him, yet he didn’t move an inch, feeling that this action would end up poorly.

“Listen…” Sharky carefully started as he swallowed the last bits of his meal, “since Hurk yet be sleepin’, I wanted to tell ya… we’re cool, okay?” His voice was silent as if he tried his best to truly not wake his cousin up. “Ya said it a couple of days ago, that we’re goin’ to be fine… so we’re fine, dude.”

Simple words, just several letters plastered together into a sentence — enough to make Ben smile up a bit. He wanted to again just embrace his friend, to take his hand into his just to show Sharky that indeed, they were fine, but he knew he shouldn’t. Especially not after what had happened the previous evening and not after whatever he had gone through during the night.

Sharky fished out his cigarettes out of his hoodie’s pocket, gifting one to Ben, the other he put in his mouth. He lit the fire, playing a bit with the lighter before he handed it over to the Deputy too.

“Thanks,” Ben mumbled, though his voice was so sore that he had to clear his throat afterward. Still, he put the cigarette into his mouth, accepting the lighter. “And… and I’m glad. I’m glad that you’re fine with that.”

Ben coughed, his lungs protesting at the sudden appearance of smoke. He glanced — finally — at the other man, giving him the lighter back. He tried hard to avoid touch, for his own good, yet their hands brushed, making Ben feel nauseous. He noticed though that Sharky now focused on his cig, completely losing himself in that activity.

“I was worried… I was worried you would just…” Ben again started, this time even more silent. “I don’t want for our friendship to just…” Unable to find the right words and feeling that his voice was breaking just at how hard he tried to sound reliable, he let go of it, taking another puff of smoke.

 _“Nah,_ dude, we’re fine. Said it already.” Sharky didn’t even look at him when he talked, focused now on some landscapes and whatever else he glanced into, though Ben was sure it wasn't the cigarette anymore. His expression was empty though, it was all Ben was able to read from his face, also all he managed to see before Hurk announced he was awake.

“Whassup, my dudes. Were ya sittin’ here the whole night? Jeez, ya guys got the guts.” Hurk sat down, taking another beer from his collection he had left on his spot yesterday. “Man, ya two look as if ya fought in the biggest battle the county ever saw, did I miss somethin’ durin’ the night? Like, an alien invasion maybe? _Fuck,_ honestly? Don’t even tell me, sometimes it's best not to know and I wouldn’t forgive myself if I slept through something so badass.”

Giggling at that, the Deputy got up, slowly preparing himself to leave the camp. The two cousins stayed in place, for sure already knowing that Ben would yet busy himself for several minutes to ready them for the day and gather up the rest of supplies, packing it all into their car. Ben also didn’t ask them for help, he rather did these things by himself. He was aware by now that these two boys were fairly clumsy, busying their mind about such things like supplies only when they were getting hungry or thirsty.

Only now, when Ben moved back to the camp to take another backpack with himself, this one filled with bottles for them all, he had noticed that Sharky wore the hoodie that he’d handed him yesterday. It wasn’t Ben’s, yet it made him feel sort of content that he had accepted that offer. Both the pyromaniac and his cousin were deep in a conversation, and Ben also heard by this that Sharky completely dropped the topic about their kiss that had happened barely yesterday. That thought, that _assurance_ made him feel much better about the whole situation that had occurred the day before.

At some point, as Ben was ready gathering their stuff to Nancy, the car he’d gotten from Hurk Sr. for helping him get back _exactly_ this car, he called the cousins to finally move their asses because it was time.

“Ben, dude, gimme a second,” Sharky called as Hurk already settled himself on the mounted gun, and Ben didn’t answer to that, just waited while sitting on the driver's seat and warming up the engine though it didn’t last long when Sharky seconds later already jogged towards the car. Ben saw him in the rear mirror carrying something, a package, as it seemed, which made the Deputy frown.

Sharky quickly got inside, shoving into Ben’s hands a huge cardboard filled with tea bags the Deputy had completely forgotten about, and which he had left, as he remembered now, in the house in which the pyromaniac had slept.

“Thought ya might wanna drink these again.”

Staring down at the box filled to the hilt that the pyromaniac for sure must have prepared because Ben, while there, hadn't observed such a huge box, and the fact that Sharky had thought of that simply ended up with Ben again getting overflowed with many, this time positive, emotions.

“Sharky, I―”

“We’re fine.” The pyromaniac interrupted the Deputy before he even managed to form a proper sentence in his mind, and with this Sharky―as usual―made himself comfortable on his seat, and Ben, after putting the tea bags on the backseat and blushing like a teenager, put in the gear to drive forward.

He was smiling though, and he was happy because, despite everything, they indeed were fine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh WELL HERE WE ARE~ hope you enjoyed this lil chapter folks... let the actual THING begin!


	9. Blood in the Water

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Their journey continues deeper into the Whitetail Mountains area!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DISCLAIMER - my beta reader is currently "out of order" so forgive all the mistakes or issues in this chapter, and if you find anything that looks so awful you need to let me know - do it! I will greatly appreciate any feedback! <3

They were driving north-west for a couple of long minutes now while the radio played songs both Ben and Hurk clearly enjoyed, Sharky not so much. The roads have gotten fairly busy which forced them all to make several pauses only to take care of enemies that, surprisingly or not, have become annoyingly hard to deal with, which caused for them to feel the tiredness much earlier than usual.

Not so long later they all had found out that those selected Peggies were the so-called Chosen. They were trained only for that, to perfectly shoot whoever would stand in their way, to execute without mercy, to be _strong,_ to perform cruel, ruthless murders with the use of Judges — animals, or better to say wolves, that were drugged, abused, _hell knows_ what else only to be stronger and more reliable in fights.

The mood that set in the car after they'd meet such a Chosen got horribly low, and the silence was currently piercing them in a worse way than the arrows flying all around when they tried to fight off only _one_ enemy, with a huge emphasis on the word 'try'.

Sharky had right away noticed that Ben didn't go easy on himself even because of the poor wolves that were trained, in the easiest way to call it, to be genetically _better_ than typical animals of the same family. Weak ones were deceased, they meant shit to those Peggies because they were believing that weakness ought to be fought against, a philosophy Jacob, Joseph Seed’s older brother, taught them.

And not just the poor animals were treated like that. It also was reserved for humans.

Whoever wasn't showing any signs of inner force and endurance, was dead by now, though death with all honesty seemed like the simplest and best way to get rid of humans, especially here, to everyone's, even to those who were held captive, honest delight. The cultists could perform the worst kinds of torture before the end finally came, starting with the easiest yet awful way to starve humans to break them.

It scared Sharky, the whole area of the Whitetails was simply scaring him. He didn't show that though, he wanted neither for his cousin nor for Ben to be aware that he was nearly shitting his pants at the thought of these damn Peggie-killing-machines on two or four legs. He kept his cool, the best he could, though it was clear by how tightly he held his shotgun close and ready to shoot it that he was nervous and cautious all the time.

Besides all the ongoing cult bullshit, currently worse than ever, Sharky found himself thinking about Ben nearly without any pause. It wasn't long since the incident happened — when he unreasonably snapped at Ben for kissing him — and he didn't find time to properly analyze the whole situation, yet he knew that whatever happened wouldn't be forgotten by either of them as easily as he wished.

They agreed to just simply forget it but Sharky with all honestly couldn't.

Sharky was from time to time giving Ben a short glance, just to see how the man was acting when they had a moment of peace, no enemies in sight and no people around in need to be saved. He was carefully, slowly shifting towards the car's door, turning a little to press his back against it not to move his head too much, all only to be able to clearly see the cowboy. With this method he only needed to move his eyeballs to see Ben's whole tensed frame, his lips firmly pressed together, and with both of his hands, he nervously clutched to the wheel. He wore a neatly looking shirt - a dark blue one with some black details all over it, no hat on his head, though he couldn’t himself already remember when and how Ben lost his hat, the thing that Sharky both liked and hated in the Deputy.

What he noticed though is that he couldn't really tell if Ben's state was because of how different, more ruthless and bloody this territory seemed or because of what happened the previous day. He wished, with all fucking honesty, that it was because of the first reason, even though it was horrific to think of that.

Trying to speak up a million times, Sharky every single time bit his lips before he even properly managed to open his mouth to take a breath to mutter a word or two. He didn't know what to say, how to start a conversation, suddenly he just had no idea how to talk with the Deputy without ruining anything else. He was _scared_ that Ben would judge him, that he would be triggered or sad, or _all of the above_ at once _,_ if he only decided to say something.

_Goddamnit._

If there was a way to stop the time and make it all go back to the moment when Ben was only gently brushing his beard against Sharky's forehead, back to when there was still a long while before Ben looked into his eyes and Sharky happened to be _lost._ Then, he would go through that again, let the Deputy take his mouth into his and kiss him as if there was no today and tomorrow, and afterward, he wouldn't react in the same way as he originally did. He would be shocked, he would be flustered as balls, but he wouldn't yell at Ben.

By now Sharky was more than sure that if all that happened again, like, _right now,_ he would melt into that touch and feeling and be lost, letting Ben do—

"Sharky, you okay?" He nearly jumped when Ben suddenly touched his thigh to wake him up from a trance he didn't know he was in. _Fuck_. That had startled him so much he literally forgot where he was and how the fuck he got there but the realization and obvious fact that _all_ the time he was _staring_ at Ben made him flushed so much he wanted to jump out of the car even though they were going pretty fast.

"Y-yeah," he stuttered and loudly cleared his throat, "I… I guess so."

"You, Hurk?" Ben asked the other man who settled himself on the backseat, taking the whole space to make himself seem comfortable and relaxed, though he too held his gun in his hands, loaded and ready, just in case.

"Miss me my TV and beer but well, can't have everythin'," he stated and yawned loudly, making Ben giggle.

"Hopefully wherever the Militia is currently settled we can get at least the beer." Sharky snickered at the Deputy’s reply, relaxing a bit in his seat but on spur of a moment and without any warning he yelled when out of nothing a Judge appeared on the road at which Ben wasn't attention to during this brief moment.

The Deputy immediately hit the brakes and turned, avoiding the wolf, but midst those incredibly fast seconds before Ben properly did anything not to crash into the animal, a Chosen appeared on the road which Ben bypass couldn't.

It all went horrendously quick from now.

The crash happened to be so rough and loud that the pyromaniac felt as if time stopped when it got quiet again, and the first thing that he registered after that hell of a mess, was Ben who basically didn't stop to glare at the now partly crushed and _bloodied_ windscreen of their car.

He quickly, even though he was fairly dizzy, shifted closer, cupping Ben’s face to analyze him all over, searching for any damages that the crash could cause since the airbags didn't go off, but gladly he found nothing serious besides the broken expression staring now back at him.

Ben’s eyes seemed empty, his lips parted and dry, but the fact that physically no damage was done–as Sharky truly hoped–the pyromaniac sighed from relief. Then, he grabbed his shotgun that was now idly lying between his legs, and even more prepared than before with rage boiling within him, left the vehicle.

Jogging over to the front of their car which nearly parked on a tree, ruining only a few small bushes on its way, he found the dead body of the Peggie lying not that far from him. The crash caused for the damage to be so horrible that there was no possible way that this man by anything would still be alive.

_Thankfully._

Yet the Judge, that horrific animal, remained, growling and throwing itself at the pyromaniac in an instant who cursed loudly, putting it on fire with an incendiary bullet before it got him.

 _"Shit,_ man." Sharky spit and goosebumps were on his whole skin as he watched the wolf quickly burn to death, wailing and trying to put it off.

Beside him was already Hurk, commenting the whole situation in the same way as Sharky, though cursing and whining even worse about the car they so hardly got back for his daddy. Now it looked pretty much unable to drive, though the pyromaniac promised himself to give it a proper look after they take a couple of breaths and...

Sharky suddenly felt something deep within him boiling from worry when Ben exited the car, sitting beside it and not even daring to give the deceased person a look. He hid his face in his hands, shivers violently shaking with his body which made Sharky imagine that Ben echoed a little child, broken and lost.

The pyromaniac was kind of unsure why Ben was so worried about the life of a Peggie—or at least it seemed as if he was—mostly because they were their goddamn enemies and, in Sharky’s honest opinion, all of them deserved to die in any possible damn way there was.

Sharky ordered his cousin to hide the body of the Peggie while he took care of the wolf, hiding them in the bushes nearby. though far from the road. They hoped for no more Chosen to come by, especially since they still were fairly visible from distance. When they were done with that, they went over to where the car was located, wondering about how to release the vehicle from the bushes’ hold.

The Deputy stared into nothing, but when the boys approached him, he looked up at Sharky to show him the unease on his face. Deep inside Sharky knew that Ben _wanted_ him to see it, to know that Ben currently wasn't at his best state and that he needed an obvious pause even though it wasn't noon yet.

"Ben, are ya—"

"I'm okay." the Deputy interrupted before Sharky even managed to ask anything, and he truly did intend to throw a question at Ben that would require for the cowboy to speak about his well being which clearly wasn't that positive right now. _Not a wise thing,_ Sharky thought and bit his tongue. "I just… I need a minute… okay?"

"Sure man, Imma go take a shit," Hurk mumbled, already walking away towards the tree close to the one on which the car stopped. "And don't leave without me, don'tcha damn dare."

"’ Course, cous, didn't make all the way to ya only to fuckin' leave ya now," Sharky chided with exhaustion in his voice, and he put his shotgun on the ground, sitting right next to Ben in some sort of support he hoped Ben would appreciate.

"'T'was just a damn Peggie, don'tcha worry for killin' him dude, I'm fuckin' impressed by your skills man," Sharky spoke, trying to ease the mood that settled in their vehicle way before the animal and the Chosen appeared on the street. "Ya damn learned that in school or uh, or what? The uhhh, police school or, whatever ya go to, popos."

He noticed that Ben smiled, yelling a silent _'hell yeah'_ in his head to congratulate himself that he managed to cheer Ben up, even though only a little. The last thing Sharky wanted was for the Deputy to feel awful, even to blame himself for killing someone they were about to kill _anyway_ because all Peggies' desire was to kill them—freedom fighters—for fucking sake, too.

"Thanks." A soft, silent mumble left Ben’s mouth when he turned his head to face Sharky, who glared back at him, and that made the pyromaniac bite his lip because he could swear he felt that warm breath of his on his skin.

"I would do this anyway, _you know_ I would, but… I didn't intend to… to…” Ben clearly hesitated, and Sharky heard him swallow his saliva as the Deputy’s head swayed away from him. Sharky kept watching him, though didn’t mutter a word, waiting for Ben to continue on his own. “I didn’t intend to murder him that way, but… but we live in a weird world where even cops have to do things they wouldn't do before."

"So, ya… ya never killed a man before?" Sharky carefully asked, curiosity growing bigger than his fairly low sanity, but Hurk came back just in time to hear him say it, and _of course,_ he added his few coins.

"Ben the Dep? Never killed a man? Come on Sharky, he for fuckin’ sure did it, he's a cop, right?" Hurk visibly had stained his pants with piss a bit and Ben grimaced, standing up and patting his pants to get rid of the dirt. He leaned against the car though, crossing his arms.

"Not all cops fuckin’ kill people from day one, dude."

Sharky followed, standing up and tripping on his own shotgun which made him curse horrendously. He immediately made a mental note not to leave his fucking weapon neither on the ground nor on his way anymore.

"And how do ya know it? Sharky, ya _hate_ the police and dude, they always aim guns at ya." Hurk whined back, pointing with his finger at his younger cousin.

The pyromaniac quickly glanced over at Ben, hating oh so dearly the fact that his friend, the man that _kissed_ him barely the day before, the man that he considered the only person he could trust with his life, was a fucking cop that any given minute _could_ turn against him and lock him up.

If not the promise he had given.

But was the promise even still actual? Sharky wondered, unsure about that after the drama that had happened, feeling sudden unease that maybe even their friendship should be questioned because even though they looked as if in good terms, he couldn't be sure of that. Maybe all of that was a lie, maybe Ben would decide he would want revenge and simply take the arsonist against his will when he wouldn't be paying any attention, too busy swooning over Ben’s greatness and handsomeness.

_Fuck._

"No." Ben's voice was cold, so cold that Sharky could swear that the whole area all from nothing lowered its temperature just from the way how Ben spoke. "I did kill someone before the whole Joseph bullshit happened."

The two boys stared at the Deputy, the man that never seemed more deadly and dangerous than now, and the cowboy wasn’t even paying attention to them. The pyromaniac gulped, clutching to his weapon with an unspoken question on his lips.

"I didn't use a weapon, neither a gun nor a knife. Bare hands." Ben finally looked at them, brushing a couple of locks away from his forehead that showed the tired face of his and Sharky realized that Ben's beard grew bigger than what it was before. He didn't trim it, and the pyromaniac knew that because that simple activity became a habit they all used to do together, till the day all of them had enough place to sleep separately.

The day they’d kissed.

"It was long ago, but I was already a cop, though it was… it was off duty." Ben nervously kept brushing his hair away, trying to also hide his whole frame from his comrades, and Sharky stared at him, feeling as if this was the moment that Ben finally gave up to speak up about himself and his life more than ever, sharing details nobody, for sure, knew before. Sharky, by all means, wanted to know more about Ben, like the friend of his he honestly considered himself. "I'm not proud of that, and the... _God,_ the blood on my hands will never wash off..."

The arsonist wanted to say something, to assure Ben that it was okay, that he doesn't need to continue if he doesn't want to, that all was fine and that he was there for him, anytime. But the fact that Hurk was close, certainly ready to make his weird and funny remarks, made him bite his tongue before he himself spit any unnecessary bullshit he would later regret.

"That was murder. I murdered her, but… but I—" Ben's voice broke, and the way how his curls kept bothering him became annoying even to the pyromaniac. "I had to, I just, I…"

Sharky was moved forward by a force he couldn't understand and didn't even try to understand. He ignored Hurk's presence there, he ignored Hurk's comment that didn't say much anyway, he only pushed his weapon into his cousin's arms who loudly objected which he didn’t give a fuck about, and eventually, he ignored his own mind yelling at him to just let it be and _not do_ whatever his instincts told him to do.

Their bodies pressed together, Sharky putting the side on his face against Ben's chest not to impale the other man with the beak of his cap. His hands went all around the huge man, grabbing the back of Ben's shirt to bring them even closer, embracing him. He heard a muffled and surprised sound that escaped those lips he really _wished_ to feel against his own again and at last, he exhaled, at the same time formulating a short sentence that he hoped Ben honestly didn't get to hear.

Not long later, the pyromaniac felt the cowboy move a bit, placing Sharky between his legs to help him bring them closer, mostly to accommodate their both huge bodies, and he felt how the Deputy literally _melted_ at the touch. On top of his head, through the fabric of the cap, he sensed Ben's chin or side of his face, he couldn't tell, and he shivered when the muscular arms cuddled him back, making Sharky quickly inhale not to lose his breath. He felt pleasant warmth spread through the whole body of his, and suddenly nothing mattered to him, there was no war, no Seeds, and no annoying cousin of his, there was only him and Ben.

As if time stopped, he again lost himself in thoughts. He remembered yet so vividly the kiss, and he cursed himself mentally how often his brain kept reminding him about that horrendous situation that he so stupidly ruined, yet deep down he wasn't mad at all that most of his memories were about the moment when Ben's lips were pressed so softly against his dry ones, so _experienced,_ knowing what they were doing. It wasn't a hungry, needy act, it seemed as if Ben tried to pour all the feelings he kept holding back into the other man. He was delicate but demanding, and with all honesty now he could tell that it bought Sharky because he enjoyed every second of that.

Closing his eyes and grabbing Ben even tighter, he tried his best to finally show even himself that whatever he started to develop towards this Deputy wasn't wrong. He wanted to laugh at how easily he was seduced by another man, _by Ben,_ he corrected himself, and mentally he laughed at that. It wasn't that his sexuality day after day just like that changed, it took days, _weeks_ for him to build up those feeling, but now finally he could name it. It was _Ben_ who changed him, he simply found out that as much as he still loved pussy, he also loved Ben.

"Sharky, ya gettin' visibly weaker each minute around a lawman beside ya, I think I gotta throw up," Hurk suddenly chided, breaking their wonderful moment, and that sudden remark made Sharky jump lightly. He also felt a soft giggle that shook the other man’s body a bit and the sweet sound that left his mouth made the pyromaniac shiver again. He himself then released a long and fairly loud whine, enough for his cousin to hear how unhappy he was that this excuse of a cousin was around, watching them. His face though got annoyingly warm and red, yet he didn't let go of Ben because Ben didn't let go of him either.

It lasted, and Ben's hand moved up to rest on Sharky's shoulder and the arsonist shivered, even more, when the fingers gently touched his hair, touch into which he immediately unconsciously leaned. He heard a short sentence, enough to make his blush get worse than what it already was. _Thank you_. Simple, yet he knew that whatever he just performed was _good_ and that the other man appreciated that touch more than any words that could be spoken out loud.

He wouldn't ask. Whatever Ben was hiding behind his words and whoever the Deputy murdered… Sharky didn't give a fuck, he was curious, _obviously,_ and he wished to find out what was the case about only to understand the situation better but he knew this wouldn't change a thing. Whatever Ben would say, he would choose to throw himself into a hug rather than say some meaningless words he could and _would_ regret later.

The gratitude shown and spoken was enough for Sharky to let go of the embrace, and so he did. He quickly glanced up though, seeing a flushed, freckled face smiling down at him, and this made him look away in an instant. _Fuck._ He forever would get flustered by how amazingly handsome this man was, by how beautifully he smiled and by how cute his countless freckles were.

_There ya go, Boshaw. Like a fuckin' teenager in love._

"He's my friend now, and I don't give a flyin' fuck that he's a cop." Sharky cleared his throat, and with his legs all wobbly he stepped towards Hurk to retrieve his weapon back. "Ya don't like him? Well, that’s your loss, dude."

Proudly, Sharky wanted to go forward and continue with their crazy mission and he did a couple of steps towards _nowhere_ but quickly realized they still didn't make up any further plans on what to do next, so confused and all awkward he turned around, waiting for any orders. He nervously cleared his throat, again.

"So what, uhh, what are we gonna do now?" Carefully, he asked, watching Ben still all flushed get back into the car to try and get it running.

"Back on road, though I’ll see first if the car’s still working...” Gladly, the engine roared without any problems, and Ben cheered. He also tried to get the car moving, but it didn’t move an inch. “You two will need to give me a push though."

In no time Sharky found himself in front of Nancy, helping the Deputy get it back on track. It went with ease though, and Hurk didn't need to do much besides watching them do all the hard work, and once the vehicle was on harder and more stable ground, the pyromaniac checked the convertible all over to make sure that there weren't any leaks, and once he was sure that all was fine, the cousins settled themselves inside, with Sharky starting to argue with Hurk that most of all, he wasn't damn weak.

Again, Sharky was glancing from time to time at the Deputy, trying to read from his face all the new emotions that could appear there, though he found nothing new besides the flushed and freckled cheeks.

He'd lost himself in thoughts though. Again. This time about something he didn't think he would ever start to consider, yet here he was, wondering about how the fuck he will undo all the shit he had done with believing so badly he can only accept a pussy in life. He wasn't yet _exactly_ sure if whatever he felt was true, if this wasn't just momentarily that he found the Deputy so annoyingly handsome and tempting, he wanted to be sure but he had no idea what would be the best thing to perform not to again ruin everything _Boshaw style,_ as he often, if not always, did.

"I just remembered that Dutch, he…" Ben's forehead wrinkled in thoughts. "He told me about his niece, what was her… Jess? I think? She should be somewhere close in the area, we maybe even passed it."

Hurk suddenly made an understanding sound, making Sharky jump in his seat because it was pretty much loud and he forgot that his cousin was still there, scolding himself that he was scared like a baby with no reason.

"Ohhhhhh! We know her, right Sharky?" Sharky nodded. "From what I know she shoulda be in the Baron Lumber Mill, held there against her will, as many people are, fuckin’ Peggies."

"That's a start." Ben noticed that the pyromaniac got startled, glanced over at him and snickered which made Sharky’s cheek get warm from redness for the millionth time today.

"Where exactly is it?"

 

* * *

 

Ben was guided with the help of Hurk to the outpost where Jess was possibly held captive, and when they arrived close to the area, he parked the car, as always hidden from the main road in a forest. It was already afternoon as they left their vehicle, the sunbeams gently lightning up the area that made Ben remember how much he’d always enjoyed spring.

Preparing some food, the Deputy chose something simple that wouldn’t require the use of fire and or a kitchen, though the boys whined and demanded something better. He didn’t listen to, even snapped they can prepare something themselves. Eventually, they all focused on their meals, all of them sitting in different spots.

Hurk chose the car’s seat, sitting there by an open door to keep an eye on the environment and his companions while his younger cousin decided to go for the yet cold ground, using the wheel as his back support. Ben sat across, using a fallen tree as his seat.

Once they finished eating the Deputy asked for more details about the Baron Lumber Mill, and the older cousin more or less explained to the Deputy about its structures, revealing a couple of details that Ben found useful enough to memorize.

As they talked they were slowly preparing for the possible fight that could unfold if things didn’t go as Ben would want them to go. The pyromaniac was busy cleaning his shotgun, hiding bullets in all of his pockets, also managing to sneak in a molotov which Ben had no idea where he got from. Hurk loaded his rocket launcher, much to the Deputy’s dislike, but in the end, this could be nice help as long as he didn’t decide to shoot the whole area around, by accident hurting or killing people they were about to save.

Ben carefully wiped his sniper rifle from dust when Sharky approached him, looking fatter than ever with all the bullets and bottles packed in his hoodie and pants. He giggled when the pyromaniac tried to hide his hands in the fairly busy pocket, as he often did out of boredom or when he was nervous, but this time clearly couldn’t, much to his dislike that showed up on his face.

“You need to think of better ways to carry bullets,” the cowboy commented, earning a pout from the arsonist that only made him laugh louder.

“It does the job, dude. Got ‘em close and ready, no need to think twice and shit ya pants.” He crossed his arms, tried to, at least, and Ben continued to gently wipe his rifle clean.

Sharky kept standing close to him, making the Deputy glance up at him again with confusion written on his face.

“Ya know, wanted to ask—no, don’tcha put it down.” He cleared his throat as Ben was about to move his weapon away, though hesitated mid-air and eventually put it back on his knees. Ben waited patiently when Sharky while making many quite audible sounds of displeasure, tried to sit beside. The pyromaniac gently touched the sniper rifle, tracing the wooden shapes.

“Your weapon is fuckin’ gorgeous man,” he spoke softly, “where… where did ya get it from?”

Ben smiled, feeling excitement grow within him when the other man showed obvious interest in what not many people asked him about, but speaking about this exact weapon was something he loved but at the same time despised. They had a mission ahead which should currently be their main priority — to get Jess out of this mess.

“It’s… it’s a long story, and, well… I hope you don’t mind, but… it, it would be better if we spoke about it _after_ we get Jess safely to freedom.” Ben handed Sharky over his weapon, letting the boy appreciate it whole.

“Yeah, _yeah_ of course dude. Maaan...” Sharky was clearly in awe staring at the pretty old SVD of his. It never disappointed the cop, never once got stuck nor anything, and if anything, t was him who failed, not the weapon. “Fuck man, it's like, fuckin’ poetic.”

Ben giggled and got up, taking his not so little treasure from the other man. He winked and nodded, an unspoken order for Sharky to follow him.

The boys readied themselves for the last time before finally heading towards the cult outpost. Ben imagined it differently from Hurk's stories but some figurative places were standing out enough for Ben to recognize them as some from the babble he was forced to listen to, yet they didn't help the plan he already made up in his mind.

“Hurk, you go right towards that tower… _thing,_ I have no idea, but just go there and watch the situation, do not shoot unless necessary,” he ordered, “you Sharky, uh… see that point there?”

He pointed his finger and with his other hand brought Sharky closer to himself to make him see and with that their cheeks touched. Feeling the other man's warmth spread to his own freckled skin, he stuttered and retreated from him right away. “You… you go there, and… you will be settled across Hurk, so you too have an eye on the situation too, just from another side.”

The pyromaniac took a few steps back with a huge blush painted on his face that made Ben bite his lips before he let out a giggle by accident. He then watched Sharky nod at him and slowly make his way towards his established spot.

“Wait, what... what about ya?” Suddenly, Sharky turned back to face him as Ben knelt down to pick up his weapon and aim, watching and scanning the area of the outpost.

The Deputy didn't even give the outlaw a look as he silently announced. “Trust me.”

Ben only heard a couple of steps as the pyromaniac abandoned him, trotting to his spot, though half crouching when Ben shot the first enemy on sight, the one he was by now sure that wouldn't be found by any of his Peggie friends. He hoped so, at least, he really wanted to be as stealthy as it was possible, trying to kill a whole lot of enemies before shit would go wrong.

Another shot, a quite risky one because Ben wasn't so sure about the situation from another side, yet the decision was made so he quickly considered his options and eventually decided to move to another spot before he would shoot again, also hoping the cousins would stay patient and stand back just as he ordered.

He sneaked, crouching as he lazily walked towards some bushes. Suddenly, he heard some screams coming from the side closer to where he commanded Sharky to march, and something deep within him nearly made him pass out from worry.

_Fuck._

He got up, first of all, calculating his chances and how the whole situation would change if he let Sharky deal with it himself, yet he’d settled an issue to move and help his friend, _no,_ rather the man he fucking loved and the man who couldn’t love him back.

That was often on his mind since the day before, he tried his best not to think of the outcome of their yesterday’s kiss, how Sharky literally snapped at him, yelled and pushed him away. It hurt, it hurt so much yet his body and mind kept wanting to be close to the pyromaniac, to feel and touch him, to make him see he was caring and couldn’t simply stop it.

It hurt. But that didn’t stop him to care and worry.

Running towards the mess that unfolded below, hearing more voices, yells, and screams, also a loud explosion — obvious proof that Hurk decided to step into the game too — he tripped, cursing loudly, falling to his legs and rolling down the hill a bit.

_Fuck, fuck, FUCK._

Ben quickly got on his legs, not even bothering about the fact that his pants ripped and that the harsh ground together with the fairly rough fall damaged his skin on his knees. He ran, thinking only about saving Sharky, Hurk, then Jess, in _that_ exact order.

He sometimes hated the fact he had no assault rifle by his side to protect his friends not just from afar. The fact he carried around only his sniper and a small gun wasn't really safe neither for his companions nor himself, but he couldn’t help himself.

When he was closer to the fighting ground, he left his rifle somewhere he knew he would remember about later. Taking out his gun and making sure it’s loaded, he glued to the wall nearby and analyzed the situation. Ben couldn’t hear Sharky anywhere, but some animalistic screams not so far from him made him believe it must have been the pyromaniac’s work. He _hoped_ so.

Another explosion. This one was pretty close to him and it shook his whole body. _God,_ he thought, _Hurk better not kill us in the most stupid way._ The last thing he wanted now was to die because the older cousin thought he was a Peggie too or that he was shooting wherever he heard voices.

Taking a long breath, releasing it after several seconds, he left his cover and ran towards the mess nearly bumping into an alarm and a fairly confused woman that was just about to hit the button. Ben shot her right away and his heart skipped a beat as he pressed to the side of the device, hoping no other enemy noticed his action. Thankfully, the remaining Peggies were focused on — thank God — Sharky who burned already a couple of them, the smell finally reaching this nose.

The Deputy wanted to throw up but swallowed all the awfulness and again left his cover, reaching the nearest enemy to hit them on the head by using the harder part of his weapon, then aiming and trying to shoot the closest one that detected him. He pulled the trigger, though nothing happened.

He saw death stand before him, and his legs weakened when the enemy with a huge smirk aimed back at him, but suddenly, a wild Sharky emerged out of, as it seemed, nothing. That man yelled, cursed, God knows what else as he shot the one who tried to put down Ben, and with his other hand threw a readied molotov at the surprised Peggies that most of all didn’t expect that to happen. They had no time to think as it hit them and exploded with flames, consuming them whole in an instant.

Ben watched it happen, relief slowly building up in his guts as he saw the pyromaniac, now jumping from joy that he got them. They still heard a couple of suspicious noises, Ben keeping his aim, though useless, and it seemed that Hurk handled the rest of the yet alive Peggies himself.

“Yoo, _fuck,_ sorry man, didn’t—” Sharky started yet stopped when he gave Ben a proper look. The Deputy stared at him, though the tired expression that he couldn’t help must have made the pyromaniac clearly see through him. Sharky made his way towards him, running and dropping his shotgun on his way, and the Deputy felt as if suddenly a déjà vu decided to cover his mind from the current reality. It, sort of, was exactly that, though the truth about the past was that back then it was Sharky who nearly shot him, confusing him with a Peggie, and now… now a random Peggie with all honesty wanted him dead.

“Ben, ya fuckin’—are ya hurt?!” The cowboy looked down as the arsonist reached him, realizing there was a whole lot of blood all over his shirt, also that his pants were ripped with stained spots of a red mess as well.

The Deputy gasped, a tad surprised that his clothes were so bloodied.

“Ben...” The other man’s voice softened and his hands were shaking as he gently traced with his fingers the stained shirt, and Ben realized he tried to find in there gun holes. The Deputy analyzed his face, realizing that Sharky _cared,_ that he was worried and that whatever happened and what Ben was afraid _ruined_ their friendship, didn’t change a thing.

They couldn’t be a couple, but at least they could still be friends.

Hiding his emptied gun in the holster, Ben gently grabbed Sharky’s hands into his, trying to pour comfort into the other man, bringing those shaking palms closer up to his chest. Finding enough courage to do so, he kissed his knuckles, seeing that the worry in Sharky’s eyes was nearly piercing through him. It was comforting, in a way, to him, that no matter what Sharky accepted that closeness he barely yesterday refused but at the same time it made Ben feel bittersweet. The Deputy smiled, though sadly.

“It’s not my blood,” his voice was harsh as he finally spoke after a while, and he only now could feel how thirsty he got during those busy with fights minutes. Sharky kept looking into his gray eyes, and Ben suddenly felt the urge to just lean down, to bring their lips together and to properly assure the smaller man that he was completely fine, that nothing wrong happened, and that by most, he just wanted to lay down, cuddle to him, and to sleep.

Things he couldn’t do. Not with Sharky.

Sharky in a slow, even lazy manner, let go of him, the blush on his face getting unreal even to the Deputy. At the same time, Hurk appeared, yelling their names and finally sighing loudly in relief that he’d managed to found them, afraid that they left the outpost without him. The cousins started to excitedly yell around that they’d managed to get rid of the enemies in such an awesome and crazy way while Ben looked around at the deceased Peggies that smelled so horribly he wobbled towards the corner closer to the alarm. He saw there the girl he shot with her eyes open, staring into the sky. Barely an inch above was a small bullet hole that opened the back of her head in a horrific way, making her brains fall out and paint half of the wall.

Then, his body violated an unpleasant shake as he leaned down and threw up.

Ben’s whole shirt was sticking to his body from blood, and he seriously wasn’t so sure about his state or if he didn’t get shot. Swaying towards the place where he hoped his sniper rifle was yet hidden, he heard a couple of new voices, and he was pretty sure the boys found and released their friend, Jess. The Deputy grabbed his weapon, again feeling like throwing up but he fought it back, feeling how weakness was becoming nearly overwhelming, a thing he didn’t want to show. Not now, not here.

He sat down or fell down, he couldn’t tell anymore. The rifle was on his knees, he clutched to it hoping it will stand the pressure he put into it, and his mind got busy with many thoughts, mostly about Sharky. how the pyromaniac wanted to find out more about the past of his rifle, how they stood closer, how they cuddled, touched and how they kissed. It felt as if this was the last day of his life as if he was about to pass away any given minute, and that odd feeling eventually made him violently vomit one more time.

It was horrendous how he was forced to murder so many people, how he had to watch them burn, explode, he literally watched a genocide happen and he took part in this, he couldn’t feel worse about that. He tried to focus on Sharky’s words, how these were their enemies, how they wanted, _desired_ their end and how this was their only purpose in life. But no matter what, that wasn’t helping his mind. Ben kept seeing this as something wrong, and simply couldn’t forgive himself, even if this was for a greater purpose. That, when he long ago decided to become a policeman, a man of law, wasn’t what he thought he would ever do, and yet here he was, murdering, _burning,_ not giving a chance and performing unhonorable murdering to whoever wore the Eden’s Gate cross.

The Deputy stood up, hearing already Sharky’s voice from afar call his name. Ben slowly made his way closer to where the three figures stood, waiting for him to approach them, and he immediately threw the pyromaniac a glance that made the redneck’s expression change.

Ben unnoticeably to others nodded, but he was aware that Sharky would sense it and read as a sign that he was alright. Ben welcomed their new friend, the young girl known as Jess, though she right up gave out orders that their little mission didn’t end yet. Sharing details about the Cook, the man who was responsible for many awful situations, she made it clear she needed their help right away.

With all honesty, Ben could already feel his body protest about more action and fights but before his eyes watered from tears he visibly nodded, accepting the challenge to help Jess.


	10. Forest Fire

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sharky is mad, and with madness boiling within the pyromaniac... there can never happen anything positive.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DISCLAIMER - my beta reader is currently "out of order" so forgive all the mistakes or issues in this chapter, and if you find anything that looks so awful you need to let me know - do it! I will greatly appreciate any feedback! <3

They were all following Jess for some time now, the young girl was leading the trio towards the place where she hoped the Cook with his people would be currently stationed. The area was stunning, the trees lazily buzzing with the huge amount of leaves and the birds cheerfully singing but the mood that settled and the whole atmosphere of that haunting place where Chosen and Judges were running around like crazy made Sharky’s guts twitch in an unpleasant tone.

He watched Ben walk behind Jess like a scared puppy, something he remembered from not so long ago when they both visited the jail, just with the clear difference that back then it was _him_ whose whole posture was bend, smaller and appearing to look invisible. It worried Sharky, it worried him to the core how the Deputy suddenly seemed to occur much smaller than Hurk, and he honestly wanted to move closer to him, to ask what was the matter but that didn’t sound like the best idea.

Hurk was third in their line, moaning how his legs already hurt and how tired he was from all that walking, and Sharky, by all means, wished to kick his butt back to reason because _come on_. The pyromaniac, as the last one in line, closed their little group, having an eye on everyone in front of him. He saw how tensed Jess was, how determined she was to keep going and to take the Cook off no matter the cost. She was beyond mad about that one particular Peggie, so mad she didn’t even give Ben a chance to speak up about himself, and that made Sharky furious too.

Jess kept talking about the past of the Cook, what he did to people and how he both mentally and physically tortured them. It was horrendous, fucking disgusting what he was doing to those innocent people, what he was doing to parents while their children were unaware, how he starved those kids, later feeding them with meat coming straight from those who raised them.

It worried Sharky. Worried because he _knew_ what Ben was thinking about right now, and with the eyes of his imagination the pyromaniac could see how the cowboy’s expression changed and how madness wrinkled his forehead. He also sensed the tiredness radiating from the Deputy to such extent he could feel it himself, yawning a couple of times while he listened to Jess brag about the Cook. They were on foot since early in the morning, and considering the previous day didn’t end well for both, also regarding that Ben probably didn’t sleep very well because of him ─ a thing he honestly hoped didn’t happen ─ it was easy to tell that Ben was way too exhausted to handle the situation on his own.

Ben _needed_ a pause, he wouldn’t say it out loud though but it was clear already when they crashed and the Deputy let them know he required a short while to breathe, not a direct message he was in need of rest but enough for Sharky to be aware of his state. Now it was worse, it must have been way worse with Ben’s condition, and Sharky could sense that if he would speak up about it, Ben would obviously negate it and keep going.

Hurk suddenly bumped into Ben, whining and mumbling a sorry but the Deputy didn’t say a word, just smiled and nodded. The older cousin after he was reassured kept moving forward, following Jess that didn’t even notice that this small situation occurred. Sharky made a few more steps to join Ben and finally had a chance to look at his face.

 _Fuck._ His own lips parted in an attempt to gasp which he successfully choked up in his throat before any sounds left his mouth. _Fuckin’ mother._ Ben had visible, huge eye bags that made this forever cheerful man appear to be much older than Hurk and Sharky altogether. The bigger man seemed to be sick with how blank his eyes stared back at him and Sharky wasn’t even afraid to think that Ben must have lost weight in barely a couple hours. All that mixed together made the pyromaniac worry so fucking much that he gave up and yelled at Hurk and Jess to wait.

“Wait, fuckin’ sake, _WAIT,_ ya guys,” he raised his voice when they didn’t even turn around and once they did, they stared in confusion, waiting for further orders though Jess visibly grew impatient.

“What is it? We don’t have time to waste, we have to move,” Jess quietly though in a bossy way spoke up, making Sharky’s face twist in anger. She was slowly getting on his nerves and he was close to exploding in order to protect Ben.

“Fuck right we have time,” he chided, “ya waited locked in there _days,_ ya can wait a couple more hours─

“I’ve waited enough, Sharky. I don’t wanna sit and watch you guys relax while the Cook keeps breathing as if nothing was wrong with that.” She made several steps towards them, raging at the pyromaniac who currently wanted to burn the whole world only to make Jess shut up and take a look at the Deputy.

Suddenly, Sharky felt a touch, a gentle touch on his finger that made him take a long, harsh breath. He glanced at where Ben stood, seeing his huge frame now much closer to his own, and that fucking cowboy was smiling down at him as if nothing that was so clearly written on his face mattered.

“It’s okay,” Ben mumbled softly, “don’t worry.” Their hands literally clasped now.

“Ben, fuckin’ hell, you can’t just, you─”

 _“Whatever,”_ was Jess’ quiet comment that still reached their ears and made Sharky be interrupted as she turned on her foot and kept walking forward. Hurk hesitated as Sharky noticed when he looked in rage at him with a silent order _not_ to follow her but suddenly Ben also moved and left Sharky behind.

“Ben,” he immediately trotted closer, grabbing the Deputy’s arm enough to stop him. “Goddamnit, dude, ya look like shit, ya gonna get yourself killed if ya keep goin’.” He stared up at the freckled cowboy, seeing so clearly that he wished to listen to the pyromaniac’s babble and just lay down to sleep.

“I’m a cop, I’ve been through worse.” Ben’s head swayed to the side and Sharky’s eyes followed, spotting Jess in the distance that apparently decided to wait for them.

“No, shit dude, ya were _the fuck not!_ ” he grabbed Ben more firmly now, nearly shaking the cowboy back to reason in a desperate act to stop him from doing something he would later regret. “Fuckin’ listen to me dude, ya don’t need to help her.”

“I have to,” the Deputy sighed, stepping again a little closer to the pyromaniac. He lowered his voice even more now and it was definitely meant only for Sharky to hear. “And I’m glad you want to help me, I appreciate that but… it’s my job, she asked me to help and I agreed.”

“Dude… _Ben,_ me and Hurk can go there alone, we gonna be fine,” Sharky’s voice had a begging tone he never thought he could achieve but the worry, the fucking knowledge that next time Ben might simply get himself killed, that was reason enough for the arsonist to want to beg ─ soon on knees ─ only to make the cowboy stay and rest here.

“We need to move,” Ben sighed from exhaustion, “Jess is waiting.” Sharky felt this huge hand slip away from his, and he wanted to grab him back and protest but he knew by now that the more he would try the more helpless he would end up feeling. He turned away from his companions, cursing loudly though only for his ears to capture and suddenly, he noticed a pile of something suspicious.

A pile of bodies.

It didn’t take long for Sharky to realize that _this_ was the cause of why Ben stopped in his tracks. They were burned, burned and forgotten, like trash that didn’t matter, and what caught his attention was that most of those bodies, if yet visible, had some of their limbs cut off. It was a horrendous sight, and he was aware that his ways weren’t the most humanitarian anyway, he understood now why Ben wanted to help Jess so badly.

He’d noticed before how Ben so badly tried to become a hero, how he wanted to fulfill his job and goal as a cop to keep helping those who required his help. Sharky knew there was no possibility to stop him anymore, especially now when he was already on the way to save more people who needed and awaited his rescue but _fuck,_ Ben couldn’t just keep putting himself to danger for the community because if he fails… that obviously won’t save anyone at all.

Sharky gulped, clutching to his shotgun and trotting towards the cowboy just this time not daring to stop him from wandering straight to death. He walked now beside the huge cowboy man, acting as if nothing happened, nearly waiting for the other man to speak up.

Thankfully to his tarnished sanity, Ben sighed and declared.

“I promise, _promise,”_ he emphasized the word, “that once this is done, we’re going to drive right back to Fall’s End and spend there a couple of days drinking beer.”

Ben swayed to the side and pushed the pyromaniac playfully, making him whine a loud _‘hey’_ but he giggled nonetheless, loving this idea and feeling relieved that the Deputy came out with this on his own. He didn’t say anything else though, just slowly walked beside the cowboy to where Jess together with Hurk waited for them, and all of them continued their way to get rid of the Cook.

Sharky informed Jess about their plans, that once they get rid of their target and finish the mission, they intend to focus on chilling out on their out which would also require for them to drive back to Holland Valley. He mentioned that of course she could anytime hook them up, and if she would end up in need of help, especially urgent, she could just let them know though not in the next couple of days because they were planning to get completely wrecked.

Hurk clearly got excited about that idea, possibly losing himself in thinking about how he missed Fall’s End and drinking there which he didn’t do in many years, especially not with Sharky. It amused the pyromaniac, it even more amused him that indeed, they didn’t get to drink together in town for _years._ He missed his cousin, he didn’t even think of that before but now it hit him with enormous force that they needed, especially after that bullshit ends, some time, like vacations, just for each other.

“We’re nearly there,” Jess interrupted his train of thoughts, lowering her voice to instruct them to stay quiet as well. Sharky huffed, finding it fairly hilarious how she seemed to be just like Ben, the type to prefer fights in a stealthy way, and here they were, together with two dudes that always end up making the loudest mess in the whole of Hope.

They decided to hide in bushes on the hill so they didn’t see the area clearly yet, but Sharky already knew that Ben won’t react in a serene way to what they were about to see. Ben was crouching right next to him, and the pyromaniac wished to take his hand into his own just to pour into the Deputy some comfort he was aware this huge man needed now. They kept moving closer and once the area before them was more visible, showing several crates filled to the hilt with prisoners, he heard the Deputy gasp. He could feel chills lowering the temperature of his whole body as his eyes adjusted to the sight. Fuck, all that he saw disgusted him but the rage boiling within the lawman could be sensed from miles, as Sharky suddenly noticed.

Bodies, parts of bodies, that horrific smell of burned bodies, that smell Sharky was familiar with in levels he didn’t even want to think of and with all honestly didn’t appreciate at all. But he was used to that, in a horrible, even scary way he was used to that smell of burned flesh while Ben… Ben wasn’t, and he knew that. Other than that, those bodies, those poor people, _fucking hell,_ they were treated worse than what he imagined after Jess declared how horrible the Cook was.

That freak was literally _cooking_ human meat.

It had come to his attention that Ben moved a bit when Jess asked the Deputy how to handle the situation and how to take them out for nobody to detect them. Sharky glanced at him, trying to spot what exactly the Deputy had written on his face, but fuck, what he saw made his hands sweaty from worry and his heart skip a beat. He had to fight the urge to grab and stop him from doing anything stupid he was fairly aware that emotions could cause. Ben was staring back at him, and that was the main thing that startled him dearly.

Ben appeared like a completely different person, there was no usual softness on his young, freckled face, and it _scared_ the pyromaniac how in hell was it possible for the Deputy to appear so serious in just a split of a second.

“We need to work quietly not to make them want to use those prisoners against us,” Ben’s voice was haunting, its tone so low Sharky’s body shivered whole. The cowboy looked away to search for the smaller man, making the pyromaniac’s heart skip a beat. “Hurk, I beg you, stand back and _do not_ involve in fights.”

Hurk’s agreement sounded as if a child wailed instead of him, so it must have gotten to the older cousin of his that Ben became extremely serious about the situation and how he wished for it to be handled.

“You, Jess, keep an eye on the Cook,” she evidently wanted to interrupt but the Deputy didn’t let her, “do whatever you want with him, he’s yours.” She nodded, undoubtedly satisfied with that answer. “Go that way now,” Ben pointed a direction, “and watch the situation if they start to go my way, shoot.”

Sharky gulped loudly, waiting for the Deputy to give him orders as well, and once Ben turned back to him to speak up, he lowered and softened his voice, hopefully noticing the everlasting worry clearly painted on the pyromaniac’s face.

“Stay close to me, okay? I have no bullets left in my gun so I’m basically helpless on my own.” Ben seemed determined, ready for the fights to start but he also must have come to the decision to be much more careful that what Sharky assumed the Deputy would want to be.

“Sure… sure thing man,” his own voice was sore but he had to assure his friend he wouldn’t leave his side not even for a second. They all glanced for the last time at the area in front of them as Ben gave an order for everyone to sneak to their specified spots.

Both Hurk and Jess moved, both towards different directions. Sharky quickly turned to his cousin to quietly yell at him not to walk away too far because in case things went completely wrong, he was their only way to survive. Hurk nodded and clumsily hid in some bushes not so far from them. Jess completely disappeared from their sight somewhere, hopefully there where Ben told her to hide.

The enemies were yet unaware about their surroundings, and Sharky hoped, really hoped, they would stay that way for long. He didn’t want for the Deputy to overwork himself when he already seemed more exhausted than what he should be, and from what he’d seen there weren’t _that_ many enemies in sight to be taken down. Thankfully.

Ben aimed his sniper rifle, and Sharky lost himself in watching him in action. He could see the chest of his slowing down, lowering the number of breaths per minute, he also realized that Ben got extremely focused on the environment, searching for something, _scanning_ the area. He suddenly shot, and that startled the pyromaniac so much he jumped on his spot, making the bush’s leaves tickle the back of his neck.

The Deputy gave him a quick glance, sending him a smile to reassure his friend that everything was fine. It worked, in a way, but Sharky eventually himself turned to face the battle area not to miss an enemy who could have accidentally spotted their position and rush at them.

He shot again, and Sharky saw the selected Peggie fall to the ground in an instant. Fuck, Ben was one of the best, if not the actual _best_ sharpshooter he ever saw, with all respect to Grace. Ben was insanely talented, he didn’t see him once miss, though he was aware that this for sure happened before, he wasn’t _perfect_ , nobody was.

Glancing for a second at the cowboy, he smiled, because this man in many ways _was_ perfect.

Noticing another Peggie fall, he realized that Jess must have decided to step into the game too. She killed someone who possibly nearly spotted a deceased companion of theirs or got too close to the huntress so she was simply forced to take them out before she was detected ─ Sharky tried to find a reason of why she did when the orders were clear.

Soon enough, most of the Peggies were dead, and Sharky got fairly excited that the Deputy wasn’t forced to overwork himself to get rid of them just to make Jess have a straight and empty way to the Cook.

“Sharky?” The gentle voice startled him, and he glanced at Ben who smiled at him one of those smiles that were making him weak. “Will you go down there to release those prisoners?”

The pyromaniac didn’t think twice as he picked himself up to carefully and yet cautiously sneak to the Cook’s outpost. He heard one more shot when he was still close to the bushes in which they were hiding, and now he was sure that all of the enemies were put down. Jess would now busy herself with dealing with the main reason they all were here, and they finally could wander back to where they have left their car to drive back to Fall’s End.

It seemed to go way too perfect and all _fun and games_ till now.

Sharky started to pray to the goddess of beer, titties, and pussy not to let things go to shit because they all needed a while for themselves, especially after all those horrible recent events.

Jess sneaked towards the unaware Cook who was fairly occupied with preparing a meal to his prisoners and his own ─ now dead ─ people, and he noticed neither the girl nor the pyromaniac behind him. The huntress didn’t even think twice when she let him know she was close, and once the enemy turned to face her she punched the hell out of him, making the surprised Peggie fall to the ground in an instant.

Sharky watched it happen, smirking with incredible satisfaction at how she handled the man who ruined the lives of so many people, and he honestly wished to do much worse things to him but he sadly couldn’t have everything.

He busied himself in releasing those poor people who were locked, starved, and for sure dehydrated, though he was clueless about how to help them besides the obvious fact of setting them free. Some of them seemed scared of him, as if unsure if this wasn’t just a lie or a test so he tried his best to show them that he had the best intentions.

Ben emerged out of nowhere right next to him, _thankfully,_ telling those people to, first of all, trust them and calm down, that he was a Deputy here to help and rescue them, also to go south towards Henbane River where people from the jail would wait for them, and Sharky’s eyebrows quirked from amusement.

This was a lie, and he couldn’t stop to stare at the Deputy who he believed and _knew_ was the last one to lie to people he tried to fucking _save._ He hoped that Ben knew what the fuck he was doing because if they all were about to turn into Angels, life wouldn’t get any easier on them.

“Jess, are you done with him?” Ben asked and glanced over at the pyromaniac, giving him such an expression that he gazed towards the girl, unable to keep the eye contact. Hurk finally joined them as well as the huntress turned away from the now deceased body of the Cook, all bloodied, mad, though clearly satisfied with the outcome of their mission.

“Good, now… there’s something I need you to do.” Ben busied himself in asking and explaining to the young girl how to help all those poor people reach the jail, even try to contact the Sheriff and no matter if she would manage to or not, he will himself try to do so, reaching Dutch’s bunker hopefully before they reach the river that was working as the border of the two territories. She agreed, taking a bit before she answered but she agreed nonetheless, mostly because Ben let her do exactly whatever she wanted to the Cook and that was all she expected from him, now it was her time to pay it off.

In the meantime Sharky helped someone locked in a cage who couldn’t stand up at all, he even called Hurk to help him because they weren’t in the best state at all and he couldn’t aid them on his own. This person, and old, skinny woman, needed proper treatment, and it was clear she urgently needed to be taken to a hospital. She seemed to be completely starved as if refusing to take whatever the Cook was giving her if there even was anything he shared with them.

Ben helped some others when he noticed Sharky’s piercing stare nearly _yelling_ at him to help them out because he was clueless on how to save this poor woman who couldn’t even stand on her own legs anymore. The Deputy, once done with his own business, right away appeared by their side, checking her out in ways Sharky wouldn’t think of ─ another thing with which the lawman surprised him with. He must have had proper knowledge about first aid, it was clear with how smoothly he came to the decision this woman was in agony and that without professional help, there was no way to save her.

Sharky together with the Deputy carefully laid her on the ground, the pyromaniac following Ben’s moves and realizing by that that all he wanted was for her to peacefully die. Hurk left them, clearly unable to watch this happen when Ben gently put her head on his lap, brushing some hair away from her face while quietly talking to her.

It was surely hard to stop the tears slowly appearing in the Deputy’s eyes as he watched her breath ease at just his words, and Sharky couldn’t stop to look at the scene of showing pure affection to a completely random woman. It wasn’t something he saw often, and that made him stare in an uncomfortable to those two ─ for sure ─ way but Ben didn’t say a word. It did the job, in made Sharky see the empathy in this man and have his heart flutter in ways he never felt before. He didn’t want to die, not in the way this poor woman was currently suffering but he wanted to be held by Ben like that, to be in the center of attention, he was nearly fucking _jealous_ of that, and that made him a tad ashamed.

She passed away, he didn’t even notice when as Ben gently closed her eyes and laid her lifeless body on the ground. Ben stood up and his frame shook a sob which the Deputy clearly choked in, a little thing Sharky noticed, and that made the pyromaniac consider his options, yet the fact there were too many around didn’t end up in Sharky pushing his body towards the cowboy to comfort him with a hug.

_Ya are ridiculous, Boshaw, a fuckin’ coward._

Ben moved away from them, leaving the many people that gathered around to pay respects to the one who was freed but didn’t make it.

Sharky wanted to run away, feeling out of sudden completely ashamed by the fact everyone watched and was focused on bidding goodbyes to their friend, someone they knew, their neighbor, and he was lost in thought about Ben being the prince who would save and hold him like the pussy he was.

_Fuck._

Someone protested, saying that they won’t leave until they’ve buried the dead, and others followed, taking care of the deceased woman and others who didn’t even make it out to freedom. Jess together with Hurk waited, letting them honor the dead while Ben… _shit, where the fuck was Ben?_

He walked away, following the path that Ben possibly took, finding the man ─ _thank god_ ─ yet close in the area, sitting with his face hidden in his hands, his body shaking in quiet cries.

Sharky felt his legs weaken at that sight, he never saw Ben cry before, and that was so new, so bizarre to him, to see this huge cowboy man suddenly seem so small and so vulnerable, so… _alone._ That made him freeze in his tracks, unable to think of anything proper that could make him possibly help Ben in this situation he had no clue how to solve.

He had zero, honest _no_ idea what to do, how to help Ben, how to even show him in a right and friendly way he was there for him but out of sudden he got worried that showing affection may result in the Deputy again hoping and believing that Sharky had feelings for him as well, a thing Sharky _wanted_ to show him but knew that was pointless now, considering he hurt Ben in a horrific way just the day before.

_Fuck me._

Moving closer, Sharky sat beside the bigger man, hearing the Deputy gasp surprised and also feeling his body move in a violent shake. Before the cowboy could even move away, he captured a glimpse of his tired and wet from tears face and Sharky grabbed his shoulders, pulling him into an awkward embrace, half kneeling but managing to literally close himself around Ben’s head to make the other man bury himself in his arms.

Ben sobbed more, and Sharky _let him_ , knowing deep down this was the right thing to do, the _only_ thing he could do for the Deputy, the only possible action he was aware would help, in a way. He wanted, _wished_ to do better but he had no clue what else he could by chance perform to help the other man deal with those things he apparently had a difficult time dealing with, being completely alone in this mess.

Sharky most than anyone was perfectly aware how it felt to be alone, and the last thing he wanted now was for Ben to feel the same.

He could sense Ben’s palms cling to his hoodie, the one he yesterday gifted him with, the one who meant nothing to them both but the one Sharky treated like proof of their friendship. It was worn, it even had a hole but this only made it appear softer, more personal, and since he didn’t wear anything beneath, he strongly perceived Ben’s touch that made his whole body lean towards the other man, making it whole appear even more awkward.

Ben eventually let go of him, wiping the last of tears away, mumbling something under his breath that Sharky didn’t catch. He assured the Deputy though that the others made themselves busy with burying the dead and that he could take his time, he will even leave him alone if he needs but Ben with a panicked and trembling voice chided in, asking him to stay, and so Sharky did.

They sat in complete silence, Ben wiping the tears away and trying his best to look decent. It appeared that the Deputy didn’t want for others to see his state of weakness and Sharky tried to respect that, he just hoped that Ben felt comfortable with the pyromaniac’s presence.

The cowboy stood up, picking up his rifle and giving the arsonist a hand to help him up as well. Sharky nodded, accepting it but not saying any more words not to let out any unnecessary bullshit in such an intimate moment between them.

They slowly walked to where everyone stood just in time for the Deputy to approach the newly prepared graves, possibly busying himself in prayers together with all the others. Sharky didn’t stand that far from them, watching it happen while playing around with the rings on his fingers, nervousness creeping on his cheeks.

He wished he could do more, he honestly wished there were ways to fix things between them and for the Deputy to truly see in him not just a friend but a _best friend,_ though maybe even a boyfriend?

_No, wait. Too fuckin’ soon._

Was it truly too soon for that, though? Sharky was still a walking ball of mess that had no idea what he wanted from life and to have a _boyfriend_ was the last thing he would think he would ever want to have. It was beyond his imagination that he would ever consider giving up pussy and any other wonder a woman could give for… _for Ben._

Once again he’d found himself thinking about that matter, about how it wasn’t a _man_ that busied his mind, it was Ben. It wasn’t a dick that made his own dick go nuts and twitch from desire, it was Ben, and at last, it wasn’t a dude that made his heart flutter with love, it was _Ben._

During all that time when he was lost in thoughts, the people who they’d rescued slowly made their way and followed Jess towards where he also knew Henbane River was located, marching slowly while the young woman instructed them which berries they can gather while in a forest to please their starved stomachs. Hurk moaned something to Ben, the Deputy listening to him but interrupting his speech to promise they will return to exactly where they’ve left their car and Sharky stood there in place, one hand busied with his shotgun, the other still fidgeting with his rings.

“Come, Sharky, we’re done here,” were the Deputy’s words that made the pyromaniac move. He wouldn’t say a word to _anyone_ that he saw Ben’s moment of weakness, he promised that to himself.

They walked in silence, and the pyromaniac was utterly glad that his cousin decided to stay just as silent as they currently were. When they’d reached the Baron Lumber Mill, they straight up walked towards the forest where they have left their vehicle, and Ben literally threw himself inside on the backseat to grab his backpack to drink nearly two bottles of water at once. Sharky observed him, feeling relieved that at last the Deputy could relax a bit, not worry about everything and everyone.

It started to annoy him how everyone in the fucking County was using the cop, thinking he was a goddamn machine that needed no pause. He most of all needed that, he fucking _deserved_ time for himself, and they would all have only that in the next several days.

He couldn’t stop the happiness from showing on his face when it hit the pyromaniac they could rest now and have a beer or two once they reach Fall’s End. Ben in the meantime left the car, smiling so sweetly at the arsonist that sat down on a fallen tree his heart skipped a beat, and he couldn’t help but smile back.

He sighed, enjoying the much more vivid expression on this freckled though yet tired face. He patted the free space next to him but Ben shook his head.

“Later, alright? We need to move on,” Ben explained and helped the arsonist back up who let out a long and exhausted groan. He himself wasn’t _that_ tired but he wished for the Deputy to rest only a bit, _a second,_ before they drive back to Holland Valley. “We also need to contact Sheriff Whitehorse with the help of Dutch, those people need to get to safety and this simply can’t wait.”

Sharky understood his point, he _kinda_ did, yet Ben once again didn’t think about his own good.

They settled themselves in the car but suddenly Ben heard something suspicious that he decided to check which made the pyromaniac immediately follow him, remembering how he didn’t have any bullets left in his gun, also not noticing if the Deputy changed the magazine before leaving the car. Hurk had whined that he wished to stay in the car, protecting their belongings in case the enemies decided to steal their property. 

He followed Ben into the deeper forest, and himself he out of nothing heard something shuffle in the bushes nearby, turning there and immediately aiming. Sharky warned whoever was hiding there, that he won’t hesitate, but he got a reply only from the wind buzzing around the leaves.

Suddenly, he heard some distant calls as Ben’s scream rose among the forest’s sounds. Sharky’s legs weakened in an instant and the whole blood from his head flew down in seconds as he turned and realized he lost the Deputy from sight.

 _Fuck, fuck no,_ _fuckin’ mother!_

“Ben!!” His voice got incredibly high pitched as he squeaked his name, running towards the area where he believed Ben’s desperate calls came from. He couldn’t lose his best friend like that, he fucking _couldn’t._ No way. No way. _No fuckin’ way._

_Ben, hold on, I’m comin’, I’m comin’ for ya!!_

Sharky couldn’t tell if he was yelling this out loud or not, he couldn’t even tell if suddenly his legs didn’t become enormous cubes of jelly that couldn’t carry his body forward, it all seemed like a nightmare from which he would wake up any minute and by all means, he hoped he would.

He ran, hoped he ran until he saw approximately five Chosen around the already half conscious Deputy that had a long, awfully long arrow coming out of his thigh. They dragged him towards a parked car there, and Sharky could in no time feel something deep within him start to boil from unbelievable rage. The pyromaniac made about himself known as he yelled in an animalistic way, shooting the first Chosen on sight and putting them on fire, praising the sight, screams, and smell but what came next...

Nothing but darkness and Ben’s faint voice calling his name.


	11. The River Has Run Dry

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You must obey.  
> You must cull the weak. 
> 
> Ben must face one of Joseph's sadistic brothers. How will it go? How will it end? Ben wishes to find out answers to those questions as well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DISCLAIMER - my beta reader is currently "out of order" so forgive all the mistakes or issues in this chapter, and if you find anything that looks so awful you need to let me know - do it! I will greatly appreciate any feedback! <3

“Ben? Bennyyyy?” a young voice called him from afar, and he snickered. “Oh, come on…”

Ben heard his footsteps, though knew there was no possible way for the one who was yelling to find his hidden self.

“Okay, _okay,_ you’ve won, come out, pleeeeeeeeeease! Beeeeen!!!”

Upon hearing the plea, the young cowboy left his hiding spot ― he was lying nearly completely covered under hay ― and he still managed to surprise the little boy who was standing with his back facing Ben, completely unaware the cowboy was sneaking behind him. He’d caught and right away picked the little one up, twirling him around in an attempt to make the boy laugh. Ben menacingly laughed, screaming into the air his victory when his father yelled at them to stop this nonsense.

“Benjamin, for God’s sake, how old are you?”, at the question Ben right away put the young one down, the smaller frame hiding behind him as Richard, the cowboy’s father, approached them. His father was wearing a shirt, similar to the one Ben was currently wearing, though Richard decided for a patterned dark blue one, worn, though not dirty. Ben’s shirt was as red as his flushed face, feeling ashamed that his father caught them playing together.

His son looked down, not daring to stare into his piercing eyes, and since the younger boy was around, he hoped, truly hoped that Richard wouldn’t do anything that would later give Ben nightmares about.

“Staci Pratt… you didn’t come to our ranch to play around, did you?” The bossy voice was directed at the hidden smaller boy who was shaking from fear behind Ben, and Ben gently moved away for his father to have a clearer view at Staci, yet he put his hand on Staci’s shoulder in a protective manner.

“No, sir, I... I-I...,” Richard did a fairly audible _‘tsk tsk’_ sound, then glanced over at his son who was tensed to the core.

“Take him away to his father, he has a job to be done,” he ordered, and that order was directed at Ben, “and don’t play around with those rednecks, I beg you, son. I’ve raised you better."

Ben nodded, not daring to say a word. Richard made his way back to the stables, checking there if work was done right. The young cowboy in the meantime found Staci’s hand, leading him away from this excuse of a father he had. He hoped Richard wouldn’t dare to bother them anymore, he simply couldn’t allow for Staci to suffer because of his father’s hotheaded behavior.

“Your dad is so scary, Ben,” Staci didn’t even need to be lead, he clearly wanted to run away from Richard as fast as possible. “Why doesn’t he like me?”

Ben stopped in his tracks, grabbing the young boy’s shoulders to stop him as well and for Ben to be able to look straight into his huge, scared eyes. Staci truly seemed to fear Richard, and Ben couldn’t forgive himself that fact that someone so small, foreign had to be scared of someone only _Ben_ was allowed to fear. He wanted to protect this boy from his own father, he wanted to protect him from that bullshit that Richard shouldn’t have involved such a young boy. Yet the fact that his father wasn’t the easiest on him when he was _much younger_ didn’t make Ben believe he would be any better to Staci as well if only Staci annoyed Richard enough.

“He doesn’t like anyone,” Ben spoke in a soft, comforting tone to the smaller boy, “he’s… peculiar and therefore easily irritated but I won’t allow him to hurt you ever, okay? I won’t allow for _anyone_ to hurt you, you hear me, Staci?”

“Yes, Benny,” Staci sobbed, “thank you,” the boy right away threw himself into Ben’s embrace who picked him up in an instant, savoring the little moment between them. The cowboy had no doubts about the fact he treated him like he would treat a little brother of his and he was more than anything certain that he would always try his best to stay close. He aspired to be both a father and brother figure Staci clearly needed.

They clutched close, and both hoped that nobody wouldn’t dare to interrupt them.

* * *

 

Pain.

Radiating, terrible, horrific. It consumed his body and mind, making him wish to just pass out again, to let his mind not register anything, and for that suffering to _end._

He barely woke up and he already wished to be unconscious again.

They patched him up, wrapping his leg in a poorly way, and Ben could feel the fever slowly evolving from the untreated wound. He needed proper treatment, he needed aid coming from someone who would know how to help him best… Ben was aware this wouldn’t happen, not because they hadn’t had anyone to take care of him, the truth was that since he was a prisoner, he couldn’t expect more than what he had.

The Deputy was locked in a small cage, not made for humans at all, feeling there worse than an animal forced to sit in a shelter with too little space to run around free. He was shaking, and his frame was pressed against several bars of the crate that made his muscles ache. Ben was afraid to give his wounded leg a glance, he barely could sense it through the fever running his body and through all the pain that made his mind unable to think straight. All around him were other cages filled to the hilt with prisoners, and he, at least, was alone, so in a way he was lucky.

_Was I really?_

He tried to move a bit, the ache only making it all worse, and he wanted to scream in frustration and pain. Looking down at his straightened right leg of his, his shaking hands reached towards the bandages. Wobbling like jelly, the Deputy tried to fix it, trying to unbind them but he needed water, he needed new bandages, _urgently,_ he knew there were no chances for that but he hoped, _God he hoped,_ that someone would be merciful enough to help him out. Ben eventually gave up trying, knowing that if he unties the cloth blood might stream out, making the situation even worse.

Someone was crying in the cage nearby, someone else was repeating pleas to release them free, and Ben… Ben was silent, not even daring to talk not to exhaust himself completely, though in ways he wished for that to happen, he wished to just _die_ and for this nightmare to end.

Hours passed, and his body was protesting more and more, demanding food and water, and his leg… God, he started to be sure that the condition of his wounded limb would turn out to nothing positive, maybe even end up being amputated. This didn’t please his already wrecked mind, no, this made him only panic and shake more, and eventually, he started to quietly sob.

Several people already died, and Peggies appeared every single time to take the bodies away. It scared the Deputy, yet he wished each time someone passed away for him to be the next.

At some point Ben couldn’t tell anymore if hours or days passed, he wasn’t paying attention to the sun on the sky, he didn’t even want to because he knew that if he did, he would end up being depressed in ways beyond his sanity. There was only one thing he was sure of though. It had been too much time without food, too much time without water, he _needed_ that, he needed something to drink, _anything,_ and his mind was already giving him ideas to start drinking piss in order not to dehydrate.

His lips were dried out, and his stomach was about to start consuming itself.

_God, please, help me out._

Ben was praying, out of insanity, hunger, dehydration, out of pain, enormous pain that didn’t just radiate from the wound on his leg but also from his head. The migraine became nearly unbearable, making his thoughts happen to be a mess of words and random images.

His breath got quicker, and he felt as if he couldn’t catch air anymore, panicking that he was about to choke locked in a cage, and he wanted to laugh. To suffocate before the dehydration does the job sounded like mercy he demanded. He needed water, he needed to drink something, and he was aware that he won’t drink anything soon, he knew that his kidney, only _one_ kidney, wouldn't manage to do its work and that his time was coming to an end.

Irritated, he wanted to pee, he wanted to pee just to catch it into his trembling hand and drink his urine but no matter how hard he tried, there was nothing, literally _nothing_ leaving his limp cock. It left him frustrated, and out of desperation he even tried to masturbate, nearly puking at the idea of drinking his own sperm, though his dick didn’t react to his moves at all.

Shaking in a violent way, Ben started to pray out loud, hoping for his end not to be as painful as it was right now, and he cried, cried so much but nothing was leaving his horribly swollen up eyes.

He wanted to die, he _wished_ to die. Ben’s only desire was to stop to breathe and to never feel this horrible pain ever again.

At some point, someone appeared by his cage, opening it and throwing a bucket of ice cold water at him, the fluid making him shiver even more than before, yet his half-conscious mind captured some of the water — or whatever the fuck it was — into his mouth to hydrate his body, even though only a little.

This person, a Peggie, forced him up, and his wobbly legs, not to mention his wounded leg, refused to work and he literally slipped away from their long. He screamed in pain, getting punched in his face in return, and the Peggie called someone to help them out. Coughing out blood or saliva, Ben couldn’t tell, he whined at them in an attempt to show them he was now truly ready to do whatever they desired him to do.

He was again picked up, though only sort of because he still was forced to use his weakened limbs.

Ben was taken to some closed area, though he didn’t register much of the interior besides the fact it was fairly dark inside. He was put on a chair and tied to it in a painful way but he didn’t give a flying fuck anymore to whatever they were doing to him. There was a table in front of him, a cloth hiding whatever was underneath.

“What do you wish to fight for? Food or water?” The question was only a faint sound he heard from somewhere far away, and he opened his mouth to speak up but couldn’t say a word. “Fuckin’ answer, weakling.” He was punched into his belly this time, and Ben could feel all of his organs literally spasm from pain. About to throw up, he coughed a couple of times, though nothing left his mouth no more.

He was asked again, and barely, with a silent and completely dried up voice, he managed to mutter. _“Water...”_

They took the blanket off the table, revealing underneath random weapons for Ben to choose, as they stated. Ben was too tired, way too weak to be even able to move his hands not to mention pick up a fairly heavy weapon, yet the idea that they proposed him water became quite appealing.

He demanded water, his body, already at the state of agony, demanded water. The Deputy searched with his eyes the fluid, he wanted to be sure they didn’t lie, and the Peggies realized he wasn’t stupid, so one of them left and several minutes later showed him a cup filled to the hilt with water.

They quickly instructed that he can’t choose the weapon nor shoot yet, not before he doesn’t hear the music. It confused Ben, though they confirmed that he will understand in a minute, also that he will perfectly know where to aim.

Those Peggies unbound the hold on his hands, letting his arms free, then both of them walked behind him, threatening the Deputy that if he would try anything stupid, they have arrows ready and won’t hesitate if he would only try to turn around.

Suddenly, the music roared, piercing into his ears and brain, making it seem as if this was something impossible to bear, and he wanted to run, and he wanted to die but out of instinct he stood up and chose the nearest weapon, finding deep within his brain some feral strength, and he shot the targets and kept shooting until the magazine got emptied.

He nearly passed out, wobbling on his legs back to the chair as the gun he let go loudly landed on the ground. No idea how it was possible, he felt no pain radiating from his limb when he stood up and did as told, though now, as he sat back, he could feel how the ache was making his vision blurry.

The Peggies immediately stepped closer and gave him the promised water, and Ben drank it whole, nearly choking on the fluid he so dearly missed. He demanded more, he was shaking and he begged for more, so the Peggies gave each other a look, and eventually declared.

“If you desire more, you will need to cull a weak one.”

Ben considered that option, mostly because he had no idea what the fuck that meant.

“W-weak… weak one?” His trembling voice surprised him, and he hoped they would answer before they would force him into something he didn’t wish to do.

“A person who is too weak to make it till tomorrow,” stated the other Peggie.

The Deputy felt something deep within him boil from rage, yet the need of water was so unbearable to him he truly considered this option they gave him, to rescue someone from this mess by murdering them, and himself be gifted with water he demanded but... _no._ He couldn’t. He fucking couldn’t. Not for a glass of water. He wouldn’t trade a life just for a glass of fucking water. That was against all of his rules.

“No.” he whined, and with this answer, he was forcefully grabbed under his shoulders and again lead towards the cage of his where they locked and left him alone.

From now on, every single evening he was taken away to that dark, quiet room, where he was listening to the music and shooting whatever was on his way only to get water or food, of his choosing. Ben at some point even managed to make up a schedule, deciding to take water twice in a row, then food, then again two days of water. It wasn’t enough, it _never_ was but that still was much better than nothing.

His leg didn’t get any better either, and at some point, he’d literally begged them to change his bandages, though they refused by not listening to his pleas at all. It worried him, mostly because he knew the amount of food and water he consumed didn’t help at all the state of his limb.

One day, someone appeared by his cage, a Peggie yelling at them to get inside.

Ben didn’t dare to give a look to the situation unfolding in front of his prison but when the voice of that person who was pushed inside reached his ears, he snapped his face at its direction. He nearly threw himself at that man, grabbing the young boy and cuddling to him in a desperate and needy matter.

“Ben, let go of me,” that sounded like heaven to the Deputy’s ears, “we… we can’t, we can’t do that, not… not here, _not now.”_

“Staci…” his own trembling voice spoke out this name like a prayer, he was sure, he was so _fucking sure_ that Staci, especially in those conditions, had died a long time ago. Yet here he was, looking well though with clear signs that he went through hell and back as well. The boy still wore the deputy outfit Ben got rid off on the day the shit started, it looked worn, and it smelled in such a disgusting matter that if he wasn’t in such a physical shape as he was currently, he definitely would throw up.

“Staci,” he echoed himself as if begging the younger Deputy to just… do something, _anything._

“Show me… show me your leg,” the younger man ordered, letting of Ben go. He revealed to him a whole aid packet he was given to help, and Ben literally sobbed from relief. “They said you were doing good, that you were showing signs of strength so… so they’ve told me to redo your bandages, I’m… they’re merciful.”

Ben was mad, suddenly he felt such madness consume his mind that he wanted to slap the younger man back to reason but he was so weak he couldn’t do shit but watch. He adjusted himself, giving the younger man better access to his wounded limb. Staci right away focused on it, unwrapping the yellow and bloodied old patches, revealing the disturbingly unpleasant looking scar. The arrow went completely through, to Ben’s luck, yet it didn’t heal well over the time he was locked away.

Staci’s face twisted in what Ben assumed was clear aversion though still worked on the wound, cleaning it up with water that made Ben’s whole mouth literally flood with saliva, and, _thank God,_ the young boy upon making sure nobody watched them, gave him the rest of the water that was left.

He drank it whole, savoring its taste and trying to hold back a painful whine as Staci treated him but he knew it was for the best, so he shut his mouth and waited.

“You shouldn’t… you shouldn't have come for me…” Staci’s silent yet resistant voice reached his ears and Ben glanced at him with an expression he hoped the young man could read well. He barely could speak, and he didn’t want to waste more energy just for that.

“I know, _God I know,_ ” Staci’s eyes watered as he finished, also handing over the Deputy some medicine. “Take it, they gonna, gonna kill me for that but take it, it’s…it’s... it’s gonna help you.”

Ben took the pill, swallowing it with hardness and only with the use of his saliva which he lacked anyway.

“You need to run, Ben, you need to escape, we gonna… I’m gonna help you, I promise but I-I-I have to go now, I have to go… I need to stay strong, you too gotta, _you gotta.”_ Staci in panic and wobbling on his legs called the Peggie who earlier let him in, now released him from the cage. The young Deputy looked back at his older friend but it was Ben who gave him an expression which was showing courage Staci clearly needed.

Staci left him, and Ben again sensed the loneliness piercing into his guts, twitching his insides and he tried his honest best not to vomit because that would only make him weaker than what he already was.

He was alive, Staci, his coworker, his best friend, the man he met so long ago when Staci was barely a kid. Ben didn’t remember how old his little friend was back then but to think all that happened about _fifteen_ years ago, it made the nostalgia hit him with incredible force. Ben was so fucking sure Staci didn’t survive that the thought, the sheer confirmation he was alive and seeming fairly well fed and hydrated made the Deputy’s will to survive even bigger than barely several minutes ago.

His mind drifted away, suddenly showing him images of someone else, someone...

Sharky. _My God._ He was forcing his mind not to even think of that name not to mention imagine his face. He knew, he fucking knew that losing himself in thoughts about him would leave him in misery, that… the knowledge, that awareness that he might never see him again, that he didn’t even get to say goodbye, that...

Ben started to cry again, and it was the first time in weeks he let it happen. He was so used to the pain, to starvation and constant dehydration that he didn’t even have the energy to cry but now… now his frame started to shake from awful sobs that violated not only his body but also his sanity.

One thing he was sure of though was that Staci treated his wound. Hopefully, it would heal better now, it hurt, hurt like hell but he was aware this was for the better so he stopped to cry.

Days passed. So slowly. So fucking slowly. He was less hungry and dehydrated, used to the new schedule of his where he got to eat and drink once he heard the music and shot the targets. It was like a prayer, happening day after day, and he was aware that if someone took that away from him, he would go crazy in an instant.

And one day it truly happened. They didn’t come at the usual time, and Ben wobbled closer to the entrance of his cage, looking around to find those goddamn Peggies, only to find other prisoners locked just as he was. It was driving him nuts, they were late, and eventually, they didn’t come at all, leaving Ben’s shaking frame pressed against the bars. He was mad, he was _furious_ , he needed that, he needed his portion of water he awaited since two days already, it was too much, it was too fucking much, he needed it, needed it. _I fucking need it._

At some point, he again felt the dehydration violate his body, he could feel the disturbing headache, he could feel his kidney literally refuse to work and peeing hurt him so much he was screaming out loud.

Ben wanted to drink it but couldn’t focus enough to catch the fluid.

_Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. I’m going to die like that, they want me dead and the will get exactly that._

Someone came, at last, when he was barely holding it together, giving him a bowl filled with meat and water. He threw himself towards it to drink it, ignoring the food completely, focusing to hydrate his body first.

“Greed? And my little brother was so sure it was Wrath…” The voice spoke but Ben didn’t react, completely avoiding the fact there was someone crouching close to him.

“The world has gone weak, and we all have forgotten the power of strength.” The bowl was with force taken away from him, and Ben whined, finally looking up at whoever was there.

Those piercing eyes stared right into his, like a wolf ready to jump any second to cut his throat open. He crawled away a bit but the ginger man grabbed his arm, forcefully pulling him closer.

“You must obey,” he stated, and someone else opened the cage. “And you will cull the weak.”

To Ben, it seemed as if he was talking in riddles, yet he allowed them to be forcefully pulled out of the cage, nearly screaming out into the air when he managed to straighten up his body when he was free from the too small prison of his. They’d tied his eyes and he was pushed towards somewhere, hoping they will give him a chance to… _to what exactly?_

He was limping, his leg hurting yet hurting him though it got visibly better when Staci took care of his wound.

They’d unbound his eyes once they stopped and the area was fairly similar to the room he used to visit every single day. He was sure though it wasn’t the same place. They wouldn’t bind his eyes if it was.

One of the Peggies forced him on a chair, tying him there, and Ben was already sure that he would hear the music soon, then he would just do his job by shooting targets and get to drink.

_Please, God._

“The world has gone weak, yes,” the ginger man stated, and by now Ben was sure it was no other but Jacob Seed. “But we can’t forget what we were made for.”

Jacob put on a projector, as it seemed, showing Ben and… _fuck,_ two other people, pictures of dead bodies, carcasses, along with a couple of photos of wolves, dripping blood. The Deputy stared, unsure of what it all meant, yet he _obeyed,_ knowing that any protest might end up with days of starvation and lack of water.

“In order to bring it back, to bring back the strength in our species, in the huge body humanity is, we must cull the herd from the weak ones,” he continued. “and everyone who is weak is a parasite in our body.”

To Ben, it still sounded like riddles but he slowly started to have an idea of what he meant, why he starved them, why he forced them all to shoot at the given signal...

Jacob approached him, pulling out a little thing, a music box, as it appeared, and it started to play the music that was like honey to Ben’s ears.

The Deputy passed out, didn’t even know when and how but once he’d awakened, he heard Jacob’s voice as if deep inside his mind, drilling his brain with words. He spoke, and even though the music was loud, Ben heard and understood him.

“Cull the herd.” It was an order, and Ben rose from the chair, grabbing the nearest weapon, a gun before the two others managed to even open their eyes. It was a fight, to get food, to get water his body demanded, to get back to the schedule his body was used to.

Ben shot, he didn’t think, he just shot. Two limp bodies fell to the ground, and he, just as Jacob ordered, went on to cull _more._

Another one, he shot a young, scared and confused woman without even blinking, before she even noticed he was around the corner, aiming at her frame.

He shot, and his face didn’t even twitch.

The corridors went on, and the whole area was ominous, dark, yet with little bits of light easing his way forward. Ben kept pulling the trigger, he didn’t even think of that — all was done by instincts as if this was a typical human thing like it was to breathe.

At some point, they shot back, so Ben covered himself, rage nearly driving him insane. He picked up another weapon, an assault rifle — something he never used before — and he went on full rampage, shooting whoever was ahead. All that was left behind once he was done with them, were bodies with countless holes, the whole area red from blood.

The way continued, and he ran, he shot, he covered, he shot, he ran. It continued, and Ben couldn’t stop, the song played and Jacob’s voice kept telling him he was doing great, so he kept, _fucking,_ shooting.

Blood was sticking to his shirt at some point, his face dripping from the unpleasant crimson fluid. All that happened after he’d picked up a shotgun which made bodies literally explode close to him but he didn’t flinch, just kept going, like a clock.

The last room, as he thought, was ahead. Inside was only one person standing by the wall, facing it. Ben’s weapon literally evaporated into thin air, so he jumped the last couple of steps to strangle the person, turning them around and pinching to the wall. The sound as they both crashed against the solid surface was limp, and he used enough force to break their skull though it didn’t stop the Deputy from choking them.

A girl, with gray eyes enhanced by the countless freckles on her cheeks, stared in fear at him as her long, charcoal curls blurred Ben’s vision.

* * *

 

“God, the smell,” a voice, _no,_ many voices... or it just seemed like thousands of people spoke at once. “Why is it always _me_ who has to work with corpses.”

Ben didn’t move, only desperately breathed in air though he didn’t feel the odor the other voices talked about. In an act of trying to be more aware of his surrounding he also realized everything hurt him so dearly he couldn’t even open his eyelids. Suddenly they touched him, picking him up a bit, and this was when his eyes managed to unglue.

They yelled in an instant, backing away from the body that was supposed to be deceased.

“This someone…Eli, he’s alive,” the voice which was already known to Ben spoke in an unbelievable tone, and Ben closed his eyes again, breathing several times to open them in again to have a clearer view. His whole body was sore, and he truly felt as if he was dead.

“That’s not just a _someone_ , it’s the Deputy, _the_ Deputy,” someone else spoke, putting pressure on that word, “the one bringing havoc among the cult’s forces.” That was a completely different voice, much more mature than the first one, and Ben upon finally being able to perceive more than some blurred countless figures, noticed two frames staring down at him.

“Oh, you’ve gotta be _kiddin’_ me.”

“How the hell did you survive is beyond me” the mature voice which belonged to the bearded man — Eli, from what Ben realized — stated, and tried to help the Deputy up, though the radiating pain coming from his head and leg reminded about itself, and Ben whined, though only a harsh sound left his mouth. “Easy, we need to get you to safety. It’s gonna be fine.”

The process of carrying Ben and trying to get him to a safer spot away from the smelly bodies — a thing that had been done with the help of much more people — happened to be a blurry mess of images to the Deputy. He couldn’t tell when and how the fuck did he happen to suddenly rest in a comfortable bed, with his dried out lips being gently watered with a wet cloth from time to time.

He couldn’t do much besides breathe and vegetate, though they didn’t require him to do much more anyway. First, they came and treated his wound, also checking other parts of his body. They let Ben know that they had no specialized doctors around but they’d promised that they would do their best, and they did it, making Ben yell from pain all over again. Eventually, they fed him and gave him water, all slowly, for Ben to regain health, yet he could feel his body protest each time the time wasn’t _right_ and there was no music to announce he could shoot and eat.

Barely able to sleep, his nights weren’t the calmest even whenever he could. He was being woken up by whoever was close and could hear his screams and panic attacks, then Ben was crying, mumbling some nonsense and falling back asleep.

They informed Earl, from what Ben had heard, letting the old man know he was alive and with them, the Whitetail Militia, slowly regaining health. The young boy, Wheaty, often came to the Deputy to talk to him, and one day he’d revealed the news that Earl already knew he was fine, and most of all, alive. He also let the Deputy know that Earl babbled something back, nearly _cried_ through the radio, about being the happiest and most relieved about the fact his _son_ was alive.

Sharky. _Charlemagne._ Ben wasn’t afraid to think of that name anymore. He felt relieved that maybe, _maybe_ he could see his face again, take his hand into his hand, just squeeze it to show the pyromaniac he was alive, that he was alright, and he wished for Sharky to do the same, to just… be here by his side.

Ben missed him, _my God,_ he missed him so much it was beyond his imagination he could miss someone this much. He started to shake just at the thought he was somewhere out there, unable to assume Ben was already safe, unable to tell that he was already _awaiting_ the arsonist.

The worst was the countering thought that maybe Sharky didn’t care about him anymore, that his disappearance didn’t make the arsonist worry about it at all, that even their friendship didn’t matter anymore. All those thoughts made his heart ache from unbelievable pain.

He couldn’t speak, he didn’t even dare. He wasn’t really sure if they weren’t just lying to him, but the fact they reassured him about Earl made the Deputy believe that there were huge chances they all were on his side, yet he couldn’t smile. Not without Sharky.

One day something happened, some noises could be heard and a woman was clearly arguing with Eli, refusing to let someone in. Wheaty’s voice calmed them down though, he assured the them that he heard the Deputy often talk in his sleep, and that they shouldn’t be worried about the pyromaniac who was known as _Sharky Boshaw._

Ben tried to get up, shakingly lifting himself up on his elbows, and moving his leg to the side, though carefully not to make his hurt leg fall to the ground. That name made him realize that Sharky must have found out he was alive, and he knew the arsonist would try to get in here with fire and force. He smiled at that thought.

_God, I missed him. I missed him so much._

He eventually sat up, though that movement made his leg hurt him so dearly he hissed. Only now the scar finally had the best environment to properly heal and not bother the Deputy each minute with radiating pain and fever, yet it kept hurting when he moved and tried to put pressure on it. His head swayed... or the world did, he couldn’t tell, the dizziness was unreal and he slipped out of the bed, whining loudly from the pain that suddenly shot through his whole body.

The pyromaniac approached him in the next second, kneeling beside and cupping his face. Pleasant warmth right away spread onto the cowboy’s cheeks, and he leaned into that touch, _God,_ he fucking moaned from relief and pleasure just at the fact this touch felt and _was_ real.

“Ben, _Ben,_ are ya—fuck, are ya okay?!” He yelled at his face, and Ben sensed a sudden urge to just kiss his lips for the awful weeks he spent away from his friend to be left forgotten. Moving closer, his head literally bumped against Sharky’s shoulder, and the pyromaniac sobbed, clutching to his frame and babbling random words. “Fuck, I thought that ya… that ya were lost, gone, fuckin’... _fuckin’ dead,_ Ben, I was so…Ben—shit, ya look, ya look… _Ben...”_

He was stuttering, and Ben never felt more home than he did right now.

Both didn’t give a flying fuck that others were around, watching their reunion with no words spoken. They just listened to them, to Sharky, to be more exact, and suddenly Ben started to shake, clutching to him and nearly bruising Sharky’s arm.

“Ben, holy shit, someone fuckin’ _help him!”_ He sounded desperate, trying to pick up the huge cowboy, and someone indeed approached them to assist the pyromaniac in laying Ben back on the bed. They covered him tightly, and Sharky sat on the furniture to take the freckled hand into his. He whined, looking at the skinny palm of his, giving Ben’s whole frame a glance and realizing how _horrible_ the weeks must have been to the Deputy. He sobbed more, tears literally streaming down his face, glistering on his cheeks.

“Sharky…” His voice was faint, as faint as when he called him last time when the Chosen successfully captured him. The others left them, Wheaty literally pushing them out of the room but Ben wasn't paying attention to them at all. His mind was focused on Sharky, on the man he was sure he would never see in his life again, yet here they were, sitting close, _alive._

Reaching up, Ben gently touched Sharky’s cheek, wiping one of the tears away. He was tired, he wished to sleep but the fact his friend was here, God, he couldn’t be happier. For the first time in weeks, the Deputy genuinely _smiled._

Sharky released a high-pitched sound, leaning down to clutch to the Deputy again.

“Ya look so… _so skinny,”_ mumbling, Sharky through the fabrics of the shirt gently touched the visible outline of Ben’s ribs, tracing the bones with his hands shaking. “What have they done to ya…”

Ben closed his eyes, unable to form a proper sentence but with all honesty, he asked himself the same impossible to answer question. He opened his mouth, though the pyromaniac shushed him before he had even managed to breathe in, sitting up and shifting closer to brush away the nasty curls out of his pale face. He was so glad that Sharky did it as if Sharky literally read his mind that it bothered him and nobody was helping him out with such a trivial situation.

“I missed you,” the Deputy’s voice sounded sore, and Sharky looked around, clearly searching for something. Grabbing a glass filled with water, he gently lifted the cowboy’s head up, letting the boy slowly drink it all. His hand massaged Ben’s skull in the meantime, and Ben whined from pleasure both at the feeling of liquid in his mouth and at the fact his friend was _so close,_ touching him.

“Don’t ya talk, Ben, just… ya can rest now, I’m… I’m with ya, I promise,” Sharky said, putting the cup down and adjusting the pillow underneath Ben’s head. He didn’t leave his side though, making himself comfortable right beside the Deputy on his bed. He sat on the furniture and with that the cowboy moved closer, pressing himself against the pyromaniac’s warm frame. Sharky kept babbling random sentences even when Ben already closed his eyes while Sharky played with his curls, twirling them around his fingers.

Ben drifted into sleep in no time, feeling the other man’s closeness on each part of his abused body which made him for the first time in months have pleasant dreams.


	12. Arsonist's Lullabye

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben needs to recover after weeks of starvation and dehydration, and Sharky's main mission became making sure he does.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DISCLAIMER - my beta reader is currently "out of order" so forgive all the mistakes or issues in this chapter, and if you find anything that looks so awful you need to let me know - do it! I will greatly appreciate any feedback! <3

Sharky had been feeling pleasant warmth spread through the whole relaxed body of his, though it wasn’t something he could call familiar nor usual. He was known to be a human heater, though it didn’t stop his body from feeling cold sometimes, especially when it was freezing outside, he wasn’t a freaking walking oven after all. Still, he was told before he had this warm aura all around him, and his pyromania and the constant smell of smoke on his clothes only added to that positive ─ as he called it ─ impression of his.

This time it wasn’t just _his_ body, that was something else, it _must have_ been something else.

He was sleeping, he’d realized that once he was more conscious than those couple of seconds ago. His eyes were not open yet, though he could already tell what awkward situation he’d found himself in. _Holy shit._

A frame was pressed against him, breathing slowly and in a steady, calm pace. It was Ben, he was pretty fucking sure it was him, yet peacefully sleeping. By anything, Sharky didn’t wish to disturb him nor didn’t wish to wake him up at all, even though mentally he was already pretty much freaking out.

By the time he’d opened his eyes, he could finally see how fucking close they were, and they were much closer than he feared.

Ben was literally cuddled to him, his head resting on Sharky’s chest which was moving up and down with how Sharky breathed. That movement harshened and fastened, nervousness slowly creeping on his already completely flushed form redness cheeks. One of Ben’s hands was put beside, right on top of his belly, and the pyromaniac shivered at the thought it could have sneaked underneath his hoodie during the time both were asleep and absolutely unaware of their surroundings, a thing his mind anticipated but from the other side despised. Unable to locate Ben’s other hand, he imagined it was hidden somewhere underneath the blanket and since they were covered, he couldn’t exactly see what was happening down there.

The pressure close to his dick was enough for him to be aware that Ben’s leg was embracing him, literally choking his morning wood.

_Fuck me._

The warmth on his cheeks became unreal so he bit his lips and breathed in harshly as it kept hitting his brain that he was sleeping with Ben as if this something ultimately natural. _With Ben, holy shit._ It wasn’t something they had done before, they indeed slept in the same car a couple of times, even in the same room but never before had it happened that they were sleeping in one bed, literally hugging.

He didn’t dare to move though, he didn’t want to disturb Ben’s sleep because everyone would agree that he needed that more than anything in the world now. Besides, Ben’s curls smelled so wonderful and they seemed to be so fucking soft he’d realized that the Deputy must have washed them with the help of someone before Sharky arrived, and the urge to just bury himself in them became unreal. Closing his eyes again, he let the smell fill up his nostrils, pure freshness and something he could already recognize as Ben’s personal smell, something he honestly wanted to remember.

His dick twitched in agony when Ben suddenly moved, whining in his dreams and clutching to the warm body underneath him. Sharky moaned, biting his tongue firmly right after because that, sincerely, was the last thing he wanted to do now, to fucking _moan_ from pleasure and for Ben to wake up and to hear it by accident. He froze, focusing on the Deputy, listening to his breath and truly hoping the other man was still hard asleep.

Ben whined again, loudly, and his whole frame tensed. He clutched to Sharky’s hoodie, moving his head to completely hide his face in this soft, worn fabric.

“Ben?” Not thinking about it too much, he decided to ask, whispering in his low, morning voice. He’d found courage, hardly, but enough to move up his hand which was resting on Ben’s back, _holy fuckin’ shit,_ to put it in Ben’s messy hair. He breathed, with shivers shaking his body from head to toes, but it was a pleasant sensation, so he didn’t truly mind it and let the feeling flow through his whole body. Those curls were the softest thing he’d ever fucking touched, truly the curliest curls he’d also ever sensed in such a direct way. Gently, he grabbed the hair, letting the hair strands fill in the space between his fingers.

The Deputy moved again, hissing and letting of the pyromaniac go, and the pressure on Sharky's dick disappeared as the leg of his slowly maneuvered around. He was still close, though now lazily lying on his back, and Sharky had to adjust himself not to make it too awkward. Ben’s lips were parted but Sharky couldn’t catch his eyes through the mess of curls all over his face and by that by all honesty couldn’t tell if he was yet asleep or not.

Sharky breathed and looked up, feeling lost. He didn’t know what the fuck to do, how to act, how to even behave with a man close, with _Ben_ lying right beside. Something was wrong, and Sharky could swear that barely yesterday he’d noticed a glimpse of bandages on Ben’s leg, something he’d clearly forgotten about. 

_Fuck. The arrow. They shot him with a fuckin’ arrow._

“Ya… your leg?” He asked silently, shifting and turning onto his side to adjust the covers that slipped away from Ben’s frame when he turned. They touched, Sharky pressing against the huge man, and the pyromaniac shakingly lifted his own hand up, hesitating at first but eventually trying to get some curls out of his sight to get a better view on Ben’s face.

Now he could clearly see those teary gray eyes, staring up into nothing, though after that motion Ben tilted his head to lock his eyes with Sharky’s. Ben seemed to look like hell, and that was honestly the only thing that could go through Sharky’s mind when he could finally properly analyze the other man’s whole appearance. It was insane how those weeks changed the Deputy, insane how much skinnier he’d gotten and how sick his whole frame appeared to be. All of that made Sharky once again feel his eyes water from what he already knew was an unbelievable worry.

Ben nodded, a tear leaving his eye and falling down his cheek, and with this, he opened up his arms to cuddle into Sharky once more. Their cheeks pressed together, and the pyromaniac breathed out, embracing Ben and leaning with his whole body against him. He wanted to show him that it was all alright now, that he was fucking safe and that he had no reason to be afraid anymore.

Besides, Sharky demanded that closeness, he demanded it more than anything now. He didn’t even require for it to be exactly Ben, he was simply so touch starving at times he would be fine with anyone close to him but since it was him, the man whom he already had honest feelings for, it all felt so much better and so much more _home._

Ben eventually let go of him, so the pyromaniac moved to lay on his back as before when they yet slept. The Deputy stayed close, his nose gently resting on Sharky’s cheek which Sharky didn’t dare to move at all.

Not long after he’d realized that Ben fell asleep again, and Sharky gently moved away to give him space and to be able to tilt his head to stare at his friend. He barely could believe he nearly lost Ben in such a horrible way, and all of that was his and his fault only. The fact that Sharky couldn’t protect him from that made Sharky wish he was the one they captured, he even _should_ be the one to be taken away, not Ben. He should be suffering, starving and begging for water, not his cowboy friend, and most of all, Sharky should be the one to die in order to protect the man he fucking would proudly die for, a thing he failed to do.

When Sharky had woken up in the forest after they’d captured Ben, feeling the soft brize on his cheeks with leaves from the bushes around that had blurred his vision and which had made him completely forget what the fuck had happened. He’d heard Hurk’s voice from afar, yelling his and the Deputy’s name in a desperate, nearly helpless way. Opening his eyes and upon realizing _what exactly_ he had been doing there, lying in the grass, he’d shot back up on his wobbly legs in an instant.

They’d taken him away, he’d watched Ben be taken away from him and he couldn’t do shit because he was dumb enough to be knocked off.

He’d found Hurk eventually, also in the meantime he’d found his shotgun and cap (together with his amazing glasses) which had fallen from the impact when one of those fucking Peggies humiliated him.

They, Hurk and Sharky, had bumped into each other, by accident, though he couldn’t be happier about the fact he’d found his cousin in this godforsaken forest. He wouldn’t be able to stand the loneliness if they’d taken both Hurk and Ben, he wouldn’t be able to deal at all and he would burn himself and the whole world if this by anything happened.

Sharky had explained to Hurk what happened, the poor boy unable to tell what the fuck had occurred when he’d waited in the car for them, and upon explaining, the older cousin’s mood changed completely. Both had been both completely devastated by the fact the Chosen had captured Ben, and Sharky, to add to this, was also completely fucking mad. He had been raging so bad he eventually had to smoke a cigarette to calm a bit down but when this didn’t help, he’d burned a couple of dry branches, the flames going out of control, just like his madness, burning half of the forest in the result when the cousins were already on their way, far from that place.

He had been furious, mostly because he’d been so fucking dumb and because of that Ben had to suffer. It had been his fault, his fault only that he’d let Ben alone in the forest, that he hadn’t been paying attention to where the Deputy had stepped and that he had been so fucking _stupid_ that he’d roamed at those enemies which had captured Ben, trying to save the Deputy as if he had been a knight on a fucking white horse, getting knocked off in result.

Those thoughts had given the pyromaniac an idea to move back to the jail, so both of them did exactly just as Ben originally had planned. They’d first informed Dutch about the group of people marching towards the prison, who further called Earl in order to help them out and escort them safely. Later they’d also revealed what had happened to the Deputy which clearly didn’t please the Sheriff, the old man worrying as much as the boys.

Sharky couldn’t even reveal the fact how he’d failed about that, he didn’t dare to speak how he’d been there and how he could save Ben if only he wasn’t so fucking dumb. It had been driving the pyromaniac nuts, and the fact that he couldn’t do shit besides search for clues where they could have taken Ben away didn’t make it any fucking better.

He’d lost himself in that, searching, asking, _begging._ People mostly had refused and killed his hopes, telling him that Ben was lost and there was nothing he could do to release him from Jacob’s hold, yet he didn’t, not even once, accept such an answer.

From all of things, the last thing he wanted to accept was that Ben had died on his watch.

Days passed, _weeks passed,_ and there were no pieces of information whatsoever about the current position of the Deputy they’d lost to Jacob and his Chosen. Some clues had led the pyromaniac to the Veteran’s Centre yet there was nearly no possible way to approach it without getting detected. Sharky didn’t want that, he didn’t want to be captured because that would end up in a helpless situation for both Sharky and Ben. He also didn’t want for Ben’s situation to worsen just because he’d tried to play a hero and save him.

All that time he’d been alone, Hurk deciding to take the car and all the Deputy’s belongings back to his house, promising it would be safe there. Sharky had agreed on that, knowing there at least those things won’t end up lost or stolen, and by that time he’d been on his own, leaving Hurk behind.

Someone once had told the pyromaniac that it would have been even for the better if the Deputy had been dead by now because they had been aware of what Jacob was capable of.

That was out of fucking question, and Sharky in even bigger rage burned several Peggies he’d found on his way, alongside with a couple of random buildings. He’d watched it from afar, crying like a baby for the first time after Ben had disappeared. It had been mostly out of frustration, a horrible feeling that was driving him furious that he couldn’t do shit. He hadn’t been even sure if Ben truly was in that weird looking palace or whatever the fuck this building was, yet the fact that it had been so fucking long and there still had been no information about anything whatsoever, he’d been slowly losing hope.

He’d been drunk and completely stoned way too many times, losing himself in a world made of lies that Ben had been only a dream, something he’d only made up and something he’d wanted so bad and couldn’t get because Ben was simply unreal.

This had left Sharky with something that easily could be called depression, and the fact that he’d felt like that only made the pyromaniac further realize that all the feelings he’d had for the Deputy were fucking real. He’d loved him, that was clear by now, clear when he was completely under the influence of both alcohol and drugs, and he knew that he would fucking die for that man and would be by all means happy with that result. Though before death, he wanted to see him one more time, just… touch him, be close to him, make sure he was alright.

Out of desperation, he’d went to see the Sheriff. It wasn’t something he’d wanted to do but he’d thought about how Earl cared about the Deputy so he’d hoped, truly hoped, the Sheriff would do something to help him out, even if this means giving him only hope.

When he’d arrived, Whitehorse wasn’t around, so eventually, he’d asked someone about where he could find him because this was urgent and he didn’t want to stay inside the jail for too long. Someone had shown him the way, and Sharky had reached an area which as a prisoner he’d never seen before. He’d been nervous but he wanted to talk with the Sheriff even though it used to be a thing absolutely out of question.

Earl had been sitting in a corner of a room, though he stood up upon noticing who’d entered. The Sheriff had seemed nearly happy to see the pyromaniac, and he’d announced right away what had happened.

They had found Ben.

Sharky had felt as if he was slapped by the Sheriff back to reality, and that message, that simple sentence that they’d found Ben, that Ben was alive, it was enough for Sharky to sense soberness he’d never felt before. He’d needed no more. 

They had given him a car and instructed where the Wolf’s Den was located but what the Sheriff didn’t consider was that he should have had let Eli know about the fact that there was a raging pyromaniac about to storm into the bunker without questions asked.

Earl also didn’t accompany him, saying that he had to stay in the jail to protect all those people that simply needed him.

Sharky had felt many emotions during his way back to Whitetails Mountains, feeling most of all unbelievable happiness that they’d found the Deputy and that, what was the most important part of it, _he was alive._ It was all that had mattered now, Ben was _safe,_ and he couldn’t stop to uncontrollably smile. Worry was also a thing he couldn’t control, those horrific thoughts and images of how Ben must have suffered while away for _weeks,_ he didn’t even want to imagine in what a bad state could have Ben be. _Fuck._

The Militia, much to Sharky’s disappointment, hadn’t welcomed Sharky well, they even aimed at him up until a young boy had announced that Sharky was Ben’s friend and they should let him through. They'd indeed let him in, though hardly because the pyromaniac pushed away whoever had stood in his way, searching around the rooms to find the one in which the Deputy had been settled.

When he’d entered the room, Ben was on the ground, whining and obviously being in pain because of the fact he shouldn’t be on the ground. Seeing that scene made the pyromaniac’s legs weaken to the point he’d thought he would fall to the ground and simply pass out. He didn’t faint though, wobbling towards the Deputy and kneeling to take his frame close.

That sight was horrific. Ben was so fucking skinny, so fucking sick, wounded, it was nearly unbelievable to the pyromaniac that Ben was still alive. He’d a hard time comprehending the fact how much strength did the Deputy need to survive what he’d survived.

Now they were lying in bed, Sharky watching Ben sleep, and he couldn’t be happier. They’d found each other, and he knew they would keep bumping into each other even when things would end up wrong and they would end up parting again. Nothing in the huge goddamn world could keep them apart, and no way in hell something or someone would take Ben away from him again. He’d promised himself that.

“I promise ya, Ben, they won’t hurt ya again,” he whispered, gently tracing with his knuckles the soft freckled skin, tears forming in his eyes at the simple thought of Ben suffering, locked away somewhere far from him.

Sharky bit his lips, considering his options. Ben was gorgeous, even though he was much skinnier and his face seemed to be thinner, even giving an impression that Ben got much older in barely a couple of weeks. Still, he was the prettiest man Sharky had ever seen, those freckles leaving the pyromaniac flustered by just existing.

He leaned closer, planting a soft kiss on Ben’s wrinkled forehead. Slowly, he backed away, again making himself comfortable to have a clear view of the Deputy peacefully sleeping.

Ben slept for long, and at some point, it worried the pyromaniac enough for him to wake the yet asleep man up. He called his name, shaking him a bit until Ben moved, releasing a long, protesting whine that he didn’t want to wake up just yet. He smirked, finding it unbelievably cute how the Deputy just seemed like a little kid that didn’t want to stand up from its bed. At the same time, he honestly didn’t want to disturb his slumber but his skinny face reminded the pyromaniac how Ben simply _had_ to consume something soon.

“Ya slept for over 15 hours, Ben, ya _need_ to eat somethin’,” he gently spoke, letting the Deputy move and cuddle to him again. It seemed so normal, so natural to the pyromaniac though his face still got completely flushed with a warm blush. “I will, uhh… Imma go and get ya somethin’.”

 _“Don’t_ _leave me,”_ was all the mess of curls that was hidden in his chest spoke. It sounded desperate, and Sharky after that didn’t have the heart to leave their comfortable bed.

Their bodies were literally twisted together at this point, and Sharky couldn’t stop to nervously blush. He didn’t know what to do with his fucking hands and his brain couldn’t form a proper sentence.

“Lemme at least uh… lemme at least give ya water,” Sharky thought about the most important matter which was hydrating the Deputy, so he suggested it, waiting for Ben’s response.

“Mmm…” It wasn’t what Sharky expected yet enough for the arsonist to figure out that Ben didn’t want anything, only sleep.

“Ya sure?” He smiled, responsibility hitting his guts, so he suddenly felt like a grown-up talking to a little stubborn kid. ”Ya need anythin’ else?”

Ben shuffled, bringing his arms around the pyromaniac and giving the embrace a little force, leaving Sharky breathless with how tightly they hugged. Ben whimpered again, adjusting himself and, hopefully, making sure his leg didn’t hurt, and eventually, he breathed and murmured. _“Mmmmyou…”_

That simple word, it made Sharky nearly moan from how surprising it was and from something that let about itself know low in his belly. His whole body suddenly felt warmer and he could swear his dick twitched a little even though Ben’s thigh wasn’t even close to his member.

He didn’t know what to respond to this simple yet meaningful word, he felt like suddenly his whole life made sense and that nothing else didn’t matter, just him and Ben, and that was incredibly abstract to him. Sharky would never get used to that feeling, to the fact that he was feeling simply alright with the idea that he and Ben could end up being as _one._

Someone knocked and entered the room, and Sharky figured it was the boy that earlier had calmed everyone down about Sharky being a good guy and Ben’s friend. He’d let him in, and because of the fact this boy had helped him, he respected him and considered a friend. Though the fact he was actually cuddling with Ben now didn’t help his cheeks that were literally burning from a blush, and he felt like a teenager that was caught on something he shouldn’t do.

“Brought you food, we uh, we thought that both of you must be hungry,” the boy with the two braids spoke, approaching the bed and gently putting the plates with food on the bed table. He poured water into a glass, handing it over to the pyromaniac. “Give it to him, well, _force_ it up into his throat, yeah I know he’s sleeping and… don’t give me that look but–oh...

Ben whimpered in the middle of his sentence, clutching to Sharky’s hoodie once again, and with this, the young boy must have realized the Deputy was awake.

“Come on Ben, drink a little,” Sharky moved, sitting up in a lazy matter not to disturb the other man and not to spill any drop from the glass he’d taken from the boy. He put his hand underneath Ben’s head, lifting the Deputy a bit up and he complied, letting the pyromaniac do literally whatever. He drank slowly all of the fluid, looking up at Sharky which flustered him dearly.

“Impossible... “ The young boy with braids let out a soft, surprising sigh, and Sharky gave him a confused glance. “He wouldn’t drink or eat without any drama, like… he refused, he didn’t want it… he, he _fought back…”_

The arsonist’s baffled expression further grow as the cowboy man kept looking at him, and Sharky lowered Ben’s head to gently lay him on the pillow when the glass was empty. He asked if Ben didn’t want to eat now, and Ben nodded, tilting his head to look at the plate filled with food.

“Help me get him a little up,” Sharky ordered. The young boy immediately approached them, and together they lifted the Deputy up enough for him to sit in a more comfortable position to consume food. “Thanks, dude, now, uhh…”

“Yeah, sure, I’ll leave ya two,” the young boy read his mind, “see you later, and enjoy your food, Ben!” He smiled, excitement clearly showing on his face as he left the room, and in the meantime Sharky grabbed the plate, sitting comfortably on the bed to feed the Deputy.

Bit by bit, the cowboy was eating and swallowing the pieces Sharky was giving him straight to his mouth. Both were completely silent, focusing on it, not talking, and with no questions asked. Still, Sharky was fucking curious as fuck to know what did the cultist do to the Deputy that he even refused to eat when food was being given to him just like that but with all honesty, he was glad that Ben seemed healthy enough to eat his portion now.

When he was done and the whole plate was emptied, the Deputy smiled at the pyromaniac, thanking him silently. Sharky put it aside, not even bothering to eat his own food yet. He even asked if Ben doesn’t want more because he gladly would give him more but Ben shook his head, and Sharky didn’t even think about forcing him to eat more, this was out of question.

Ben moved, adjusting himself on his own now, surely finding the strength now to do so himself. Sharky still came to aid, helping the other man get his wounded leg in place which alone surely was hard to do, as the pyromaniac noticed seeing the unpleasant expression on the freckled face. Ben hissed but clearly wanted to show that he was alright and that it didn’t hurt him anymore but Sharky knew better.. He adjusted the pillows underneath Ben’s head once more, babbling under his breath.

“Ya can sleep some more now, dude.” Ben in panic glanced up at him. “Imma be here tho, don'tcha worry, a Boshaw ain’t leavin’ ya side when he says that he stays.” He smiled with the corner of his lips, trying to show the Deputy he truly meant it.

“I don’t want to sleep.” his voice was weak yet resistant, and Sharky chuckled sensing in the Deputy the freaking stubbornness the other man fairly often showed when Ben, instead of being lazy when he should, wanted to be useful. “We need to get going soon, I-I am feeling much better, I─”

“Shit dude,” Sharky stood up, adjusting the bedsheet and cover which got ruined in the meantime when Ben was shuffling around. “And they call _me_ crazy.”

He eventually again climbed on the bed, seeing the hurt and desperate expression staring back at him, Ben’s lips curled up in an obvious attempt to protest.

“No way, Ben, ya ain’t goin’ anywhere in the next couple of weeks, over my dead fuckin’ body.” He said before Ben got any chances to even open his mouth. “Ya gotta recover man, ya will get yourself fuckin’ killed if ya keep goin’ on like that.”

Sharky tried his best to sound serious, he even raised his voice a little for the cowboy to know that he simply couldn’t move on so soon, not when Ben barely could even properly sit. The Deputy sighed, mumbling something under his breath that made the pyromaniac chuckle and pinch the Deputy.

“Don’t ya dare to kill me to get outta this place, dude, _I swear,_ if ya do it, Imma haunt ya forever, dude.” Ben giggled now, and to Sharky, it sounded like honest heaven. They didn’t see each other in so long and besides the ongoing worry, the pyromaniac truly missed him.

“I wouldn’t be mad if you did,” Ben whispered and shifted on the bed, turning onto his side though hissing and retreating to his previous position. “You… you make me forget all that had happened.”

It was spoken much quieter than the first sentence though Sharky with no problems caught it, trying to find a comfortable though not obvious position on the way too small bed for them two. He was sitting upright, though his hands and straightened legs were crossed. This made him consider his options but he didn’t dare to give the Deputy a look after such a fucking confession. _Holy shit._

“I mean… don’t, well, don’t get me wrong. I’m just joking, of course, _I mean,_ about the _killing you_ thing,” Ben stuttered, trying to find words in his yet pretty sore throat. “You’re my friend, you know that, it’s… I-I... ”

“Y-yeah I know,” Sharky cleared his throat and again nervously shifted to find a better position with no fucking result. “Ya ain’t a Peggie to want me dead, _I hope.”_

He wanted to slap himself for the stupidity he kept throwing, and this conversation just couldn’t be lead worse with how Ben just friend-zoned him, _fuck it all._

“Of course,” Ben murmured, shifting closer to find Sharky’s arm. He cuddled to it, though careful not to move his wounded leg too much, as the pyromaniac noticed. “I promised you something, I can’t kill you yet.”

Now this made Sharky unbelievably curious but at the same time, he tensed feeling the other again so fucking close to himself. He let him lie nearby, he truly didn’t mind the touches, god, he actually desired them more and more but he couldn’t help himself but melt and get nervous every time Ben touched him.

“ _Yet,_ heh… but uh… what, uhh... what do ya mean, huh?” He asked, trying to sound confident but _of course,_ he failed. Taking a harsh breath, Sharky gulped and leaned his head to take a look at the Deputy who was curled up beside, staring up with those huge gray eyes at him. 

They gained obvious colors they lacked when Sharky found the Deputy barely a day ago, and it must have been the fact he consumed food and hydrated himself properly, also… Sharky really wanted to believe it was his own presence by his side as well that made Ben just simply feel noticeably better.

“I promised to talk about my… _my weapon,_ oh no…” Ben out of sudden lost the excitement with each word being spoken, his voice evidently fading into silence. Sharky quickly understood what he meant, the weapon, their car, Ben’s whole backpack… he must have been sure he’d lost it all.

“It’s safe, dude. Don’t ya worry,” he smiled down at him, “all of ya things are uhh, with Hurk now, and… no, no don’t look at me like that man, trust me, I would fuck him up myself if he lost ‘em.” 

Ben quickly lost his serious facade and chuckled once more, pressing and hiding his face in Sharky’s hoodie, and he himself couldn’t help but smile at this. Carefully, he moved his arm, trying to embrace the other man who literally must have read his mind because Ben cuddled into him more, shifting even closer and murmuring something under his breath. Sharky released the breath he didn’t know he was holding once they settled, and god, he would never get fine with their closeness, fucking never.

“I really need to get going, Sharky,” the mess of curls spoke after a couple of long seconds, “people need me, I need to rescue them out of them, my God, _Staci…”_

 _Ouch._ That name sounded like a desperate call and Sharky with all honesty didn’t want to feel that sting of pain deep in his heart, yet he fucking couldn’t help it. He was fucking jealous just of a name and he couldn’t tell _at all_ if Staci was someone from his family or someone much closer. Nevertheless, it awoke many new emotions and something told him to make Ben stay away from that bullshit for as long as possible. Well, he could also ask about this person, just… act as curious, though truth was he _knew_ Staci and by the memory of him he had, he could tell that Staci was pretty pussy loving.

_And so were ya, Boshaw._

“Staci is like my brother, he… I have to get him out, Sharky, _I have to.”_ Ben was clutching to him, nearly bruising him, and Sharky suddenly felt like a pathetic little child. Turned out his fears about Ben having someone closer was ridiculous, mostly because Ben wouldn’t just like that have someone else on his eye and in the meantime try to show the pyromaniac he was interested. Simple as that, Sharky was stupid, and he blushed, nervously clearing his throat to speak up.

“Ben, ya─” 

“Don’t… just, don’t tell me I shouldn’t, _fucking don’t,”_ he interrupted before the pyromaniac even rigged a proper sentence, and Sharky breathed out, the words that stayed in his throat nearly choking him. “I will do it, you hear me? Even if this means _dying_ out there I will get Staci and other people out of that… that horrendous place.”

“Oh no, fuckin’ sake, Ben, ya don’t fuckin’ dare to say so, don’t ya fuckin’ dare,” Sharky chided in, pulling Ben closer even though this wasn’t intended at all, trying to fucking force reason back into that freckled brain. “Are ya fuckin’ hearin’ me, dude? Shit, like, ya ain’t dyin’, not on my fuckin’─”

Sharky out of sudden hissed, interrupting himself and forgetting whatever he was about to say. The way how Ben moved made one of the freckled hands dangerously wandered and since for some reason the fabric of his hoodie revealed a bit of his skin, and even though Ben probably didn’t mean it, his knuckles or fingertips, the pyromaniac couldn’t tell, brushed against the warm skin of his.

_Shit, holy fuckin’ shit man._

“Sharky, please, just... don’t stop me. Don’t stop me from trying to do what I _have_ to do.” 

Something broke. Something deep inside of Sharky shattered into thousands of pieces and he snapped. He’d watched Ben be taken away, earlier he’d seen how tired and devastated the Deputy was after hours of no proper rest, he’d seen how the cult literally ruined this man, right now the cowboy was yet dealing with his health after days of dehydration and starvation, and still this fucking man wanted more.

Releasing himself from the other man’s hold, he quickly got up and mumbled curses under his breath when he couldn’t get his leg off the covers, nearly falling down.

“Then fuckin’ go and die for those fuckers that won’t even fuckin’ know ya died for ‘em!”

He yelled and left, the door making enough sound for the ground to shake, and once he left the room in which they slept, he had several eyes on himself, together with the young boy with braids into whom he nearly bumped into, clearly eavesdropping them. He didn’t give a shit though but suddenly felt ashamed that he reacted so harshly, _fucking again,_ towards Ben, and that this time there were people around that simply heard him do so.

Continuing to move as he felt another blush creep on his cheeks, he left the bunker. He was in need to find release, Sharky didn’t nearly lose Ben to lose him fucking again just because the Deputy was so fucking stubborn to move on when he should be yet properly resting and recovering from the week’s hold captivity.

He kicked a stone, screaming a curse into the air as the stone turned out to be much heavier than he first assumed.

_Fuck you, Ben. Fuck you for makin’ me care._

After he calmed down enough to sit down, he pulled out his lighter, playing with the little fire up until he felt like smoking, so he fished out his cigarettes and smoked nearly three at once to calm the fuck down. He didn’t want to burn the area though, he truly felt the need to do so but he couldn’t allow himself to do it again because of Ben, he fucking couldn’t be so fucking weak because of this man.

He cursed, he kept cursing each time he took a smoke, and he wanted to honestly cry. Sharky didn’t want to lose Ben, he didn’t want to lose his one and only friend in such a stupid way, and he realized that sitting there and staring into the distance won’t do any job at all.

Picking himself up, he threw the last yet unfinished cigarette out, and made his way towards the Wolf’s Den once more, truly hoping Ben wasn’t stupid enough to leave in the meantime when he was away, hoping the others stopped him just in case.

Going down, he saw everyone stare at him as if he was a madman but he again didn’t give much of a fuck about that. 

The boy in braids was holding Sharky’s unfinished plate, freezing in his tracks when he spotted the pyromaniac back in the bunker. He clearly wanted to give him the food back but Sharky shook his head and opened his mouth to ask about Ben but the boy interrupted his thoughts and stuttered that the Deputy was waiting in the room as before.

That made Sharky a tad nervous, and fidgeting on his rings didn’t make it any better. He cleared his throat and stepped inside, right away catching a glimpse of the curled up frame in the bed. His lips were about to bleed with how harshly he bit them, and his legs seemed to be made out of wool. They still automatically made Sharky step forward, and he approached the figure he hoped was Ben, only to catch the fact the cowboy was quietly sobbing. 

Ben must have not heard him enter, and that made Sharky realize he stepped into his comfort zone, _again._ Last time it happened all he did was sit beside and hug him and that helped, though this time, after he snapped at him, _yelled,_ to put it into a better word, then left him behind like a little stubborn baby, he couldn't be sure if this would work once more.

“Ben.” His voice was barely a whisper, and his hands nervously tried to find some support he eventually found by hiding them in the pocket of the black hoodie he couldn't stop to wear. It was the same Ben gifted him, a worn, old, used and _not his_ hoodie that he most of all associated with the Deputy.

 _“Don’t leave me again,”_ Ben cried it out and Sharky nearly fucking passed out remembering what hell Ben went through and how stupidly he reacted leaving Ben just like that with the nightmares that surely still haunted the Deputy.

“Ben, I’m sorry,” he climbed on the bed without even thinking twice, and Ben immediately shifted to nearly hang himself on the pyromaniac, crying, begging, and overall being the biggest mess of a man Sharky never saw before. It scared Sharky, and he promised himself he will beat himself into oblivion only to remember not to fucking act like a child, especially during times when Ben simply needed him the most. “I’m here, I’m… am not leavin’ ya, I promised, right?”

Ben obviously hurt his leg by cuddling to him like a scared puppy so Sharky quickly adjusted himself to make it easier for both of them. Ben was nearly all over him, clutching to him and mumbling things Sharky couldn’t even catch, and Sharky himself was quietly shushing him, hoping to ease it and trying his best to show Ben the support the boy fucking needed. He was ashamed that he reacted as he did, and he wanted to fix it.

“Am a fool, I know, _I know,_ ” he was whispering into Ben’s neck, and he had no clue how it happened that they were so fucking close, the curls gently tickling the skin on his face. His nose brushed against the Deputy’s ear, and he breathed loudly, nearly moaned the next words. “But ya ain’t…ya ain’t goin’ anywhere on ya own, alrighty?”

Ben murmured some more, protesting yet visibly not resisting the fact that he simply _couldn’t_ fight on his very own. Especially not now when he still was recovering, regaining strength and, by all means, he _needed_ to slow down, also to fucking rest up until both were sure they were ready to go on.

“You can’t go with me.” Ben moved his head, and Sharky’s nose brushed now against those freckled cheeks and Sharky nearly moaned once more, though he bit his lips before it went out of control.

“Yeah fuckin’ hell maybe I can’t but I fuckin’ _will.”_ He breathed those words out, unable to tell how the fuck he found enough of courage to speak up during such an intimate moment they shared.

Ben tensed at those words, and his cheeks visibly wrinkled in what Sharky could tell was a smile. He smiled too, though nervously because the whole situation and that closeness was something so new to him he yet couldn’t get over it that Ben was embracing him, their lips so close, so close once more…

Before he even lost himself in thoughts about the kiss that happened between them so freaking long ago, Ben moved, pulling away from the pyromaniac. Both adjusted enough to lay down _exactly_ like before, when both were yet asleep. Ben’s head rested on Sharky’s chest, and his hand sneaked into the black hoodie’s pocket, playing with the lighter from what the pyromaniac could tell only feeling the limb move.

Sharky embraced him more openly now, he wasn’t as nervous as before to do so, and after several minutes he’d started to think about how to make the Deputy truly see that Sharky fucking cared about him, even… _no,_ it was waaaay too fucking soon to think about something more. This was probably just a crush, nothing else, feelings that developed because Ben was the most attractive man he ever saw. But fucking hell, he would die for this man in an instant, he knew that. When they took Ben, whatever was on his mind easily could be called pure worry and care. Madness was there too, though not only for the fact they captured the Deputy but also for his own stupidity that didn’t allow him to save the man he cared for.

“I am done sleeping and lying in place, but… with you, I could do this the whole day.” The mess of curls let itself know about its yet not sleeping existence and Sharky couldn't help but smile and blush at those words. His hand again went up to grab the Deputy’s hair, finding great confidence than before to this time brush them and play with some of those curls, feeling how Ben’s body leaned against it like a damn puppy.

They were about to spend the week in Fall’s End, drinking beer and relaxing, not caring about the outer world… but this? This was more than fine.

 


End file.
